Part 5: Megatons of Fun!

Whatever you say, Gandalf.


That's not exactly the plan.


...okay.

Megatons of Fun!


This game has fast travel. For the uninitiated, this means you can open your map, click on any location you've already been to, and go there instantly. It's like having a silt strider anywhere you go. Some would argue that fast travel is a bad thing. If you're one of those people, sorry, but I intend to use it. So back to Megaton with us.



I could do with a bit of the ol' burgle.


Well, that's a shame. Doesn't look like there's anything good in-





I feel a little better now.


Oh, I forgot to mention, but this guy Stanley wanted me to fix some leaky pipes last time I was in town. Now that I know a thing or two about machines, I can go around tightening these here valves and whatnot.


Stanley paid me 200 caps, and he told me he'd pay me for any scrap metal I could find. Spare parts, I guess.

Hokay.


Hey, this Burke guy down at the bar offered me money to blow up your town. Thought you should know.
CRIPES


And with that, we agree that an interrogation is in order.


Mr. Burke did not like this.


Uh-oh.


None of that, now.


Welp, that's over and done with.


Hey, free hat.


I made a quick stop to disarm the bomb, which was trivial. I mean, come on. Red wire. Then I went to gocheck on Simms' house.


Doot doot doot, dead guy's leftovers.


Doot doo, mysterious empowering idol.


WHOA HELLO didn't see you there. Oh, you're just giving me a reward, you say?


Including my very own HOUSE, you say?


Holy dicks, it comes with a free horrible mechanical butler.


And he poops delicious drinking water that he gets by squeegeeing the moisture out of the air. Best not to think too hard about that.


Ooh.


Yay shrine! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do a bit of decorating.


Perfect.


...oh, right, I have a thing to do.


[] I did, in fact. The raiders were using the pharmacy to hide their best equipment.
So, you're saying that they acquired a well-protected stash? I wonder how many other places are hiding treasures behind monsters, hrm? Well, keep what you got. Just traded for a big food shipment, myself. Here, take a bit, my treat - the taste kind of grates after a while. Oh, and take this! It's an old Food Sanitizer. Just carry it with you, and it should automatically make most food and drink more, um...better.
Neat! Got any more work for me?
I need to study a living specimen with radiation poisoning, and I need someone to research how to travel through a minefield. And that'll cover the first section of the book.
Okay, what about radiation poisoning?
Well, that's what I need your help for, isn't it? I know lots about it from books, but I never seem to get a live example. Not for long, anyway. So I need you to get a bit of radiation poisoning so I can study its effects! Not a deadly dose, of course - I can fix you up before that!
No need for drastic measures -- I'm a scientist! Radiation poisoning has several detrimental effects, including headache, fever, nausea and dry mouth.
Oh, but nothing beats a real-world example. And I have a new rad treatment I was just itching to try out on a live subject! But I guess you're right, and at least it keeps you safe and sound for later testing. Here's some spare RadAway for your help.
(That's one radioactive bullet dodged, and one anti-radiation medication handily learned about.) I suppose that just leaves this MINE FIELD.
Right. Landmines are one of the few dangers out there that you can profit from. Disarm one before it blows, and you can sell it for plenty of caps.
(They're bombs, then. The more you know, it would seem.)
I've heard stories about a ghost town that's just full of mines. Traders just call the place "Minefield." Sounds like the place for some fieldwork! Get in there, get back, and tell me all about it. And could you bring back a mine for my studies?
Sure, I'll head into Minefield. Wish me luck.
Oh, don't worry. No one ever goes there because they say it's a ghost town. And since ghosts don't exist, you can just focus on the landmines. I hear there's a playground in the middle of town. Reach that point and come back, and I'm sure you'll have some stories to tell!


Then, of course, I had her repair my stuff. Some things are expensive no matter where you go.


I had to sell so much cola.


Anyway, time for a journey!



God I love this thing.


Huh. Old bridge. Wonder if there's anything good up there?


Ooh.


More funny eggs and more of those weird disc thingies. Neat!


Badass tech-knife update: I still love my badass tech-knife.


Guns are still pretty necessary when dealing with raiders, though.


Uh-oh. Dog bearing down on me.



Ahaha. The look on his face.


I was pretty sure this wasn't Minefield, but I heard gunfire, so I went to take a look.


The clamor died down-


-and then I met the baddest fucking dog you ever did see.


And we decided to team up. Forever.


Here we go, this looks more like a ghost town. But what's that on the road?


Hm. It looks like those disc thingies I picked up earlier. And I think there's a little switch on the-

So THAT'S a mine.


Fortunately, I can just hit the little switch and grab it if I'm quick. I got about fifteen mines this way. Hopefully these are as valuable as Moira says.


