Part 101: Together
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content warning: self-harm mention, suicide mention
To no one's surprise, how you answer Miharu's question is an ending-determinant choice!
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BGM: Silence
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-Accept her confession.
-Turn her down.
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That's all I can muster for my answer. All color fades from her face for a moment. She speaks up after a moment of silence.
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She dashes toward the station after her question, not giving me any time to respond. I don't have the right to chase after her. Her emotional state is obvious. And I'm the one responsible for it. I just can't accept her feelings, though. I'm still not sure about my own, but most importantly, I'm scared of our current relationship changing.
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My apology falls on deaf ears. I make my way home after that. The nighttime scenery makes the journey back even more painful.
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BGM: Rinka's Room
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I get ready for bed once back home. Way too much has happened today. First I finished my finals, then Mao dragged us all out, and then I had to finally give Miharu an answer. ...And I answered her. And my answer hurt her. I really should sleep for now. The store will be open for the first time in a while tomorrow, so I need to get up early. There's a lot to be done. I've messaged my gran as well, so all that's left is to shut my eyes.
It's fortunate that the next election isn't the last. We'll still have a week to work things out if nothing comes from this one. As much as I want to finish the diary, I'm better off getting some rest.
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BGM: Silence
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07/14 (SAT), Morning
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I drag myself out of bed and stretch. I'm opening up the store for the first time in a while today. There are a lot of preparations to make, so the store's only going to be open from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Once ready to face the day, I make my way downstairs.
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BGM: Lion House Cafe
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07/14 (SAT), Evening
I let out a sigh after finishing up with the day's last customer. The day's coming to an end and I don't feel any better. I think it's because I realize that I'm using work as a means to keep my mind off things.
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Mao, who I don't even remember entering the store, makes one of her patented jokes. I glance at her face before sighing again.
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She makes her way to a table and sits down. Now I see that she's brought a lot of stuff with her.
BGM: A Time of Healing
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She then digs out a pile of manga from her bag and lines them all across the table.
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I'm pretty sure she'll be doing the same thing here, but I decide not to point it out. Hearing rejected come out of her mouth forces me to better realize what I've done. I outright denied the possibility of entering a relationship with Miharu. Not like it's a sin, but... There's no means for me to repent, either. She's hurting far more than I am. I know that, but I can't get over what I've done. That's why I've been sighing so much.
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Yeah, whatever. She did it on purpose. So Miharu figured things would turn out like this and asked Mao to mitigate the damage, huh... Not for herself, but for me. I'm at a loss for words. That hits home just how strong her resolve was. It wasn't some half-hearted confession. She put an almost painful amount of thought into it.
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Looks like this has taken its toll on Mao, too. Not that I can blame her. It's been a pretty complicated process, all things considered. Seeing her try so hard to comfort me hurts, but at the same time, it does make me happy.
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In a rare twist, Mao recommends some shounen manga as opposed to the usual shoujo stuff. What's more, it's a super long series that's been going on since before I was born. I eventually give into her whims and decide to spend the weekend reading manga and chatting with her.
...
BGM: Rinka's Room
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07/15 (SUN), Night
I find myself relaxing in my room on Sunday night, not long before this week's Divine Selection. The weekend really did end up being nothing but Mao and me hanging out. Can't say I've ever had such a lazy weekend before. I didn't even make any progress with the diary, much less spare a moment to think about Divine Selection itself. I use the fact that we still have a week left after this to push it out of my mind. Granted, I can't deny that everything with Miharu has taken a toll on me, and that hanging out with Mao did help me to feel better.
Miharu sends me a text around ten. She's asking me to elect her tonight. It doesn't end there, of course. She says she'll protect herself. This is probably our only chance to test that method. I don't need to worry about her going back on her word and it's worth betting on even the smallest chance. As such, I send her a reply agreeing to do so. Mao said I need to switch gears starting Monday, so I'll do that. Things won't go back to normal right away, but nothing can change the fact that Miharu's a precious friend.
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I say to no one in particular.
