Part 24: Page 24: Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.

Page 24: Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.


Chocobo Village

So hey, we beat the game. So why are we back? Well, after we beat Bebuzzu, we get a few more things to do. First off, Wakaba has something to tell us.

I saw it! I weally did! Some wady was swinging a whip at some jaiwbiwds! She was so mean and scawy! I think I'm fowgetting someding...

Now, if we hadn't defeated Bebuzzu, that's where this would end. But because we already beat him, Wakaba continues.

Dat's wight! She wasn't whipping dem! She was actuawwy twying to help dem! Cuz dewe wewe some nasty kiwwer bees going aftew dem!



Unfortunately, we have to help Irma out.

Den let's get stawted!



Move de Chocobo
Rodeo Roundup

This game? Not really that terrible. You control with the stylus, which comes with the typical host of problems, but the game itself isn't made any harder by that. See, the thing is, the Jailbirds all follow a waveform pattern - some come from the left, some from the right. They also have three different speeds, the usual fast-medium-slow.

Now, the way to earn points is circling the jailbirds while avoiding the bees. You get n² points, where n is the amount of jailbirds you circled. So, it's better to get one chunk of 8 jailbirds than four chunks of two jailbirds. The problem with this comes into the fact that those fucking bees keep spawning, and if you catch one it nulls out all of the jailbird points. Naturally, they love to jump into circles with a ton of jailbirds. Anyway, not really that bad.



676 points. It's a good number.

Where'd you wearn to use a whip wike dat? Hewe's a pwize fow ya!



You musta been a weal cowboy in a past wife or someding! Dis is my tweasure!

Should...should I touch 'cowboy in a past wife'? I'm not really sure.



Next up, we have to go chat with Sweenie.



I was shaking in my booties so much that I can't remember a thing... Somebody opened it, right?

That would be where she stopped. But...

Wait a minute! Now I remember! That scary old book...



No, I really don't. But let's go ahead anyway. You have two cards with my name on them.

Alright, then.. It was just like this...



Move de Chocobo
Tomb Raider

This game's pretty simple. It's the Unlocking Bebuzzu game from the very beginning of the game, so there's nothing new to talk about.



Fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuck. This game is harder than it should be. The overall game isn't hard, naturally; the problem comes that you only have 90 seconds to get 20 points. If you get a bunch of long treks across the sliding puzzle, you're screwed.

Gee-zooey! That was some fast work! It gave me that weird, tingly feeling... Like when Croma slipped the espresso into our chocobo feed last week.

Caffeine is a chocobo aphrodisiac. Who knew.



That was amazing, Boco! I guess Bebuzzu's not so scary after all.

That's right... why ARE we unlocking Bebuzzu again?



Anyway, that's everything from these two. Our next stop is Gazzy, down and right a screen. (S)He's the one standing by that billboard that has all the chocobos on it.


Chocobo Village

Case in point.

Amazing! Bewildering! Cunning! Daring! Excellent! Fabulous! Gumptious! Heroic! You rescued EVERYBODY! I...I'm so touched...(snurk) Look at me, I'm in tears here! (sniffle) Boco, I believe in you! I know that you'll eventually--no, definitely defeat that evil Bebuzzu!

We already have, but you can get this any time after you saved everybody.

Speaking of annoyances, Mog--I mean, Dueler X--was looking for you earlier. I think he has a present for you! Whatever it is, I hope it's not contagious!



Whatcha want, guy?

Thanks to the great deeds of you, my most beloved pupil, my fame as a most excellent teacher has also spread wide and far! Sales for Dueler X action figures and comic books are seeing a sharp rise in all sectors! I'll give you a cut of the profit!



Nifty. That's actually a really good card.


Mt. Gulg

Our first stop is the Behemoth. We actually have to go re-fight every miniboss and crystal card game. For those wondering, this is the 'fun' part of the 'fun/shit' ratio mentioned last update. So let's get to it!

Boco, your grit and gumption shame my own! Excelsior! Might you fancy another duel--on friendly terms, naturally?


Battle Theme
Boco vs. Behemoth Round 2

Hell yeah. Why wouldn't we be up for it? Anyway, Behemoth has 10 extra health from the last time we fought him, placing him on par with us. This is a trend that will be continuing.



