Part 51: How to Say Farewell

_{content warning: suicidal ideation}

BGM: Rain


06/11 (MON), Morning
It's Monday, apparently. And it looks like it's raining.

School... Who cares. Not like I have to go. We've got the day off. As if I care about that.

I see Naomi's smile in my mind's eye. Memories of the coffee we made together here come back to me. As does the sweet taste of the cookies she would bring. I ruined all of that. Smothering myself with my blanket is my way of escaping reality.

I hear someone ringing the door buzzer, but I ignore it. The same goes for my phone. Any movement at all requires more effort than I want to give. I don't care about anything anymore. Divine Selection might as well be over for me. I'll just wait for someone to eliminate me, whether it be this week or next. Miharu won't do it even if I ask her, though. But maybe Alan would...



Riiiiinnyyyyyy!

A familiar voice rises above the sounds of pouring rain. They must be shouting pretty loudly for me to hear them up here. But I don't care...

I close my heart off once more.

You can't just shut yourself in... You gotta say a proper goodbye to her...

I somehow drag myself over to and open the window. A choice that keeps me from attaining true scum status.

…...

BGM: Despair


06/11 (MON), Noon
After I manage that, I force myself to the town's ceremony hall. I'm not quite sure how to approach Naomi's family, but I do manage to at least give them my condolences. Now that I'm here, I realize there's a part of me that can act somewhat naturally, despite everything.

Sniff...

It's probable that I wouldn't have bothered to attend Naomi's funeral if it wasn't for Mao. This is a place to say our farewells. Tears are shed by many. Myself included. It's an... odd experience. I almost feel like there are two sides to me. One side is distraught, and the other feels nothing at all.

The sobs that fill the venue drown out the sound of rain falling. A lot of Amecha students are here. Naomi's classmates, I'd wager. The role she took on for the culture festival must have played a big part, since she enrolled a mere two months ago. In that time, she touched everyone with her sincerity. And yet, at that very same culture festival is where she lost her life.



I'm not even sure if I have the right to cry. She never would have died had I not gotten involved in Divine Selection. She never would have died had I not brought her to Lion House to help her with the culture festival. She never would have died had I not spoken to her that day at the library.

She wouldn't have died.

She wouldn't have died.

She wouldn't have died...

I should've been the one to die.

I'll never be able to get over this regret. I have nowhere to vent my despair. Sad doesn't begin to describe the situation. Not when someone like her dies so young. There's no doubt that everyone here wishes this were all a bad dream. I'm sure none of us have come to terms with reality- that Naomi is no longer a part of our lives. Even I haven't accepted it, despite being a witness to the event itself.



Why did things turn out this way? If this is all due to fate, then there is nothing I despise more.

Naomi... Naomi...

Before I realize it, my two disparate sides merge back into one. I'm unable to hold back any longer- I weep openly in public.

Naorin... Sniff... You're not the only one who's sad, Rinka... None of us can believe she's gone... Sob... Waaah...

Naomi... Waahhh...!

Rinka, I...



Naomi's funeral ends in the blink of an eye. Lacking the will to eat, I dive right back into bed when I get home.

…...

BGM: Rain


06/12 (TUE), Morning
I'm not sure when I fell asleep or what time I woke up. A distinct emptiness assaults me as soon as I do wake up, though. I dreamt of all the times I spent with Naomi. None of that means anything now. They're just past events. In this moment, I truly understand how it feels to have regrets that are lodged in the past.

Things are moving along at the school. They're finally going to carry out investigations under the assumption that it was a terrorist attack. As such, it'll be closed for another week. That's perfect for me, considering it takes all my energy just to get out of bed. Under normal circumstances, I would've relied on my gran here, but it just so happens that the person she's taking care of collapsed on Saturday night. She's busy helping them.



I need to deal with this on my own...

Another day passes by. Another day of me doing absolutely nothing.

…...

BGM: Miharu


06/12 (TUE), Noon
Mishima Miharu's course of action in the face of recent events is a stark contrast to that of Shishimai Rinka's. The despair displayed on Rinka's part has only served to fuel Miharu's determination. She may have found Naomi unpleasant, but at no point did she wish for things to play out as they did.

I'll do everything I can for her.

While the high school portion of Amecha may be closed, the middle school and university campuses are operating like normal. This allows Miharu to make use of the library. Right now, her priority is to put everything into perspective. In this regard, Numeral IV is of the utmost priority. Miharu is aware of his real name- Yu. She overheard Rinka muttering it to herself before. She is also aware that he is the one responsible for Naomi's death, having planted bombs in that classroom. For whatever reason, he seems desperate for Rinka to kill him, too.



I'm honestly not too sure about what's going on... I may not have been close with her, but Naomi's death is taking its toll on me, as well.

Today is the first day she truly begins to take Divine Selection seriously.

As much as it pains me to admit, I'm incapable of bringing Rinka's smile back on my own.

Miharu has no grasp whatsoever on Yu's background. Even so, she makes the decision to perform as much research as possible. Her claim that she would give her life for Rinka is no lie. She has no intention of it ever becoming a lie. If she has ever been sure about anything in her life, it is that. Should her actions fail to protect Rinka's smile, there is no point in taking them.

Heh... I suppose I have you to thank for allowing me to realize something important, Naomi.

Miharu has very few cards pertaining to participants other than Rinka in her possession. While she may possess a keen intellect, she is but a mere high school student. Without a reliable source, all she can do is rely on newspapers, books, and the Internet.

Numeral IV- Name. Yu.

Numeral IX – Cause of Death. This is the man who spoke for the first time during the sixth election.

Numeral XII – Name. Alan.



And finally, Numeral XII- Cause of Death.

This is all the information she has pertaining to participants other than Rinka and herself. While she does have an idea regarding Numeral XI's regret, she has been unable to obtain a card out of it thus far. Of the remaining participants, Alan seems the ideal target, considering he's already eliminated three others. The only issue is that his regret remains a mystery to her, plus the fact that she's yet to meet him face to face.

That said, researching him is easier than the others, comparatively, due to his celebrity status. He's been featured in several magazine interviews and TV shows. Apparently he's from an area in southern India where English is the primary language. In that case, all she has to do is look up and translate any words or phrases she doesn't understand.

I'm curious about Yu, but there are too many unknown factors surrounding him right now.

Having found her priorities, Miharu begins her research. Determined as she may be, she cannot afford to lose sight of the bigger picture. And thus begins Miharu's quest for information.

…...

BGM: A Dot on a Piece of Paper


06/12 (TUE), Evening
On her way off campus, Miharu notices the silhouette of an unfamiliar man. She errs on the side of caution and takes a different route in order to keep her distance from him.

Hey there, how ya doin'?

He opts to call out to her anyway. Miharu doesn't respond. Instead, she allows him to approach while staying on guard. As she does, she finally recognizes him.

It's Numeral IX.