Part 43: Taking One's Place
BGM: Silence
Five or so minutes after he began his search, Shigetsugu found the person he was looking for on his way back home.
BGM: Two Crossing Paths -S/I V/S-
So this is where you went, Yu.
It's hard to run away when you don't have any memories of other places to go.
Shigetsugu referred to Numeral IV as Yu. But that wasn't his real name. It was a name Shigetsugu gave the boy upon their first encounter.
Do you... hate me now?
Of course not.
Why are you okay with getting eliminated? You know you'll die, right? You know that I'll be all alone, right? Is it because we're not a real family?
Even real families aren't guaranteed to stay together forever, I'm afraid.
He cast a solemn gaze up to the night sky as he spoke. Having lost his wife far too soon, Shigetsugu spent his days battling loneliness. Meanwhile, his son got married soon after graduating college and getting hired into a financing company. Shigetsugu got along with his daughter-in-law at first, but things changed when she became pregnant. Perhaps it was more accurate to say that Shigetsugu changed.
Knowing a baby was on the way, both made the decision to move out. Shigetsugu's son was gradually moving up the corporate ladder, so it felt like the right time to go. And that was when Shigetsugu's battle with loneliness reached its zenith. The stress it caused him led to outbursts of violence. His attitude took a drastic turn, and he became stubborn over the most minor of things. He would complain about his daughter-in-law's cooking for no reason. His actions eventually led to their hastened departure from Shigetsugu's home. The loneliness and self-hatred that followed changed him even more.
They did get back in touch years later, but nothing ever came of it. Shigetsugu's issues eventually led him to gambling, which he used as a means to distract himself. This, in turn, led to him wracking up more and more debt to the point that it almost affected his son's family. It was then that they cut all ties with him. Years later, he visited their home, only to find no one was living there. They had just up and vanished. Perhaps they thought the exact same about Shigetsugu, considering how little contact he made with the outside world.
Oh, right... You told me about what happened.
That was all on me, in the end. But you opted to stay with me, even after hearing my story. You may have had nowhere else to go, but it's clear that you weren't hoping to use me for your own interests.
Interests...? I dunno what that means, but sure. I'm staying with you 'cuz I like being with you. I like going to see the horses and boats and all that stuff, too.
Urk...
But the biggest reason is that... you gave me somewhere to belong. Just being here helps keep my mind off my own amnesia.
Over a month has passed since Divine Selection began. Both Shigetsugu and Yu have spent the majority of that time together. To others, their relationship may be fundamentally flawed. To Shigetsugu, however, their relationship was that of a true family.
No matter what the others may think, you are family to me.
Same here! You're my one and only family!
There was no preface to his statement. For Yu, the present took precedence over his lost memories. His words were proof of that.
But it doesn't change the reality that I will die, though. You young'uns may have had your lives cut short by one of fate's pranks, but that isn't true for me. Even if my back hadn't given out that day, I didn't have much time left. That's why the only thing I desired was to spend as much time with you as possible.
It's a simple desire, but one that can't compare to that of the younger people giving it their all to survive.
I dunno what you mean, Shigetsugu... This stuff is too complicated for me!
What I'm saying is that it's up to you to decide how you live your life from here on.
It's up to me...?
Indeed. If you have even the slightest desire to live, then do everything you can to make it through Divine Selection. If you lack that desire, then... I won't stop you.
You can't make me choose like that...
I'm afraid you have no choice. My elimination is a matter of days away.
I don't wanna... I don't wanna lose you...!
Yu was growing more upset as the conversation carried on. Shigetsugu, on the other hand, remained as calm as ever.
Naming you Yu may have been a mistake, when I think about it. I'm not sure if your amnesia had any effect on the outcome, but I never expected a card to form from my doing so. Not knowing the contents of your own cards was your greatest asset, and yet my actions ruined it.
No, they didn't! They made me happy! You gave me a name when I couldn't remember my own!
Ho ho. I'm glad to hear it. In that case, I only have one wish for you. I won't tell you to press on and live if that's not what you want. However, I do want you to understand the joy of providing something for another.
Much like how he had given Yu his name. Not only a name, but also a place to call home.
I'll be able to pass something on that I received from you, too.
Have I given you something? I don't remember doing that...
You have.
I don't get it! I'm trying to understand, but I just... can't.
Work toward understanding it, then. Once you do, you'll be able to share in my joy.
Shigetsugu rested a hand on Yu's head before patting it. His words and actions were cheerful despite the context of their conversation. Meanwhile, Yu was unable to find his answer. He had not accepted his reality. At the same time, that state of mind made him all the more susceptible to what Shigetsugu had to say. So eventually, he came to understand what was about to transpire.
Ushizuka Shigetsugu was going to die. And there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
I happen to overhear their conversation. I don't intend to, but that's no excuse. I don't catch the entire thing, but one important detail doesn't slip by me.
Yu.
The moment Shigetsugu called Numeral IV that, my book began to glow. The resulting card contains nothing but those two letters. I'm glad Alan wasn't nearby when it happened. Things will only get more complicated if any of them learn that I now know his name.
Yu...
I repeat the name to myself. I figured that Shigetsugu had given him a name, but I never expected that name to be the one on his card. This would've been far more difficult to believe if I hadn't had that conversation with Miharu about one's perception of one's name. What did Shigetsugu have in mind when giving him that name, though? Surely there's some meaning behind it.
