Part 4: In which the Warriors do not get knocked down.

Chapter 3: In which the Warriors do not get knocked down.


Bone. Original name: Skeleton. HP: 10. EXP: 9. Gold: 3. Damage: 10-20. Weak: Fire, Harm. Strong: Bane, Break, Rub, Sleep, Stun.


HELL YEAH.


78 HP. Guess who's tanking now.


GrWolf. Original name: Warg Wolf. HP: 72. EXP: 93. Gold: 22. Damage: 14-28. Weak: None. Strong: None.
: Fucking weak. I can hit so hard now the princess will be unable to resist my advances.
: You. Sick. Fuck.


Heading back to town, time to recharge and pick up new spells.


The other spells aren't worthwhile at all. Lock will always miss. Fog doesn't raise absorb fast enough to compete with ruse, which after 3 casts will make any character virtually unhittable. Harm is simply the equivalent of curing undead enemies, but red mages can't use it.


Madpony. Original Name: Crazy Horse. HP: 64. EXP: 63. Gold: 15. Damage: 10-20. Weak: None. Strong: None.


: Hey guys, guess who just made dinner! DELICOUS!


Zombie. Original name: Zombie. HP: 20. EXP: 24. Gold: 12. Damage: 10-20. Weak: Fire, Harm. Strong: Quake, Bane, Rub, Ice


: YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
: Shut. Up.
:


: There is only one room left! The princess shall be mine!


: Who's...that....guy in women's armor? Purple? Get a fashion sense, dude!




This line is so epic that in the remakes, while they sported different localizations, they kept this line. The original Japanese line isn't much better: "The Princess is mine! I won't hand her over to anybody! You are the Light Warriors, you say. Pretentious fools! I, Garland, will kick you around!" Yes, they have a verb for kicking around.


: Oh no, it's Garland!
: We're finally here, the moment we've all been waiting for.
: Prepare yourself.
: I'm counting on you guys.


: That's....it?
: Did he just trip himself onto his sword? Jesus fuck.
It literally took two turns, sorry for missing the screens. Wen't quicker than expected, even for level 4.


: What a fucking disappointment.
: No kidding.
Garland. Original name: Garland. HP: 106. EXP: 130. Gold: 250. Weak: None. Strong: None.


: Hello bats, we won a boss battle, ain't it delicious?!


: I'll be your Light Warrior, in BED BABY!
: Urge. To kill. Rising.


So, we made it back here again. I guess I have to talk to these fools.


: So wait. They wouldn't fund us to rescue his daughter, but now he BUILDS A BRIDGE to get us off the island? This kingdom sucks.
: Maybe I can sell this......
: So hey, we got instantly teleported here. Can I bang her now?
: You can do what now? GET OUT OF MY KINGDOM.
: Awwww, fuck.


: What a fucking country of dumb shits. Let's get the fuck out.