Part 9: Update Nine: Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Worse...

Update Nine: Just When You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Worse...

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV--



Righto. That just about brings us up to speed.



Or else he was tired of being second-banana, Cecil.



Y'know, Bowser, you should have just taken the opportunity to stab him in the back of the head.



Leave, I'm fairly sure you could just Kick Bowser from there and probably throw his groove off.



Strap in, folks; we're about to see a karate master face off against a master Dragoon.



...Or not.



Rosa and Kim enter the Crystal Room; Kim, quickly, cast Chocobo!



Well, he's not trying to kill her yet. That's a good sign.



: You had the most trustworthy name!



: ...I can't believe you're honestly surprised.



Bowser still feels shame, though. But only when Rosa is here. How curious.



Eh? What's this, then?



The girls turn...





...As someone new enters the Crystal Room.



Ladies and gentlemen, meet the man of the hour.



Thanks, Cecil, I'd forgotten his name since the last text box.



: done!







Kain clears out of the way, or maybe Leave shoved his ass to the side.





Golbez effortlessly dispatches both Leave and Champ in one blast.



From what we've heard of Golbez to this point, we knew he was powerful. But seeing him just trounce two members of our party as if he were swatting a fly is kind of intimidating. Not to mention that music...



His cool, calm demeanor adds to it all, too. Golbez is a badass, no doubts about it.



Bowser is also completely under his control and apparently, it's a magical spell. Even though Golbez is probably powerful enough to force someone to do his bidding, Bowser probably doesn't roll with that shit.





So far, the only person who's had any effect on Bowser speaks up.



However, Cecil fears for Rosa. She is standing between Golbez and Bowser and they've already shown themselves to be strong enough to completely destroy the party. Hell, I'm willing to bet that Golbez could have done this entire operation all by himself.



Bowser turns, so close to the Crystal. There still may be hope.







Villain Status: Complete Antagonist

: Until next time.



Golbez approaches Rosa...



...And snatches her. He then walks out of the Crystal Room and not a one of our heroes can make any move to stop him.



Bowser takes the Wind Crystal.



Before he takes his leave, he uses this opportunity to taunt Cecil.



Kim just watches, knowing she can't do anything.







This is one thing that this game does that I really like; outside of battle, Cure is not forgotten as something that can be used.



A golden light shines in the Crystal Room, healing the wounded.





Kim's just such a little sweetie.





Champ is grateful, but Leave and Cecil have other things on their minds.



Looks like we have ourselves another mission, in addition to not letting Golbez get his mitts on that final Crystal.





They must know she has a point, but Leave and Cecil don't seem to be doing very well right now.



...Holy shit, Champ. Did that lightning blast shock some sense into your brain?



You're alright by me, Champ.



Leave realizes that Champ has a point and is now ready to repay Cecil's favor from earlier.



Cecil is still down, but I'm willing to give him a pass on it; his best friend just tried to murder him, his love was kidnapped, and he failed to protect yet another Crystal.



We're given back control at this point, so let's get out of here.



In the throne room, there's a few things we have to snag while we're here. In that pot over to the left, there was a pair of Hermes' Sandals.



Some of you may have noticed this little switch over here; it's okay if you didn't, as there's a lot of shit happening in this room and it's easy to miss.



Heading up through the new door and down, you can go to the right to follow a secret passage.





Here is Cecil's first shield upgrade. I don't know why it's hidden behind the throne room in Fabul, but whatever.



And another Ether I'll never use, for fear that I'll need it down the road.



Cecil straps his new shield on.



And now we head to the inn for another scene.





Well, Kim can kind of emulate an airstrike, so that's a solid place to start.



...Cecil, did you just suggest we have airship dogfights?



Oh, and Leave suggests that we steal a ship!



That's kind of odd to me, as Baron is fairly close to an ocean. Then again, when the sky is your ocean, I guess waterships aren't as useful.







Well, hell, this is going to be easier than I thought.





: what happened to him...



We can only hope, Leave.



We can only hope...



Speaking of hope, for those of you who thought this update was nearly over, I'd like to apologize. We're just getting started.



The next morning, everyone has gathered in the King's bedroom.



Somehow, Kingy, I think Leave was coming with or without your permission.



And we're getting a new sword!?

: The sword exudes tremendous force, but it is still a weapon of darkness. Darkness can never prevail over true evil. I have faith you will slay Golbez. Or perhaps it is but a mere wish...



Cecil's rockin' new weapon has a rockin' name.



: Golbez mus be stopped. If he acquires all of the Crystals, the world with be thrust into an unprecedented crisis. I am counting on you.



With those words from the king, we're ready to move on. The Deathbringer has quite a lot of power behind it, plus it occasionally will instantly kill whatever you hit with it. That is, if it isn't already instantly killed just by Cecil smacking it.



Before we scoot and skedaddle, though, let's go see Leave's Wife.



C'mon, like you expected anything different?







Now, everyone, let's see the reason why everyone loves Leave's Wife.



: frying pan!

That's right. Armed soldiers who were ransacking the castle broke in her and she beat their asses with a frying pan. If, after this, you don't think this woman is amazing, get the fuck out of my thread.



Let's talk to some of these guys to help come down from that high I just got from talking to Leave's wife.







The other two wounded monks just parrot what these guys said, so let's move on.



I'm sure this won't ever happen to us. Let's get outta here.



