Part 9: Seriously, fuck DC

Not only would that take up lots of disk space, but it might cause a performance hit, and it's kind of overcomplicated when I have a thing what already takes screenshots.

Seriously, fuck DC


Where was I? Oh yes, Behemoth.


Those Brotherhood of Steel guys did most of the work, really, and then we shuffled into the GNR building proper.


And there's Dogbrows! He's fine...ish.




As it turns out, the Three Dog gentleman I needed to speak to was upstairs.


He knew where my dad was, but it wasn't quite that simple.


Apparently I need to go salvage some spare part off of the Virgo Lander which is in some museum and plonk it down on this Washington Spire thingy so he can keep his radio station running. Well, fair enough.



This level, I decided to bring my bangbang up to snuff with my pewpew. Not that I don't like lasers, but the small guns family offers a wee bit more diversity. Be prepared, right?


I also took Comprehension, which lets me gain two points from books instead of just the one. It's a must!


For some mysterious reason, this moment felt like a really good time to bone up on energy fields. So I did. I can't say I understood it all, but it helped to demystify this world just a bit.


Then I headed out the back to embark on my journey to the MUSEUM OF TECHNOLOGY


I took aim at a decrepit...wait. Where is my dog.


WHEN WERE YOU EVEN IN THE METRO TUNNELS


Okay, I've got way too much stuff. Whatever this thing is, it's gonna have to wait here.


So anyway, me and Dogbrows proceeded to bounce around this ruined-ass city looking for a museum. It was asinine.



There were some cool parts, I guess.


We ran into these guys, too. I'm gonna go out on a limb and blame that radiation crap for them.


Oh hey, there's a museum.


Hey, who's this ghoul? She looks pretty stable.


Well, I wouldn't call myself a tourist. For that matter, who the heck are you?
I'm the sentry for Underworld. City of Ghouls? Inside the Museum? For a tourist, you're pretty clueless...
Oh, of course. The City of Ghouls. How silly of me.
My name's Willow, by the way.
And you wouldn't believe my name if I told you. So anyway, what's this about a City of Ghouls?
Underworld. It's right inside the Museum of History, then through the big skull.
How...festive.
Most of the residents ain't crazy about humans, but they'll sell to you, fix you up, so long as your caps are good. And you ain't a ghoul hater.
Yeah, speaking of things that hate things, aren't you afraid of the Super Mutants? I mean, it's dangerous out here. With respect.
Those knuckle draggers? Nah. They don't bother us ghouls. Maybe they see us as kin or something. Idunno. Now, those other assholes...
Assholes, you say?
Yeah, you know. Those humans, like you.
Hey.
Well, maybe not like you, Idunno, but humans all the same. The Brotherhood of Steel guys with their testosterone and power armor...those psycho Talon Company mercs...THOSE other assholes.
Oh, yes, the shooty-shooty bang-bang variety of asshole. Well, thanks for the tip!
Till next time, sightseer.
_{Am not.}


Through the skull, then.


I came, I saw, I shopped. Not much to say about the place, other than the ghouls.


There was this guy, who gave me a list of "those assholes" to assassinate. He's got a sense of humor, apparently, because he wants me to shoot them in the head like in the old draugr stories.


More intriguingly, that Tenpenny guy's on the list. I certainly wouldn't mind paying him a visit after the shit he tried to pull with Megaton.


After I was done in Underworld, I decided to check out the rest of the history museum.


There was some good stuff in there, like this sneaking manual. It was all in some foreign language, of course, but posture illustrations are universal.
Note: I forgot to mention that I came across another one of these. Now you can stop agonizing over any inconsistencies on the next level-up screen.


Now lemme tell you about this baby.


It's a high-powered, high-accuracy fancy as shit rifle is what it is. It's designed to take the bullets from that scoped pistol of mine, so I don't have a lot of ammo for it at the moment. Still, it's clearly a masterwork.
Lincoln's Repeater is great. At a whopping 50 damage, it outclasses both the Alien Atomizer and the Atomic Pulverizer from Mothership Zeta. On top of this, there's no spread whatsoever. This means that wherever you click, that's where it shoots, without exception. This makes it pretty handy for the ol' sneak attack, but it's somewhat balanced out by requiring the rare .44 magnum rounds.


Ding! Nothing too special this level. Just improving my Speech and creeping up on the requirement for Hard locks.


The perk, on the other hand, is great. From here on out, whenever we use VATS we have a flat 10% chance of the Mysterious Stranger showing up and shooting an enemy for 18,002 damage six times over. It's never not a good thing. Unfortunately, no screenshots of him turned out this update. Not a fucking word, Shei-kun.


There's the museum I'm looking for.


Place is crawling with Super Mutants, of course,


but that ain't really an issue.


They also had a stadium that simulated the stars. That was pretty neat.


We got to the lander and took the dish thingy without issue, really.


Then we went into the Washington Spire and put the dish thingy where it goes.


And after that we got lost in the DC ruins for...Idunno, probably a fortnight. You don't wanna hear about that.


Anyway, it turns out my "dad" went to see a Dr. Li in Rivet City. Something about a Project Purity?


I am just FULL of levels today! Dumping all of my points into Speech because, well, Speech is pretty good.


I also took this perk. Seems pretty cool.


So I stumbled my way through those tunnels one last time.


Oh hey, a merchant all alone in this isolated tunnel.



Lizard Wizard ain't goin' soft.


I get it! He's picking locks!


According to the directions, Rivet City should be just...


...over...is that city a fucking boat. Well, no matter, in we go!


Hold on, are you one Ted Strayer?
Yeah, man.
Do you know a Mister Crowley?
My dad knew a dude named Crowley. I never met him though.
Well, he sorta wants you dead.
Holy shit, man!
Calm down. If you just give me something personal, I can tell Crowley you're dead. No more problem.
Well, I...I've got this key, but I'm not so sure...
Speech, 90% Alternatively, YOU GET FUCKING MURDERED.
Success Uh...sure, dude. I don't know what it's for anyway. Don't need to get all thug like.
See how handy Speech is?


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is the gun store.


Hey, remember those alien power modules I picked up a while back? Worth a fortune.


So then I was all looking for Dr. Li's place, and this gal was like aaaaaaa don't fuck with my android friend, and she explained that there're these human-replica robots called androids that're used as slaves. Apparently she supports runaway androids, and is trying to keep some android in Rivet City from being caught by some dastardly old fuck. She says if I help to dupe the dastardly old fuck with an android part, she'll let me into her anti-slavery movement. Sure, why not.


That seems about right.


Called it! So, long story short, my dad's revived this old project of his to purify all the water in the wasteland. I could get behind that. More importantly, he made a beeline for his old lab at the Jefferson Memorial. Whatever that is.


YOUR ANDROID IS DEAD HERE IS A KNOB TO PROVE IT


With that out of the way, let's make tracks! Dr. Li said the Jefferson Memorial wasn't too far away...


And it wasn't far away at all!


Blasty blasty fight fight. No surprises here, folks.


Holy shit, Lizard Wizard, stop leveling up. Now I can pick hard locks and shoot better!


And I took this perk. It is compulsory.


No dad here, but I did find some tapes! Apparently he went off to Vault 112, following a lead about some wondrous machine that can create lush paradises. It's...near some town to the west, apparently.


For now, though, I gotta head back to Megaton to rest. Rest, and think about my next move. Should I just try and take out Tenpenny? Should I follow my dad's trail? Hell, I've been meaning to check out Canterbury Commons as we-


AGH ARMOR GUY.





Good dog. Best friend.