The Let's Play Archive

Far Cry 3

by FrenzyTheKillbot

Part 39: Exploration VII


[Memory Card 16: Meth Formula]

Our Mexican Organized Crime Unit lieutenant has new data following the raid of a super-lab in Sonora, Mexico. The intel gives precise details on how to mass manufacture Meth, lists disreputable wholesalers of ephedrine and pseudoephedrine, and includes research on the best fillers to maximize profit. Hopefully this compound will recapture some of the markets lost to the product coming out of New Mexico.

[Memory Card 18: Opium Formula]

The formula stolen from a Myanmar drug lord includes the poppy's proper growth techniques, the harvesting of the poppy's milk, and finally, its processing into sun-dried morphine bricks. It shares markets similar to those of heroin and will be highly profitable. Full production should begin immediately.

[Memory Card 19: PCP Formula]

Research into manufacturing PCP, including the equipment and the chemicals used, is complete. Given the drug's frequent nasty side effects and the fact that its usage tends to spike and dip, it does not have enough of a market to warrant an international operation. We have the capability to produce this compound, but should focus our resources on other products.

[Letter 17: Hurk's First Letter]

To whoever reads this,

I'm Hurk. So, I found these old letters, right? In Japanese or something, but these ones were totally faded out and really hard to read, so I figured nobody would care what some dead army dude was saying about shit that happened during the Civil War. No offense to dead army dude's family, but he's dead and I seriously need this paper. So if you're a dude or dudette reading this, please be on the lookout for a white and gray macaque monkey named Gilbert. I named him that. Gilbert is evil. I don't mean throwing crap at you evil. I mean holding it so you can see it and then rubbing it in your face. I think that if Gilbert could talk, he'd rub shit in your face while saying something clever like "monkey see, monkey do." Yeah, totally bent. Anyways, he got away from me, right, and I need to get him back before--

[Letter 18: Hurk's Second Letter]

To whoever reads this,

It's Hurk again. I ran out of space on that last piece of paper, so I was saying I needed to stop Gilbert before he started his rain (rein?) of terror, right? Too late. He already started. Gilbert's got other monkeys following him like a pack, doing his bidding. It's like watching cheerleaders, man. You know the way cheerleaders move around in a pack, right, always following that one really hot chick with the blond hair, the tight ass, and the perfect tits? And it's like, every time they walk past you, they move like they're in slow motion, and they look at you like they don't even see you. Totally Lacy Barnstrom hot, right? She was the head cheerleader at my school, and I did shit to her yearbook pictures that totally got the pages all fucked up. Shit, I'm out of space again.

[Letter 19: Hurk's Third Letter]

To whoever reads this,

Okay, so I got sidetracked by Lacy Barnstrom and her yearbook pics, but you would too if you knew her. Actually, I hear she makes porn now. Totally gotta check that shit out because dude! My angel is a centerfold! How awesome is that? Anyways, I gotta stop Gilbert. See, I taught Gilbert how to pull the pins on grenades and how to throw them. And now I think he likes it. He's gotten a taste for blowing shit up and he's teaching the other monkey's how to do it. Scratch that. I think he's teaching them how to pull the pins on grenades, but he isn't teaching them how to throw the grenades! Sick, right? This monkey is off the vine, man. Anyways, I'm following the sounds of the explosions. Little dude can't run forever.


[Letter 20: Hurk's Fourth Letter]

To whoever reads this,

I found more washed out letters from Japanese Civil War many of them are there? Anyways, it's over. I did it. I caught up to Gilbert and his pack of monkeys. There weren't many of them left, and the survivors...they had that look in their eyes, the look that said "you haven't see the shit I've weren't there, man, you weren't there!" I had no choice. I had to challenge Gilbert to dominance of the pack. It was the only way to save the survivors. Gilbert chose the weapons...the grenades I brought, like I knew he would. And that's how I beat him, because one thing I never taught the little dude, was how to fuck with the timers. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when I caught the grenade...and threw it back. That startled "o" face he made will haunt me for the rest of my life. But the pack's free now...the pack's free.