Part 16: Preoria Part 2: :gonk:
I wrote the whole LP yesterday and what do I find today? Spoilers! Accusations! The Irish!FoolyCharged posted:
Why is everyone proposing ways to deal with the turrets when JcDent has clearly found the best one: ritualistic blood sacrifices of useless people?
As you will see in the LP, the answer is to use the same tactic that served in the Alien levels of Colonial Marines: run
Post 16: Preoria Part 2:
Having destroyed some more scorpions and flipped a random switch, the troops marched on.
By that I mean Keith and Stumpy were sent to clean the next room while Flashman was aiming to swipe rotten food off the garbage container (situated in a very uncomfortable spot for removal of garbage)
Keith runs to the super special awesome markings locker... only to miss a scorp the size of mastiff. Happens to everyone, right?
The Shotgun! It does nothing when you're so incompetent!
I wish there was some way to implement skills into games without such things as damage reduction. Unlike sword, a bullet is as deadly when fired by an infant as by a veteran warrior.
Flashman bags another platter of rotten meat and maggots. A question remains: why?!
The Blue Locker contain "Fushyon bat" and antivenom for a team so incompetent that three of them got poisoned by the scorpion (ours didn't, but you can bet that someone's did)
But first, let's swipe these off a puddle that used to be a Vault 0 dweller.
Turrets can't touch you if you run at a mild job!
And to the right: Sharon puddle, .jpg artefacts.
Beth, you do the honors.
That's a stupid syst... OH SHIT, LEG IT!
Running past turrets later... bugs! A shit ton of bugs!
And more inviting radioactive places ahead.
Ah, a small bug!
As we get ambushed by scorps, Keith finally succumbs to poison.
Flashman half-way forms a tear before remembering what a horribel peace loving, non-pugilist, shotgun mishandling fool Keith was, and the tiny drop of water boils away from RAGE.
Continuing forward, Flashman probably (I forget) uses some Psycho and goes to punch a turret.
The turret seems to be entirely incapable of hitting something at point blank range, so it takes all the punches.
For about five minutes or so.
As you can see in the left lower corner, the last hit scored 11 damage. It was usually closer to 2.
It also has a shit ton of power cells.
Micro Fusion Cells, to be precise, each one of them supposedly a self sufficient power generator. However, that's either 700 power generators that get used up every time you fire a gun, or a micro fusion cell with ~700 charges. However, the last part is unlikely, since I could, if wanted, spread the 700 cells around everywhere I go.
It's this kind of nitpicking that leads one to not having anymore.
More dead bugs, and the squad explores a locker.
Well, hello there!
M-14...is also like the gun I used in Vietnam? I don't know, but it's a little out of place in the year 20XX and laser turrets. Still, free guns and ammo!
The squad breaches another room and spot/hear/smell one of the teeny tiny giant roaches.
In the process of fighting teeny tiny giant roaches, Stumpy runs out of ammo and switches the AK for the M-14. It's not a favorable change.
Also, I understand why I was swimming in ammo before this point: Flashman was the most effective of all killing machines.
I also like to possition classes deep inside supply complexes and near loading areas that offer no way to transport cargo bigger than a regular cardboard box.
Food, yay!
Actually, Beth used some food, including the meat pie, to heal up earlier. Meat pies are like stimpacks, apparently.
Stumpy apparently has 112% in traps and disarms them.
Inside we find a trap manual.
Ha-ha?
This kennel/the sole entrance to the loading area has busted dog/roach cages and clipping issues. The next room has only large roaches.
Flashman prepares the rocket launcher while Stitch and Stumpy prepare baiting tactics.
One down, more to go.
Something seems to be missing, tho.
Well, not that. EEEEK!
Cockroaches: can survive nuclear war, but not fans of doors... or The Doors, come to think of it.
Leaking Mountain Dew, the last roach scurries into a corner to teleport away.
Well, I think that's what he's trying to do.
My previous dorm used to have one roach that I would chase into a corner where it would disappear into thin air.
Fucking roaches, man.
There's the fucker!
Also AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!1!
Except that it never moves, and Flashman has to get into splash damage distance to have more than 10% accuracy (Pe 3, bitches
), so the squad bursts the fucker with small arms. 
No more roaches (and only one more BDSM-gone-bad victim) near the locker! You know what time it is!
It's extremely underwhelming "mission done, go back to base" message time!
The Roachzilla has nothing, because none of the bugs have loot, because bugs and other ankle biter non humanoids are shitty enemies that are never fun
Well, we still have some more exploration to do which entails...
...killing some more bugs!
And stealing some shit from... the communal swinger room? I have no other ideas that would explain three double wide beds in one room.
That's either a porno mag or some more gun manuals. Either way, not too bad.
Woop woop, turrents ain't got nothing on us.
One bad thing about being (or telling everyone that you are) a game/movie critic is that movies/games become a fight against writers: your guessing abilities/experience against their hack writing.
So, I already knew at least one thing that would be in that locker. Try to guess!
Surprise! A gym locker has steroids!
...I felt a lot happier when it happened than when I wrote that line
The squad gets back outside. One tribal got liquefied, but either nobody liked her, or all that breeding has done a number on their perception. Either way, it works for us.
Dahl wants to consult an ancient artefact of scrying.
Oh, those tribals and their superstitions!
Their entirely accurate superstitions, in as far as prophecies are possible in games that let the player choose the ending.
The squad also talks to the chief.
Apparently Flashman laughs at chief's assertion that they'd all get radiation illness. And that's the most personality our character shows in the entire game.
Hey, only one civvie died, cut me some slack, dialogue triggers!
Micro Forte, wants to have their "ha ha, superstitions" cake and eat it with prophecies
Next Time: I Lighten Up A Little While Buying/Selling Stuff