Part 7: Nepto Shrine and Chocobo running.

Chapter 7 - Nepto Shrine and Chocobo running.

I went against myself, and made that video being killed by Nepto. Here's my reasoning why:

I've heard a lot of complaints about this game. I've even heard "Man, fuck Nepto. Fuck that level where you have to cast mini on yourself. I got all the way to Nepto and he killed me. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BEAT HIM!? I haven't saved since before the path to the summit! Fuck this game."

My response: Go cry about it.

I love this game. It's brutal. You can't take it, it eats you alive. Simply talking to the vikings would have told you that this thing destroys everything and that the palace above it was the source of the problems. Ever think to go there? Jesus, you really shouldn't be playing this game.

Then again, you're probably watching this thread because of those issues, hence I'm more than likely pissing off half my reader base! Ha!

Anyways...


Meet the head Viking. I was a Viking in college once, for the year I actually went to an accredited university. Of course, our school was 2-A, and never nationally televised. Our school cared jack shit about sports.


Right-o! And we won't have to steal it!


Well then...


I'm sure many of you are aching now.




Precisely! Before we do that, let's remember that Desh from the beast forums posted that weapons and armor blow when you're miniature. Let's change that.


3 Black Wizards and a White Wizard. We'll do it all with magic. Sadly, this is the high point of black magic in this game. It's all downhill for that stuff after this.


A quick spell of mini and...


We be rollin.'




We fight these guys with magic. And only magic.


When McFly finishes this and goes back to being a normal human fighter, he'll appreciate these for some reason.


Oh, this too. It's effective against water enemies.


Well, this dungeon isn't particularly long, so...


Desh is orgasming right now.




Big Rat has got to be the least specific name for a boss fight ever. I'm gonna take him down.


I'm not even fucking kidding here.


We put this shit to good use.


See what I mean?


A quick spell of bolt and he's a goner. He nearly killed Tacos. Thank god he didn't. I wasn't about to have another character desynced for experience.


Virgin leveled up from the fight too!


Plot item right hurr.


doo-dee-doo


lah-dee-dah


Well, we're out.

That was really easy, actually.

Anyone that complains about that being hard - you're a fucking pussy.


Nevertheless, time to become normal again.


Well then!


I never thought to realize that the eye might have been pretty big to carry for these warriors when they were tiny, but that's just a plothole no one will ever fill.








Yes that makes PERFECT sense! Your EYE was your mind! And because you lost your eye, you can't control your thoughts!




This isn't important for a long time.






Well, fuck. I would have preferred that Nepto joined my team. I would have gladly kicked Virgin out for him, but eternal sleep always wins.


Normalizing myself right now.


Well, whether or not you were going to GIVE it to me, I would have stolen it anyways!


Woo! How many re-used Final Fantasy sprites are we at now?


Pressing A+B 50 times didn't do anything!


First stop, here.


Oh dear.


Faeries, baby.


This is the only word of advice here. The rest of the faeries are spewing bullshit about why we should drive hybrid cars and that George W. Bush doesn't care about black faeries.


Next stop, this castle!


It's abandoned as usual.


The very right flame opens this door, and...


Jackpot. Literally. Each of these chests contain gil. All of the ones on the left wall contain 3000.


Well shit! I can't get in here without a key, or... someone who can pick it.


Next stop, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING




Chocobos! The tradition continues on.


Well, we'll go here, and...


Aw this music is so peaceful.


The protoss? Before we go anywhere, let's stay at the end.


Goddammit Desh don't stare at me like that


Magic. Well, I have the black stuff, but this white stuff is gold.


Oh, you're on.


Check this shit out.


Woo!








Jesus.






Almost there...




Finally! What's my prize?


Oh can't wait!


Midget bread! It casts sight, which zooms the world out for a second. In other words, I got jack shit for doing this.


Another great gameplay mechanic I haven't mentioned: buying in bulk gives you a discount. Like, a good discount. I forget the actual number, but, it's pretty good.


Also, as characters gain skill points, certain things happen. For example, Dark Id here is pretty good with those nunchucks, but...


Notice how his attack power went up? Every skill a monk gains he gets one attack power point to a barehanded attack.


Virgin is practically useless right now, I think it's time we change that.


Any objections?*


We'll find out what the hell we're doing next time.

_{*Oyster doesn't count.}