The hell? There's some guy attacking me with a gun up there.


Now you cut that out, mister.


Up in his nest, I found a nifty-looking rifle with a telescope on.


Must be for long-range shooting. Unfortunately, I can't hold it very straight, making it a bit useless at the moment.


So I decided to practice disarming mines and-



As you'll notice, we have three more skill points per level than before, thanks to the Educated perk. I'm putting it all into Speech this time. Speech may not be as flashy as lasers or computers, but it's useful. Basically, it opens the door to many beneficial dialog options.


And I decided to take this perk. Seems pretty solid, but, again, feel free to tell me if I'm missing out on any great ones.


-huge gun in an abandoned house. I wound up trying it out on some wildlife. It packs a punch, but it seems most effective at close range. I don't quite have the hang of it yet.


After I picked Minefield clean, I considered going back to Megaton- but then I decided, hell, why not see where the road goes?


We ran into a centurion on the way. Nasty fellow.


Fuck off, centurion, I'm exploring!


Hold on, what ARE those guys? Orcs?


More like SUPER orcs. They're pretty resilient.


But like I've said before, stay calm and fucking shoot 'em.


Seriously though, Dogbrows is pretty awesome. This floating music guy was getting all up in our business.


Dogbrows don't even give a fuck.


Also, he may be a wizard.


Whoa, what's that in the distance? Let's check it out, Dogbrows!


Paradise Falls, eh? Seems legit.


They've got an arms dealer. Handy!


This guy doesn't wanna let us in, though. Apparently it's a Slavers-only club.
There's two kinds of people who get into Paradise Falls. Slaves and Slavers. So unless you're looking to become a slave, piss off.
[] I'm sure we could come to a FINANCIAL AGREEMENT, good sir. Everyone has a price. What's yours?
We might be able to work something out. But it won't be cheap. If I vouch for you and you go mess up our groove, it's my ass on the line. I think 500 caps should cover it. What do you say?
So if I can get 500 caps together, you'll let me in?
That's what I said. Bring me the caps, and I'll vouch for you. Good luck.
See? Speech!


Unforuntately, that's way out of my price range for now, so I'll just be heading back to Megaton.


I decided to stop by the doctor's office, pick up some stimpaks.


His computer seemed to be broken, so I asked if I could have that tape of his. He said sure, go right ahead.


...huh. Interesting, I guess. But I've got better things to do.


Because, you know, they're on the ground, like potatoes. And hot because they, um, explode.
...keep on doin' what you're doin', there, Moira. I brought you a present, by the way.
My very own landmine! Just what I've always wanted. Well, always since I sent you out on this, anyway. Now, tell me all about it. What was it like going through there? What's it like disarming a land mine?
Fast hands and faster wits can get you an awful lot. Including landmines.
That's a pretty good way of putting it. I think I'll use that in the book. Maybe I should credit you as co-author, instead of just a researcher? I know you may not want to see any more explosives for a while, but obviously you know your way around them. Have a few rainy day toys of mine.
(...oh, fuck me, those balls I've been finding are BOMBS. Well, now I know.)
And looking at this landmine, it gives me an idea. It's a terrible device that does terrible things, of course. But it's easy to make your own, too.
Moira proceeded to shove a blueprint in my face, detailing a mine built with a tin box, money, and some science-looking thing. Weird.
So that completes the first chapter's tasks, right?
Correct, and it's looking very smart. Very smart, indeed! They'll be dazzled by our intelligence! Here, for your services, I've saved up quite a few stimpaks. Of course, you may need them; we've still got two more chapters to go.
What's on the docket for chapter two, then?
The second chapter's going to be a bit trickier, I think. It'll cover how to handle creatures out there, for better or for worse. For example, repelling Mole Rats, learning about Mirelurks, and when all else fails, how to handle being injured. So, let's buckle down and get to work on this chapter? What first?
I'm going to hate myself for this, but what do you mean about handling injury?
Well, I never get to study anyone who's severely injured-
So you want me to get banged up, is it? Easy enough.
I'll be waiting here with plenty of bandages for you. So don't worry, and just go get horribly injured. Oh, and be careful!



Gah. Well, that was easy enough.


She happily patched me up and that was pretty much that. She gave me a protective suit, too. Helps block radiation, apparently.

So what are we doing with Mole Rats?
Mole Rats can burrow into almost anything and cause a lot of trouble. So I figured I'd make a chemical repellant stick for people to shoo them off. So I need you to find some Mole Rats and test it out a bit.
Fuck around, hit Mole Rats. Got it.


Well, you heard the lady. We've got a world to fuck around in.


Isn't that right, boy?