Part 56: Drops of Rain

BGM: Rain


06/15 (FRI), Noon
Friday already...

I mutter to myself. I never accepted my gran's offer in the end. Not because I figure I'll be fine on my own. I just lack the motivation and energy to pack and travel the distance required. I probably would've gone if someone packed for me and she came to pick me up.

I might just be a shell of a human at this point.

*bing bong*

And then the front buzzer rings. I ignore it.

*bing bong*

It rings again. I ignore it again.

*bing bong*



But it doesn't stop ringing... It annoys me to the point where I actually go and answer it.

Cut it out alre-

Rinny!

The sheer volume of the voice from beyond the speaker causes my body to jolt backward. That, in turn, causes me to miss the ideal opportunity to cut them short. The person on the other end takes that as their chance.

Rinny! Open up, Rinny!

I'm not sure why Mao's here, but I'm not in the mood to see her. But at the same time, I just don't have it in me to ignore her. I guess a part of me figures she's here to cheer me up.

…...

BGM: Lion House Cafe


Been a while, Rinny! You sure aren't dressed to impress, huh?

Mao gives her honest opinion on my current state. I know she's right, too. My hair's a mess and I'm wearing pajamas. I've at least been taking baths and brushing my teeth, so I shouldn't look like complete filth.

Somehow it feels way longer than four days since we last saw each other. I don't think we've ever been apart for this long before. It's been a while since I was last at Lion House, too. I think the last time was just before Golden Week, when I came with Nao-



Oh! Uh, did you watch that show yesterday?! Honestly wasn't expecting those two to kiss!

There's no need to beat around the bush. I know you're hurting as much as I am. More importantly, why are you even here?

Heehee... Can't keep any secrets around you, can I? Ain't it obvious? I just wanted to see you! I got worried because you kept ignoring my calls and stuff... I felt like I was about to lose you, too...

Mao... Let me get you some coffee. Are you fine with cafe au lait?

I think I'll go with some proper coffee today. But, um, make sure there's plenty of milk and sugar in it.

I tie my hair up before heading into the kitchen. Mao's thoughts and feelings about coming here are clear just by the look on her face. I may not have the energy or motivation, but that's irrelevant when I'm in the kitchen. You're a pro the moment you enter the kitchen. My gran's words have stuck with me, even now. Now that I think about it, I haven't made any coffee for a few days. It's not that long, really, but I don't think I've ever gone this amount of time without brewing anything. I doubt I've gotten any worse. No matter what condition I'm in, my body remembers what to do.



Here you go.

Oooh, smells nice. Ah, I see you've re-engaged mess mode by untying your hair again.

Mao may seem to be acting normally, but I can tell she's only about as half as lively as she usually is.

Blech. Bitter...

One tiny sip is all it takes for her to grimace from the taste. She wastes no time in dumping four more sugars and extra milk into the cup after that. Not a moment of hesitation at all... Well, that's fine by me. I'm not particularly fussy about how people prefer their coffee. Lion House is meant to be a second home to its customers. Why do something here that you don't like doing at home?

BGM: Rain
Sure is pouring outside, huh?

Both of us quietly count raindrops as we drink our coffee. Time passes by slowly, as though in contrast to the tempo of the rain. The droplets clinging to tree leaves accentuate their beautiful green color.



It's kinda funny how the rain will stop every now and then, but I can't stop crying over what happened.

Her voice is almost hushed enough to be drowned out by the rain. She is right, though. I've spent every day in tears. And there seems to be no end to them.

Is there a reason you're blaming yourself for what happened?



Huh...? How did you...?

I want to ask how Mao knows. After all, the only other person I talked to about Yu was Miharu. Regardless, I offer a simple explanation of the facts. Mao shouldn't know anything about Divine Selection, let alone the fact that Naomi got caught up in it.

I know you just as well as you know me. You might've been there when it happened, but that doesn't mean it's your fault. There's no reason to blame yourself for not being able to save her.



The only person at fault is the culprit. You don't need to beat yourself up. The grief you feel over losing her is enough.

It wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taught her how to brew coffee. It's my fault for making her go through with her class's plans for the culture festival. If I hadn't spoke to her that day in the library... She might still be alive if she never met me...

This is what I've been telling myself over and over again. Doing so has become part of my daily routine.

BGM: The Memory Remains


Don't say that, Rinny... Not after all the time we spent together. Me, you, Miharun... and Naorin. Whether we were chatting here or going to a theme park, I honestly had so much fun when we were together. You're just smearing the memories we made together by saying that. I don't want that. Not when I treasure them so much.



I just wish we could've spent more time together... We even made plans to go somewhere after the culture festival... That's why you should let yourself grieve instead of blaming yourself. Don't be upset that you couldn't save her. Be upset that you can't spend more time with her.



My memories with Naomi...

Those memories aren't just mine. Like Mao said, those are memories we all treasure.

As I said earlier, a part of me felt like I was about to lose you, too. I couldn't handle that. I don't want to see you fall deeper into this hole you've dug for yourself. It's not something you can get over easily... I know that because I'm in the same hole! But even then... We gotta climb out! We've still got our lives ahead of us!

We're still alive. We still have our futures ahead of us. I still have the potential to achieve something, despite all that's happened. No one knows what the future holds in store for us.

