Part 25: Healing Powder Fever, Springfield Part 3Well, there's at least two enemy types to go before I need to EMP something.
Post 25: Healing Powder Fewer, Springfield Part 3
CAWS, deathclaws, wasps, exploding beetles... things were getting a little crazy for Flashman.
And as they say, you have to fight crazy with crazy.
As in "do Psycho".
Aaaah, that's the stuff
The same stuff that carried Flashman through Springfield, a shit of a town! By the time they got to the city center, they had been shot so many times, it seemed unreal.
Then again, on Pscyho, nothing seemed impossible.
EXCEPT FINDING ANYTHING USEFUL! Springfield was full of shitty people and shitty loot. A shitty city! Why would the Brotherhood protect those who didn't have anything worth protecting? At least the Whatyoudo tribe had a sexy shaman. Springfield? Springfield had sassy ghouls and pink roof tiles in the church.
Understandably, clearing one of three remaining buildings was a disappointment.
So Flashman did what Flashman did second best and ran back to that one big white building, where Ice had already shot a guy. There was nothing interesting on the first floor, except for a jail.
Not expecting this jail to hold anything as awesome as shotgun, Flashman shouted for ice to get there and check it out.
Meanwhile, Flashman darted upstairs, quick as...flash, one might say. HAHA.
There was nobody in the slammer but a body. A body with a mine! Ice, being cool as ice or cocumbers, was still no expert in explosives, so she just nabbed a stimpack laying on the floor - and a floor ain't not place for a stimpack to lie!
Stumpy was called in he defuse the mine. He didn't know why someone would mine a person already dead.
Good ol' Stumpy.
BOOM ZOOM STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!
Flashman was blur, running upstairs and punching one guy dead! Unfortunately, he has running at his capacity to carry useless stuff, so Ice and Stumpy were called in to help.
BUT FLASHMAN NEEDS NO HELP IN PUNCHING, because he totally punched one guy on second floor roof dead.
Ice snaked her shapely buns up the tower that was one the building, but even her cool cat/smooth operator skillz didn't let her hit the assholes parading in front of the mayor's mansiom.
Flashman suspects that she did it purpose. Maybe it was a gift to Flashman. Maybe her heart wasn't all...ice.
There was a lot of idiots in front of the mayor's place. Knowing Springfield, idiots must have gathered there every day, but these morons had guns! So Flashman position those people he runs around real carefully and tried to get the drop on their leader of the pack.
Good thing friendly fire is just a commie Canadian lie.
Alas, the foul beast of a leader opened his trap and some unintelligible garbage spewed forth:
That's far enough, ghoul licker! I can't let you ruin my plans. Those ghouls aren't human! Why would anyone want to give them regular, God-fearing, human rights? It ain't fair to all the honest pure bloods. My plan was perfect, and I would gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling soldiers.
Yaggedy yack. Flashman doesn't have time for speeches or hatered.
Flashman needs time to kill.
Pretty soon everybody outside the building (except Flashman) were dead, mostly punched to death. The rest of the squad took quite the beating, proving once again that armor, cover and firearms are a bad stand in for actual skill in fisticuffs.
Inside, Flashman found mayor Chris Avelone, who wasted his time with more speaking:
"Thank God you're here! Look, this has got to stop. Those bastards aren't really raiders, you know. They're a right-wing hate group. Now if we let them kill all the ghouls, who will they go after next? Besides, the ghouls do tasks and jobs that humans can never do. I mean no human can work in the waste cesspools long without getting sick. The ghouls don't mind at all. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I hope you stick around for my big speech, it's really what this whole thing is about. Follow me.
More speaking? Then again, there was no more killing to be done.
Besides, when Flashman used the little fun package to get in the zone, Ice smelled reaaaal nice. He can stand around a bit.
The mayor went back to the park (Flashman remembered all the punching here did there. Good times) and made a speech to the gathered limp wristed mounthbreathers and other assorted townfolk. None of them a chin worthy of a man or worth punching. One ghoul didn't have a chin at all!
The speech went a little a like this, and Flashman only noticed it because Ice called it "a remarkable effort in almost trying not to be racist":
"People of Springfield. You've all known me as Mayor Avellone for two years now and as Chris Avellone for many years before that. I've always been proud serving this town and all its people - and that's a fact. But I won't stand for this worthless hate violence, not as a mayor, and certainly, not as a man.
We shouldn't hate the ghouls for being what they are. They can't help it if they were mutated into hideous looking monsters. Remember, that inside that monster, under the rotting flesh, the flaking skin, and the misshapen features is a second-class citizen. These good people delouse our cesspools, clean or grease pits and work the slaughterhouse. That's honest, hard work!
So don't hate them for being insidiously ugly. Instead of attacking them, be kind! Instead of calling a ghoul ugly, tell it how fine it looks! I know you may not want to pat a ghoul on the back and that's OK; just don't burn it's house down.
And now here a new bill I would like to present to you: it's called the Bill of Monster Rights. Under this bill, there will be no violence against a ghoul, unless the ghoul started it! And from now on, a ghoul is entitled to payment equal to or greater than half that of a pure-bred human! And lastly, no more will "taking a dump" be referred to as "pinching the ghoul," or "making ghoul babies," or "dropping off the ghoul at the pool."
I know we can live together in harmony, I just know it. Thank you!"
They robbed the church on their way out. What kind of church has grenades on its collection plate anyway?
"You seem to be zoning out a little. Flashman, are you OK?"
Next time: Mardin Part 1: Still Better Than Preoria, Somehow