Part 5: Update Five: Damn, Gustav!

Yeah, don't do that to yourself.

Play along with me instead!



Sweet Jesus, I like this theory far too much.



Anyways, have an update.



Update Five: Damn, Gustav!

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, the fearsome Octomamm was slain and Damcyan Castle got blown the fuck up. Today, we're going to see how bad the damage is, so let's mosey.





I hope that nobody really important was in there.



We should rush through and find if there were any survivors...





Well, even if there are, they're probably dying already. They can wait a few minutes.



This is probably also our best opportunity to loot the place, too.





They keep their good loot in the dungeon, too, which works well, I guess. I mean, if you catch someone trying to rob you, then it's only a four foot walk to the cells.



Uh, guy, are you alright?



Oh, God, he's gone blind!



He fades away and we can pass now, but I want you to keep in mind that neither Cecil, Kim or Gustav said anything to that man; he was dying, he was blind, and he was still dedicated to his job, and they didn't try to comfort him at all.



And now they're just going to take the treasure! We have a party full of assholes!



At least there's a semi-hidden passage to it.



The treasure is also kept in the jail cells, so I was wrong earlier. If someone is caught trying to rob this part, then just close the doors and they have been caught.



I kind of like this system.





As more than a few people pointed out, I could have snagged one of these in the Waterway. But, fuck it, free one here, so I'm not worried.



We snag a new weapon type, too. Bow weapons in this game actually require ammunition to use, by the way, and arrows came in many different flavors.



We'll be seeing a few different types soon enough, but arrows generally cover just about anything you need them to, from most elements to status effects.





The Feathered Cap is a nice little boost for Kim and she probably looks even more adorable with it on.



The Ruby Ring offers a single point of Magic Defense, but at the cost of two points of regular Defense; it also has defense against the status of "Pig", which turns a character into a pig. It barely ever comes up, so it's not all that valuable, but it's something. She keeps her old ring, as I don't want to sacrifice any of her small defense and that's not to mention we don't have many enemies that are blasting us with magic.



And Cecil can't equip rings. I guess he can't find a way to bolt them to his fingers.



That staircase over there leads to more treasure.





Holy Arrows are, as the name implies, Holy-elemental. They'll be super-effective against Undead type enemies.

Arrows also come in stacks of 10; you have finite ammunition, so if you give someone a bow, be sure to stockpile plenty of arrows.







Gold Needles heal the Petrification status effect, which is bad, because if a character is petrified, they're counted as dead. Characters are gradually petrified in this game, though, so you have plenty of time to needle the afflicted characters before they're turned completely to stone.



Iron Arrows are just generic ammunition, with nothing special about them.



Holy Arrows are also fairly powerful, for arrows, so they're good to hold onto. You can switch arrow types in the middle of battle, too, so that's a kindness. Since not every enemy group is always going to have enemies that are all weak to the same element, being able to switch them on the fly is pretty nice.





Antidotes cure the Poison status effect; poison saps a character's health, but it's not super dangerous.



And we finish off the raid on Damycan with a Potion.



Now, uh, let's see about the rest of the castle.



It doesn't start off well. This dude is hella dead.



As is that guy. He has the same "..." response that the first guy did.



Part of the castle is still on fire. Now, this castle looks mostly to be stone, so is that fire really dangerous? I suppose if there was some wood in the construction, it could be dangerous, but from how I see it here, those fires shouldn't be that big of a deal.

*Cue a goon coming in to tell me how Goddamned dumb I am*



Things aren't much better as we head inside the castle proper.



They came here for the Crystal? So, Baron has two of them now.





Believe me, I know. Check the .gif from last update, this castle got blown to smithereens.





That treasure chest up there just has a Tent inside of it. One of these guys should consider using it...



Those healing pots are pretty awesome; they'll restore all HP, cure any status effects and restore MP to full.



But, uh, Cecil and his crew don't bother to help the guy.



Like I said, we've got a crew of assholes.



These guys aren't even bothering to try and ask for help. They know it's a foregone conclusion.



How much worse can it be up top?



...Oh, crap, she has a unique sprite. Things are very bad up here.



Ah, hell, the party split.





Well, Anna did run off to Damcyan...But why is she in the castle? And who is that man approaching from the right?



Uh-oh. Gustav, remain calm; you don't have full MP!



Gustav, what are you doing?



