Final Fantasy III Part #2 - To the beginning of the Fire Cave.

Part 2: To the beginning of the Fire Cave.

Chapter 2 - To the beginning of the Fire Cave.

The first step to any game is to make sure you select the proper save that you were originally playing. Since this is the only save, if you select something else, you're pretty retarded.

Last we stopped outside of that cave of wonderful and mysterious things.

Should check out this town, huh?

That's one hell of a name. Nowhere near am I going to make fun of something simply as awesome as Ur.

Aw fuck. Means he's expecting us.

Yes, he "sensed" something. I'm calling bullshit. Just because you look old, wear a robe, and have white hair doesn't mean you have some sixth sense that tells you "something" happened to us. Stop talking out of your ass. I'm nominating you for the biggest douchebag of the universe.

This town is nice, because they have free heals here. For the record, it doesn't cure status ailments. Still got to use items for that.

Almost every town has one of these. Revives the dead. Thank god, because Phoenix Downs are motherfucking hard to come by.

Here be Topapa. He's one of the people you mail in the incredibly flawed Mognet system for the DS version. He's kind of a nice guy.

It's always sealing it. Why the fuck can't we just destroy the power of darkness? Did that thought ever occur to you?

If this were a hentai game, I'm sure Nina would be an available girl to date/screw/what have you, since she's not actually their real mother. Now that I've mentioned that, let's never speak of it again.

In the middle of town, things are bustling with activity, as you can see...

Sweet! Wait, monsters?

Walking there finds...

That there are indeed monsters in a town. God damn.

We get there until...

Fucking werewolves.

Indeed! And why the hell are you here anyways?

Well, he was right.

Ah, lots of items to grab. The first being a leather vest, a cure spell, some potions,

And a motherfucking Long Sword.

McFly is getting in on this shit.

It's time to explain the most important game mechanic to the game: the job system. If you've played FF5, it's like that, but not as complex.

Essentially, you can choose whatever job you want, provided you have enough capacity points for the job you want. The DS version got rid of capacity and replaced it with Crystal Sickness, essentially a stat-lowering ailment that goes away after a pre-determined amount of battles.

You also have to unequip before hand.

Hell yeah, I'm pressing A.

McFly is a motherfucking Fighter.

Let's select Dark Id's job, for now.

He'll be a monk. Essentially, he'll kick hands with his fist, unless he's got some nunchucks. The Dark Id, if you want something else, I will happily comply.

Hey, where have we seen that sprite?

Like every Final Fantasy, you find potions scattered everywhere.

Well, McFly and Dark Id look pretty awesome in battle, but we need to get Tacos and Virgin set up as well.

Tacos will be a Red Wizard for now. Kyrosiris wanted me to do it; I was going to do it anyways. I'm very traditional when it comes to my party setup - the strongest stays at the top, while I stick the black wizard...

At the very bottom. Also, considering that people who are obsessed with black wizards usually are virgins themselves, I have to say it's a perfect fit.

Let's buy some armor.

And some weaponry while we're at it.

I forgot to mention. Shields absolutely blow in this game, for the most part. Why? Because every character can equip two weapons in their hand. The best defense is a good offense.

I walked through the trees you dumb bitch.

She was right. There are indeed potions down here. This is also a spot where that blacksmith appears in the DS version.

I think it's time we leave town for now.

Well, my party sure looks cool.

Time to explore magic. Here's what the magic list looks like. Since Tacos is a Red Mage, he doesn't have as much magic as other characters.

To set magic, go to items, select the magic you want, and give it to whichever character you desire.

Taa-daa!

Here's a new town.

Kazus. What's with the music? It's like something is... strange.

lol

Apparently McFly decided to do a demonstration of what Parkinson's Disease really looks like and scared the commoner off.

Oh, maybe not.

This town has been cursed by Jinn. And to kill him, we need to seal him with a ring. Neat!

Hey, we've already met Cid. FF2 set the precedent, now we see him again.

Well, I can't say I disagree with that.

This house should be familiar for those of you playing the DS version.

Mithril Mines exist within this town. There's a few nice items at the end, but instead of 3 enemies, I'll get hit with about 8 enemies at a time. Not cool.

Let's see what we have here...

Whoaa

Hey check this out.

Now THIS I like.

Sweet, an airship! Let's get the fuck out of...

Oh, this can't fly over mountains and there's a goddamn boulder blocking the way.

Heading back to Kazus, I'll pick up a few items I missed.

Excellent.

Hey what have we here.

Let's DO IT!

On second thought, no. Let's bug the people at the castle.

More strange music. Mysterious happenings!

Well, if I were you, I'd do absolutely nothing, but shit man! You're doing a mighty fine job of that right now!

These people are funny too.

Fake walls. You see them a lot in this game.

See?

I picked up ice. Let's make Virgin not so useless anymore.

There we are.

Sweet. Tonfas, for ass kicking with DarkId.

King Sasoon. He goes on to talk about how his daughter Sara escaped to save the people. He also said that if we save her, we can all head to Kazus with her and invite the town to have a mass bukkake session. It actually occurs in most video games in Japan, it's just a feature that gets lost in translation when it comes to America.