Doesn't matter. I've somehow ended up with all three of Yu's cards. But I don't have it in me to elect either of them now. If Alan elects Shigetsugu, logic dictates that I elect Yu. I try my best to convince myself that's what I need to do, but it's not that easy.
...
We make our way back to the living room after I meet them at the entrance. Another conversation starts up once we've all gathered, but it dies off pretty fast.
BGM: Town
Apologies for the wait.
I've said my piece already, so it's fine. Give me a room and I'm satisfied.
No need to worry. I'll do just that.
...
Yu still isn't happy about the scenario, but regardless, the conversation is over. Knowing that, I decide to make my way back home, albeit far later than planned.
Numeral XI might have her eye on you, as well.
Y-Yeah...
Although she'll probably target me first. Settling the score tends to take priority for people like her. I'm not the only participant here she'd want to do so with, of course, but there's no need to be concerned. I plan to keep my end of the bargain.
I am so stunned by his apparent concern for me that I struggle to find a way to respond. What is with this guy? First he threatens to kill a baby without hesitation, then he agrees to Shigetsugu's terms that don't entirely benefit him. To top it all off, now he's worrying about my safety.
Goodbye, and thanks for dinner. I don't think I'll ever forget how delicious it was.
Thanks. There's still some left, so go ahead and heat it up when you're hungry.
Allow me to see you off.
We then make our way out of the living room.
You didn't need to leave the house with me. Now I feel bad.
Shigetsugu follows me outside rather than seeing me off at the entrance. It's uncommon for us to be alone together, so I take this chance to clear my doubts.
BGM: A Dot on a Piece of Paper
Can I ask what the plans for Yu are if you get eliminated?
That's quite the naughty habit you have there.
Sorry. I did that on purpose. You gave him that name, didn't you?
I did. He may be a kind child, but he's also a courageous one. The pronounciation of 'Yu' sounds both Japanese and foreign, doesn't it? I must admit that I never expected a card to result from it.
This is speculation on my part, but it seems like each participant's own personal perception holds a sizable influence over their cards.
I see... Allow me to answer your question, though.
I nod my head, urging him to continue.
I have around one-million yen stowed away for him to use as he sees fit.
My first reaction is to look around after recovering from my own shock. I'm worried about any lurking burglars overhearing him, but I guess anyone sneaking into that house is in far more danger than those already inside.
That should be plenty to get him through the remaining two months of Divine Selection. It's not my place to dictate what he does afterwards, but if his memories return, then he should have enough to return home. Assuming he doesn't spend it all first, of course.
How did you... make that much money...?
There are plenty of ways to do so. I gathered up as much as I could find in the house and sold off anything of value, for one.
He mentioned before that his pension and benefits were his only sources of income right now. He talked about being in debt as well, so I could only assume he went through some shady dealings to gather up that amount. Knowing he did it all for Yu's sake made it hard to judge him for it, though.
It was pretty difficult, I tell you. Especially when they froze my bank account and I'd already used up my savings. You saw how messy the house is, no? I turned the place upside-down looking for things to sell, but couldn't find it in me to clean it back up afterwards.
That explains thi-
I slap both hands over my mouth the moment I realize what I am about to say. It might be the truth, but it's still rude to say such a thing out loud.
Oh, don't worry about it. Regardless, there's no need for you to be concerned about him.
He lets out a heartfelt laugh. I can't find the humor in it though, so I just nod.
Well, then. I guess I'll see you again in the dream world.
Yeah... Thanks for everything.
Come, now. I should be the one thanking you.
He shuffles back into his house. That's how it should be. Things are looking good for me right now. Even so, I make my way home with a knot in my heart.
...
BGM: Rinka's Room
Family, huh...? When I get back to my room, my mind drums up images of Shigetsugu and Yu. Shigetsugu talked about the joy of providing something to another. Was I able to do that for Keiko? Was I able to do that for Sonya, even? Shigetsugu's elimination during the next election is all but guaranteed. Was I able to provide something for him, knowing that would happen? I heard him out and made dinner for Yu. There's no need to involve myself with any of the participants further than this, and yet I find myself worried about waking up on Monday, plagued with regret.
Ugh, screw this!
I figure I'm best off acting instead of worrying, so I make my way to my computer.
-----
Cardbook has updated.
I Name Shishimai Rinka
II Name Hebinata Miharu
III Name Federico Carminati
IV Name Yu
IV Cause of Death Fire
IV Regret Mother's Home Cooking
V Name Ushizuka Shigetsugu
V Cause of Death Death from Starvation
V Regret Back when I was Close with Family
VIII Name Kamebuchi Keiko
VIII Cause of Death Brain Hemorrhage
VIII Regret Child's Name
IX Regret Gold Medal
X Name Sofiya Priessnitz Alexeievna
X Regret Seeing the World
XII Name Alan Scorpion
II Name Hebinata Miharu
IV Name Yu
IV Cause of Death Fire
IV Regret Mother's Home Cooking
V Name Ushizuka Shigetseugu
II Name Hebinata Miharu
IV Name Yu
IV Regret Mother's Home Cooking
V Name Ushizuka Shigetseugu
V Cause of Death Death from Starvation
V Regret Back when I was Close with Family