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Lethe makes its way into the room just as I turn off the lights. There's a hint of loneliness in its mewing tonight.
...
BGM: The Sacred Large Hall
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07/15 (SUN), Midnight
Of the twelve platforms present in the Court of Fate, only two remain that participants are actually standing on. Miharu's and my own. A strange sense of sadness pervades the endless dreamscape. As usual, Parca's voice cut straight through those sensations.
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Neither of us react to her comment, causing her to press on.
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Miharu sighs before speaking. There's a special meaning behind this being the twelfth time, though. I always figured that the twelve weeks and twelve participants was just due to twelve being a good, round number. Like how a year's split into twelve months, a clock into twelve hours, and so on. It's a common phenomenon the world over. The same can't be said after this revelation, though. It's too big of a coincidence for the number twelve to recur this much.
Then again, I'm not sure if twelve is a lot in this case, since I don't know how much time passes between each selection period.
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Now that I think about it, something doesn't add up. Parca's always mindful of time passing during in this procedure. She never just lets the participants talk till they're blue in the face. She always forces things forward eventually. Why would she do that if this place is supposedly cut off from the normal flow of time?
BGM: Do You Understand?
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Parca makes her announcement before I can ask about it, however. The clock at the center of the Court of Fate begins to move shortly after.
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A hint of surprise washes across Parca's face. It soon swirls into a wicked grin, albeit just for a moment. Perhaps she's realized what we're planning, as she knows we're friends.
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I make eye contact with Miharu. She nods ever so slightly in response.
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We've placed our bets. Our platforms begin to gradually ascend toward the upper stratum.
...
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Once we arrive, we go over things before Parca appears. This whole ordeal might just come to an end right here. Although unlikely, the possibility does exist. All we need to do is make us both incapable of becoming Parca's vessel. She won't be able to exist in the real world without one. She might be able to remain within the Court of Fate, but honestly, I don't care what happens to her. What's important is ensuring that we both have a future. That's why we're doing this.
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Knowing that Miharu is going to protect herself helps to keep me composed. Part of me does fear Parca's reaction, based on how pleased with this situation she is. We won't get anywhere without trying, though.
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Miharu's on the same page as me. Parca pouts for a moment, but she quickly adopts a grin instead.
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BGM: Fated Selection
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I nod and flip open my card book. Picking out the three cards I need is an easy task.
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I speed right through the election this time. Once I finish, Miharu opens her card book. I can't see too well thanks to the light, but I assume she's getting her cards ready as well.
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Miharu quickly declines Parca.
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Saying that, she closes her card book. The meaning behind her gesture is more than apparent. My three cards begin to make their way to the center of the Court of Fate in response.
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Light pours forth from them, drowning out both the scenery and my screams. My subconscious is overtaken, stealing away any opportunity to address Miharu. All that's left is one single regret.
This result is all my fault.
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BGM: Fall Into...
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The scene shifts to that of a lone girl. The type of person with a tendency to beat themselves up in the face of any misfortune. This led to her desire for pain. A desire that never abated. She came to learn about the wickedness in people's hearts. The insatiable parasite known as jealousy. What's worse, she learned that she herself was a host for it.
She decided to reject herself.
Rejecting herself while trapped in a mental prison was no simple task. It was something that could only be accomplished through death. Knowing this, she chose to put herself to rest. Her limp body and blood-drenched covers were reminiscent of a princess asleep on a bed layered with flower petals.
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BGM: WARNING
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I'm unable to bring myself to my feet even after returning to the lower stratum. Miharu has been eliminated. I saw the moment of her death as a result. The same happened with Yu, Scale, and Alan. I elected all of them to keep my own life. And I even did it to Miharu.
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I sacrificed what's most precious to me.
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Parca explodes into an evil grin.
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I can't contain my anger. How dare she laugh in the face of what's just happened. The sheer vigor with which I shout at her sends my tears flying off my face.
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Her laughter doesn't let up, though. It doesn't take long for me to realize that her evil grin is directed right toward me.
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