There's nothing more satisfying than dealing 18 damage in one shot. So amazing.


Crystal Room

Now, our second of two stops in the Fire Realm is the crystal. You might notice something different about it - after beating Bebuzzu, all the crystals regain their light.



So we get to fight the fire form of Bebuzzu again. That would be the Phoenix form, right?


The Decisive Battle
Boco vs. Phoenix Bebuzzu Round 2

So yeah, that guy on the right is Typhon. There's one of him for each card, and each Bebuzzu has one. I don't use him because I prefer to use more eclectic decks, while Typhon rewards specializing in one color.



But win we did, and win we shall. One of four down.


Legend of the Deep Forest

Next up is our old pal Golem. He attacked us on Irma's orders - come to think of it, all the subbosses did.

You challenge me to duel?

Golem's a little more direct than the Behemoth.


Battle Theme
Boco vs. Golem Round 2

You might notice he has 25 health. This is just the tip of the bullshit iceburg.



Awwwww yeah. We're the best.



Next up is the crystal, which means I have to look at that weird child...thing...again.


The Decisive Battle
Boco vs Unicorn??? Bebuzzu Round 2

I can usually beat the area's halfway-antagonist with the area's previous deck, but for the crystal boss, I usually have to restructure my card deck so that I have more guarding that color and attacking the weakspots. This trend continues, though I keep Tonberry because he's such a cool dude.



In other news, the card game videos will be getting longer and longer, mainly due to the fact that it takes just so long to chew through the increased amount of health.


Beneath the Horizon

Howzabout another showdown, li'l pardner--errr--dude?

Sahagin is still an asshole, by the way. Dude just doesn't learn.


Battle Theme
Boco vs Sahagin Round 2

Killing dudes with Omega Weapon will never get old, though. Never.





The Water crystal gave me quite a bit of trouble, for some reason.


The Decisive Battle
Boco vs Leviathan Bebuzzu Round 2

Namely, this fucking Cait Sith card. It's Marvelous Cheer+; a card with only a yellow attack. Its attack is a three-yellow crystal ability, and it deals 2 damage per crystal in my stock. Now, these crystals go up to 10. Do the math, and Cait Sith can do up to 20 damage. Now, that happened to me. Twice. God damn it.



Get out. That guy was a pain in the ass.


Mako Reactor

Really, these guys aren't hard. The only trick is to knowing what cards are coming up next and hoping you have the means to counter it.


Battle Theme
Boco vs Iron Giant Round 2

By this point, they have so much health their decks (and mine) start looping again. It's interesting; your deck follows a pattern too. It just randomizes every time you start the duel.


Mako Reactor

We've defeated all four dudes in the miniboss squad, so now we're being addressed by God.

???: Well done, Boco! You've defeated the four pop-up duelists and proven yourself worthy! As a reward, I bestow upon you this card. May it lead you to future victories!



Neat. Never use it.



Here it is, the final card game.


The Decisive Battle
Boco vs Bebuzzu Core Round 2

True to form, this is the hardest fight in the game. You know why? He has twice the health we do. That means that we have to deal two damage to his one, and do it faster. You see how close that match is? I only won because I got lucky with Adamantoise and his ability to deal damage when he blocks a grey card. Which is what the Odin card is.

Yes, this did take about twenty tries.



But we are ultimately victorious.


Mako Reactor

Are you there, God? It's me, Boco.

???: Well done, Boco! You've defeated Bebuzzu four times and proven yourself exceptional! As a reward, I bestow upon you this card. May it lead you to future victories!



Karma+ is a good card. It does 10 damage - the only drawback is that you have to be at 1 health. Kinda hard to pull off, but when it works you do an equal amount of damage as Omega Weapon.



At eleven hours, forty-nine minutes, and forty-four seconds, every book challenge completed, every card collected, and every opponent defeated, we are now, officially...

The King of Games.

_{you have no idea how long I waited for that joke.}

Anyway, here we are at the end of the road. It's been a long time (not helped by that month-long hiatus I went on because I couldn't take playing this game for the entire month of January) but we're finally finished. I may have gone insane at some point, but those amazing card games helped me out.



You know what?



This guy's okay. He's a pretty cute bird.