I won't tell you to cheer up. But at the very least, I want you to realize you don't need to go through this alone. We can move forward together, even if we cry along the way.



Mao... Sorry... I can't hold it in any longer...

Neither of us can. We both cry our hearts out. Mao's crying face is all I see for a good while. Just because we're together doesn't make me any less sad. We can't share our pain. What happened pains each of us equally. Still... At the very least, we can weep over what we lost together.

…...

BGM: Rinka's Room


06/15 (FRI), Night
Night has fallen by the time we settle back down. Surprisingly enough, it's also stopped raining. That's pretty rare this time of season.

Oh, yeah. Did you know that school's back in session next week?

Oh, really?

Check your messages. There's probably one from the school in there somewhere. Anyway, no skipping class once next week rolls around. Agreed?

I know. I'll see you next week.

Yup! Catch you later!

I head back to my room after seeing Mao off.

BGM: Silence


Wanting to test something, I flip open my card book.

Figures. I can't believe I was stupid enough to let this slip past me...

Light spews forth from it, which eventually takes the form of a new card. The contents are simple:

My regret.

BGM: Rinka


It is none other than my regular life.

It may seem trite, but it represents what the future holds for me. I always figured I had no regret to speak of. But even then, I wanted to live. It takes me a while, but I finally figure out the answer that lays behind the contradiction. The lack of an answer in regards to my regret is, in itself, the answer I have been seeking.

I just want to spend more time with everyone. I want to be someone who is cherished by everyone, like my gran. I want to fall in love, just like the characters in the shoujo manga I read. I want to watch a movie that really tugs at my heartstrings. I want to get better at making coffee. I want to make food worth serving here. I want to go to college. I want to grow old enough to drink. … So many desires. ...So many wishes. ...So many possibilities. There's still so much I want to do. Things I haven't even realized yet.



My regret is tied to the idea of what awaits me in life. Who I'll become, what I'll achieve, all of that. Thinking and worrying about that while marching forward is, to me, an integral part of my daily life. And that's not something I'll abandon so easily. I press the new card against my chest as I think that.

I never expected Mao of all people to be the one to console me.

I can't even stifle my laughter. It's the first time in a while I've been able to laugh. My actions from here on out are tied to my future. I'm the only one with the ability to achieve the limitless potential that awaits me. Who else could do that besides me? There's just one thing, though. One thing I have to achieve immediately.

I'm going to bring Naomi back.

I throw my fist up toward the ceiling. Mao said it's fine for me to grieve, but I don't have that luxury. Nor do I have the luxury to sit around and blame myself. I'm currently balancing on the boundary of fate itself. Now is the time to face forward and act. I need to eliminate Yu. Not because of what he said. This is entirely of my own will.



I'll take my life back with my own hands.

Wait for me, Naomi...

Is my life worth casting aside the lives of others for? I still don't know that answer. But I know that I'm the one who will shape my own future.

…...

BGM: Rinka's Room


Electing Yu is a must. His elimination should undo Naomi's death. His entire attack on the school should be undone, at that. As much as I don't want to remember the scene, his decision to kill me with his own hands may have been for the sake of leaving that possibility open to me. Had the explosion or fire been her cause of death, things may have been tweaked so that she ended up dying in an accident or something similar. He's made thorough preparations for me to kill him.

The only issue is that I only have his name and cause of death, since his regret card disappeared. I can't just eliminate him and leave it at that, either. What secrets are hidden within the memories he regained? Why is he so desperate for me to elect him? Only after I learn more about him do I plan to eliminate him. Not so I can sympathize with him like I have until now. He's the person responsible for taking Naomi's life. That fact won't change, no matter what.

*bing bong!*

BGM: Silence
Just then, the buzzer goes off again. We don't get customers around this time, so Mao must've left something here. Little do I know what is in store for me when I push the button for the speaker.

Yo. Doing good business here, are we?

If only it would've been Mao. Instead, it's Numeral XI.

[END OF WEEK SEVEN (PART A): SORROWFUL RAIN]

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Cardbook has updated.




I – Name – Shishimai Rinka
I – Cause of Death – Death by Asphyxiation
I – Regret – Daily Routine
II – Name – Hebinata Miharu
III – Name – Federico Carminati
IV – Name – Yu
IV – Cause of Death – Fire
V – Name – Ushizuka Shigetsugu
V – Cause of Death – Death from Starvation
V – Regret – Back when I was Close with Family
VIII – Name – Kamebuchi Keiko
VIII – Cause of Death – Brain Hemorrhage
VIII – Regret – Child's Name
IX – Regret – Gold Medal
X – Name – Sofiya Priessnitz Alexeievna
X – Regret – Seeing the World
XII – Name – Alan Scorpion


I – Name – Shishimai Rinka
I – Cause of Death – Death by Asphyxiation
I – Regret – Daily Routine
II – Name – Hebinata Miharu
III – Name – Federico Carminati
IV – Name – Yu
IV – Cause of Death – Fire
IX – Name – Scale Jones
X – Name – Sofiya Priessnitz Alexeievna
X – Cause of Death – Death from Sickness
X – Regret – Seeing the World
XI – Name – Odette Malencon
XII – Name – Alan Scorpion