Dear God, he's so angry, he's forgotten all of his magic!



Hey, look at that, classic line!



Also, hey, the game moved on, so we should, too.



You spoony bastards.



Gustav, you don't mean that. If you did, you'd actually be doing something effective.



Mr. Bard, have you considered trying to, oh, I don't know...Pushing him away? Not letting your face get beat in with a wooden staff?



I'm not saying be mean about it or something; I don't want you to dropkick him in the chest, but c'mon, a light shove would probably floor Gustav.



It's better that I don't write these games.



Because if I had, you would have seen an old man try and beat up a bard.



And probably get kicked straight in his balls.





Oop, joke time over. Things have gotten serious.





Everyone stops as Anna speaks up.



Gustav and the bard rush to her side.



As do Cecil and Kim.



If he's the prince around here, why is he dressed as a bard? Why didn't they tell Gustav who he really was?



Would he have consented if he had known it was a prince who was courting his daughter?



Golbez? Who--



Cecil doesn't even know who he is? Cecil was the Captain of the Red Wings, which seemed like a pretty powerful position. How could he not have known anything about the man who's taken his position?



How do you know? He was in an airship as it dropped bombs all over your castle!





It's actually probably safe to assume that there was a bigger operation here than just three airships dropping bombs. I'm sure there was a full assault, but the thought of someone just winging the Crystal at an airship while the castle is exploding around them amuses me.



Why would she shield him? The king and queen I can understand, as those are his parents, but Edward should have been shielding Anna. Not unless she was just trying to be sure that Damcyan wasn't left without a ruler...



Edward is properly ashamed of himself.





Were I Gustav, I don't know if I could truly be angry with Edward here. I would be angry, yes, but not at anyone in particular.





Sorry, Eddy. She's gone.



I'm sorry, Gustav.



Gustav has jumped straight to the anger stage of grief.



Wait, he just waltzed right in and took over?



And he has no compunctions about gathering the Crystals? I wonder if Cecil was going to be demoted all along...



At least someone here seems sad about it!





Gustav starts to storm off, but Cecil goes after him.



Remember, you needed our help to defeat Octomamm!



Gustav raises his fist...



...And decks Cecil out of the way and across the room.



That is a fury no one will be able to calm.





Gustav leaves the castle and our party.



Edward seems to have missed the scene that just happened. Grief is a powerful thing.





Kim, what are you doing? You going to try and comfort him?



...Damn, girl.





Just look at those last two shots. I'm not even going to be an asshole here.









While I put forth the effort not to be an asshole, Edward takes over in spades.



Jesus, man, Cecil was less bitchy after slaughtering innocent civilians.





Cecil is having none of this bullshit.





He punches Edward in the face so hard, the sun blinks.



Cecil knows this is a shit situation, but he's got a mission of his own. He doesn't have time to participate in this pity party.



He brings out the heavy hitting stuff, too.





Believe it or not, King Dick, someone's asking for your help.



Despite all that's happened, Cecil is still focused on Rosa.





In a way, he's also helping Edward. It's not buying into his whiny, "woe is me" bullshit; he's helping him by making him look at another person's problem.





It's really good to see how much Cecil loves her.



Edward looks away...



...then back at his love.



C'mon, Edward. You know what to do here.



Atta boy.



...I didn't want to know that, but thanks, I guess.



: After we acquire the Sand Ruby, we can cross the shallows to reach Kaipo. Let us be on our way.



Man, I LP a lot of games that have royalty join your party...



...Edward, are you leading the group?



Sweet Jesus, Cecil. After you save Rosa, drop that Dark Knight schtick and become a motivational speaker.



After they leave, though, Edward comes back.



It's just long enough to say goodbye, though.



Anna's body fades away.



And now, Edward is set in his resolve.



Jesus Christ, the Red Wings are back!







Oh, never mind. The Hovercraft just has an explosive entrance.



But, uh...Edward sure as hell doesn't.



A little girl is better than him in nearly every regard! You suck, Edward!



For the love of crap...This is our party now, guys.

Next time, on Final Fantasy IV, let's see about getting our hands on a Sand Ruby. Stay tuned!


Anyways, we need to see about renaming our newly acquired Bard. Right now, I'm leaning toward Lt Mrdr, but I'll give you guys a few days to convince me otherwise. You also have more time to convince me to change Kim's name to something other than "Shaman", so keep on suggesting names!