Part 20: Letter

BGM: Powerless


05/20 (SUN), Morning
When I wake up the next morning, I feel miserable. I didn't have any dreams last night. Well, I don't think I did, anyway. There's no doubt they would've been nightmares, if I had any. Maybe that's why I don't remember...

Might as well get the store ready.

Fortunately, I'm able to get the store up and running like normal. Probably because work should keep my mind off everything else.

…...

BGM: Lion House Cafe


05/20 (SUN), Noon
Before long, it's after noon. The number of customers drops significantly around this time thanks to the current lack of a proper food menu.

Welco- Oh.



Table for one... Well, two. Is that okay?

Kamebuchi Keiko arrives, her baby in her arms. I see no reason to turn them away, so I lead her to an empty table.



She orders coffee, so I make sure to brew it like I always do. The last thing I want is to let any of my sadness or sympathy leak into it.



This is delicious...

She doesn't order anything for her baby, which isn't surprising. Not like we have anything that a baby could enjoy in the first place.

Hey, mind if we have a little chat?

BGM: Entrusted Feelings


She's the only customer at the moment, so I accept her offer.

The truth is, I couldn't help but think how lovely your name was the moment I saw it on the card.

That came out of nowhere.

I've been meaning to tell you since we first met... I felt that your name didn't suit you once I saw that you in the dream world- just a scared little child. I was disappointed, in all honesty. Your name invokes a certain dignified image, and yet you are quite the opposite.

That's kind of annoying to hear, but I can't really argue with it. I really must've looked helpless in the dream world.

Anyway, you're completely different in person. The look in your eyes here is far more dignified than that of any other participant. Your words are filled with passion.

You said yesterday that one's name almost represents their life. It reminded me of how my grandmother would always tell me not to be ashamed of my name.

I never expected her to remind me of that.



Sounds like a lovely grandmother... Do as she says. Treasure that name of yours.

She finishes off her coffee along with that train of thought.

Well... I have a request for you.

A request...?

Yes. I'd like for you to take this letter. I ask that you transcribe it for me, even though that sounds like a pain. It's... a letter I wrote to my husband... and my child. But it'll disappear if I get eliminated tonight. I included the appropriate address and name inside, so just send it there.



If I do get eliminated tonight, then it'll have been three weeks since I died come Monday, no? The birth certificate needs to be filled within two weeks after a baby's birth, so his name will likely have already been decided. Still, I'd like for them to understand my feelings on the matter.

She avoids referring to Haruki by name for some reason. I can't claim to understand why, but I do recognize the reality that he won't have that name when he's eliminated.

Are you... giving up?

Oh, no. I can protect myself if I manage to learn all three pieces of info about Numeral XII. I've been working on that for a while now, even though the results are hardly uplifting. Maybe I've half given up, but I'll still spend the rest of today doing all I can. Even so, I'm aware that it'll probably be a waste of time...



And I don't want to hear a peep from you about helping me, either.

I wasn't planning to. He'd realize that we're cooperating if he found us, which means I'd be targeted as well. Besides, I'd fail to carry out your request if I get eliminated.

That's what I wanted to hear. Thank you.

She reveals a satisfied smile before continuing.

I'm not sure if this will make up for my actions, but I can tell you the one thing I did learn about him.



His name is Alan Scorpion. He is a young business entrepreneur from India, having turned his parents' jewelry company into a global business just a few years after inheriting it. Finding that out wasn't too hard since I know his face. There's plenty of info about him on the internet, even. By coincidence, I happened to spot a photo of him while thumbing through a magazine. Although I'm sure it was taken long before Divine Selection started.

Alan Scorpion... So that's his name...!

Yes. That's all I can tell you, though. Especially since my elimination is not set in stone. There's also the fact that, while I'm making this request of you, I'm also betting on you.



There is no need for her to explain what she means. She's entrusted me with something important. I know exactly what that is, too.

Alright, I should be going... I'm counting on you.

And just like that, she leaves. All that remains behind is her letter. I don't feel any sort of pressure from having accepted it. In fact, shouldering her feelings has given me more hope than when I spent my time worrying about having to eliminate the other participants. I can understand what she wants precisely because we haven't spoken much.


With dignity...

I take a nice, big stretch. I'm on my own from this day forward. The last thing I want to do is bring shame to my name.

…...

BGM: Rinka's Room


05/20 (SUN), Night
When I return to my room later that night, my book of cards starts to glow again.

XII – Name – Alan Scorpion

To no surprise, it turns out to be his name card. Keiko said that you could find him easily on the Internet, so I run a quick search. Little did I expect this many results from a simple name search.

This feels a bit too easy...

Or so I think, but things get complicated very quickly. There's nothing on him from before he inherited the company at age sixteen, let alone anything related to how he may have died three weeks ago. No need to mention that his regret remains a complete mystery, too. But knowing his occupation, where he's from, and especially his name is a big step forward. It may be worthwhile to head back to the library again and look through some newspapers and magazines.



As for right now, I've got something more important to do- transcribing the letter from Keiko.

…...

BGM: Entrusted Feelings
...Okay.

Written on the paper are her thoughts and feelings towards her husband and child. She actually didn't write it as herself, but as one of her friends. That means it'll be far less painful for her husband to read compared to one coming directly from her. Her writing is nice and tidy. Just reading it feels like I'm getting a glimpse at the sort of life she led. I involuntarily tear up when I come to her message of thanks to me at the very end of the letter.



The regret of a mother who couldn't fulfill her duty... The letter never makes it explicit, but those feelings are definitely imbued in her words. I wonder... is a mother's love represented by her determination to live for her child's sake? That would make love the first thing a child recieves. I'm sure their name comes after. And their name represents their life, so I'm sure Keiko wants to bestow such a meaning onto her own child.

Families work in myriad ways, but Keiko really is attached to the feelings behind one's name. That's why it ended up being her regret. I recall what she said about my name this afternoon. That's the one and only thing, other than my life, that I received from my mother, according to my gran. In which case, she must have also passed on her determination and love when I was born. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pour that same love into another person...

I shake my head to clear the thoughts away before I dive too deeply into them. There's no point in wading through them when none of the answers are there.



As for my regret...

The same applies to this question. The reason I don't know my own regret is because I don't know myself well enough yet. I might be able to take pride in my own life once I learn my regret. But even if I don't make it through... No, scratch that. I know that I want to make it through. Reading Keiko's letter has helped me to finally find the resolve I need.

I don't want to die without having fully understood myself...

Should Keiko be eliminated tonight, I'll mail this letter the very next morning. That'll be my top priority. Once I make that decision, the day begins to wind down.

-----

Cardbook has updated.




I – Name – Shishimai Rinka
III – Name – Federico Carminati
IV – Cause of Death – Fire
VIII – Name – Kamebuchi Keiko
VIII – Cause of Death – Brain Hemorrhage
VIII – Regret – Child's Name
IX – Regret – Gold Medal
XII – Name – Alan Scorpion


I – Name – Shishimai Rinka
VIII – Name – Kamebuchi Keiko
VIII – Cause of Death – Brain Hemorrhage
VIII – Regret – Child's Name
XII – Name – Alan Scorpion