Part 31: Part Thirty-One: Explorers of the New World

Part Thirty-One: Explorers of the New World


Well, the entire quest may be FUBAR, but at least we have our skyboat back.


Now we can explore the world and see such exotic locales as this lakeside village we can't reach.


And this continent!



...Which we can't reach. If you try and fly in there, you just get pushed back.


Little place on an island, though?


Yeah, we can get in there. This is Duster, a village dedicated to Geomancers and Bards.


This is interesting, because it sounds like airships aren't quite as unique as they were up on the floating continent.


You never really "master" geomancy. There's never any change in how it works, or anything.


This is the continent we visited earlier, and where we're supposed to go, based on the crone's advice.


File this away under "shit that's not really useful". He's talking about a weapon type for Dark Knights, but it's not a special thing like this sort of implies.


Over here: a bard.

Talking to bards does this annoying thing where it plays a little riff before the actual text box comes up.


We met Bahamut before, and he was a real problem. We'll probably not be his "champion before to fall" for a long time.


You can only just see this bard hiding in the trees.


Every bard plays the same little song, by the way.


Fuck you, buddy.


Aw yeah, two more bards.


Every time. I kept thinking the game was freezing.




This is a sixth-grade poetry retelling of the flood of light and dark warriors story.


If you're wondering, I took a shot of every pause, just for completion purposes.


This is a...hint for a future sidequest. Let's go with that, anyway.


Another fucker. This guy just pauses and then plays the "item get" sound.

(This one:
)


If you've played other Final Fantasy games, a few things here are probably sounding familiar.


I think it's neat that some of the towns in this game are associated with jobs. It's cooler than just having most every place be totally generic. Some of the jobs get stretched a little thin, though.


Here's the weapon shop. If you're using a Bard, you need every harp you can get for songs, which requires a pretty hefty layout.


Armour shop. Nothing really interesting here, armour is generally pretty inert in this game.


But! We have the chance to sell of these swords.


They are literally useless other than getting you 27.5 grand, but I'm sure some people still keep them around just because they're an item.


Now we're leaving Duster and going to the next super cool place. Are you ready?


It's a fuckin' cave!


Nah, I'm just messin'. We've got other places to hit.


Like this cave!


Or this village!


To get to that village, you actually have to land in the sea and go round the other way. The Enterprise won't land on the river.


Spoiler: this trip isn't really good for anything.





Using Evoker.

If you're wondering what happened here, this dude cast his spell, and then a chocobo appeared. It seems this was not the desired result. I can tell by this man's attire that he is an Evoker, which is a terrible job class.


Then the 'bo squawks at you and fucks off.


This is some optional backstory. It's not really vital, but it's kind of neat, I guess?


Well, he did a shit poor job, because Bahamut nearly killed us.


We, uh, can't do anything with this right now, and it will be explained to us again when we actually can use it, so I don't know why this guy exists.


Straight-up game mechanics chat. Strength of ability is not the major difference between the two classes though, or why Evoker is so awful and Summoner is so bangin'.


I wouldn't have expected that, honestly.


In case you haven't clued in yet, this is the village of Evokers, who use Summon magic, which we can buy here. One day I'll probably buy all of these spells, but right now, they'd just be chaff, so fuck 'em.


Ooh, monsters! (These aren't actually in Replito, I've left by now.)


Sorcerors are annoying and can cast second-tier elemental spells on you that'll really shit up your day. Bosses at this point are still using these spells, and for similar damage. This is also part of what makes a boss like Goldor look like even more of a piece of shit: random encounters are about as dangerous as him, damage-wise. Bosses will move up again soon, but then they'll sort of cap out and the party will start to move ahead faster than enemies again.


I have nothing to say about Hellgaroo Mages. They die fairly quickly.


Well, everything dies quickly with damage like this.


EXP gains: ehh, okay.


The fuck is that thing?


A Needle Monkey?


Fuck that, fuck you.


Our last thing to check out today: a castle.


Castle with a big walled-in courtyard.



Big fuckin' courtyard. Look, someone's even living in there. Get outta the courtyard, you weirdos.


There's the gate.


I told you we're just looking, right?


Oh, okay, I'll go check it out.


You can't get in.


I'm outta here. See you later, weird courtyard dwellers.


Just gonna fly past the castle to fuck with everyone.


Haha, I hope you were sleeping, jerks. I hope you were sleeping and my noisy skyboat woke you all up and you're mad as heck.


Whoa, hey, not that mad, come on.



Everything's exploding now and the kids are all freaking out. I will be so pissed if my transportation is ruined and I have to do a whole bunch more shit to get another airship.


Suddenly, Sephy stops to think about something.





Then it's back to our regularly scheduled freakout.


Hey, I went down over bricks. Where's the continuity, guys?



: Obviously, a cannon shell disabled our engine. But...I do not know why they would fire at us.

Sometimes, when you wake someone up with aircraft like a shithead, they will blow your aircraft up. That's just the law of nature.

: The Enterprise is in pieces... What are we going to do now?

Uh, glue it back together or whatever, because I'm not fuckin' rowing the canoe to the Dalg continent.


Look, jokes aside, if there's one thing I want you to take from this LP, it's that having as many camera angles as possible is the way to make a great game.


Golbez, I appreciate that you were raised by the king or whatever, but come the fuck on, you don't know shit about a war. I mean, there were sixty people total on the floating continent. Even if they were all trying to kill each other, that's not a war.


Next time: I show Golbez the horrors of war when I kill every living thing in this place for revenge.