Just east of the castle is the ship, so let's get going to Baron.



Leave's Wife has come to see us off.



No, just come with us! You can kick the ass yourself!



Look at this woman! She wants to kick ass, chew bubblegum, and she's optimistic! I think I'm in love.





And so, our party boards the ship, ready to assault Baron.



I bet she could take over your position as the person who trains the monks. They'd learn hella fast if they had to dodge frying pan blows.







She even walks down the length of the ship as our party does.



This game has such awesome NPCs. The Captain here is one of the best.









And we're off. Just sit back and enjoy the sights for a little bit, folks.



We have nice blue ocean.



Land that is close to being connected.



More blue ocean.



Alright, this is just about all the sights we have to see. What do you want from me? I'm not controlling this trip.



On the ship, we get a small scene as we zoom around the ocean.



Kill the king, try and kill Golbez, and kick Bowser in the nads.



And then we'll steal us an airship.



Oh, buddy, you've got a thing or two to learn about Cid.







I expected a Star Wars reference here. I'm kind of disappointed.



Ooh, look! Part of a mountain!



Looking at the shots I've taken, I think there are like, twenty of just blue ocean.



So just imagine the last shot repeated for a little while and you get the idea. Also, something bad is happening now.



Something very bad.









I can only think of a few things that it could be and I don't like any of them.









Back on ship, all the sailors are running around, in a panic.



The Captain barks out an order...



...But it's too late to stop this from happening.



Kim is knocked off of the ship.





I'm not sure if Leave here jumps off the ship to go save Kim or if he is rocked off like she was; nobody I've asked seems to know, either, but I like to think he went to rescue Kim.





The ship is rocked again and Champ is flung through the air.



He's not knocked off of the ship, but he did just slam his face into the deck.





Cecil rushes to his side...



...But it is of no use.



Leviathan begins to descend back into the sea, and the ship is being dragged into the whirlpool.





The scene fades to black...



...And we're still not done yet. Don't worry, this will all make sense by the end of the update.



Cecil awakens alone on a beach somewhere.



It's unknown how long he's been out, but he's in rough shape.



He drags himself to his feet.



He glances to his left.



Then to his right.





There's no reply.



And no reply from there, either.



Cecil is utterly alone.



This is going to make storming Baron Castle much harder.



Thankfully, we're not far from a town. Maybe someone there can help Cecil get back on track or maybe they've seen one of his friends.





...Cecil, is this the shittiest day of your life or what?







Nearly all of the citizens are, as to be expected, actively hostile toward Cecil. They haven't forgotten what he did last time he was here.





Toad is a pain in the ass status effect; it makes a character essentially useless in battle. They can barely deal damage and they can only cast Toad, if they even know the spell.



Getting changed back is as easy as talking to that Black Mage again, though. Thankfully, he's just vengeful, not smart.



This White Mage doesn't overtly hate Cecil.



Heading north into Mysidia, we find a Black Mage who doesn't overtly hate him, either.





This White Mage is on the left side of Mysidia.



And she is completely terrified of Cecil.



You can talk to her again from here and she'll jump out of the map. Cecil definitely left his mark on these people.



Maybe Kim or Leave washed up here and made their way to the Inn.



Inside, we find some very anti-Baron propaganda.



Oh, hey, another dancer!







Pig is pretty much Toad, but you're a pig instead of a Toad.



Maybe they won't catch on that it's Cecil.



This guy could just be afraid of pigs.



And this guy is just belligerent and drunk!



...Aw, hell, they still know it's Cecil.



Namingway doesn't hate Cecil, but I don't need to change his name. And the barman seems to be nice enough.



Ah, hell. The barman must've given him a gin and tonic.







Had I done this LP a few years ago, I could have made a swine flu joke here and been topical.



When poisoned, every step you take not only gives you this mosaic effect, but also deals some damage to whoever is poisoned.



Y'know, it's 3:30 in the morning and I am starving.



Seriously, I'm so hungry. Know what I could go for?



A pig in a blanket.



Staying at the Inn will also heal any status effects a character has, in addition to the HP/MP refill.



There's nothing useful to Cecil in the weapon or armor shop, so let's just get this over with.



We may as well suck it up and go speak to the Elder.



Hopefully, he doesn't hate quite as much as the White and Black Mages do.





To the left, there's someone to speak to and to the right, there are a couple of beds. Let's put off talking to the Elder for just a minute longer.







I can understand this man's point of view. I don't know if I could forgive Cecil if I lived in Mysidia.





: Before, I did not have the courage to go against the king's orders...





The Elder isn't dancing around this issue. He's being as blunt as can be.



But, he's willing to listen to Cecil.





: Golbez, who presently holds power in Baron. However, my friends were attacked by Leviathan on our way to rescue someone who had been captured by Golbez...

: ...Perhaps this is a test and you must prove yourself worthy. However, you have come to rely too much on your dark sword. This will only lead to the darkening of your soul. If you wish to fight with purity, you must head to Mt. Ordeals to the east. There, you may find, is where your fate lies.





I understand Cecil's rush to get out of here and save his friends, but I think he should at least be happy he wasn't immediately burned to death as soon as he set foot into Mysidia.



: You must go to Mt. Ordeals and transform that dark sword you carry into one of light.

But, Elder, we just got this new sword!



: have returned...Do you wish to go?

Is that even a real question, Elder?



Of course Cecil is going to go.



I'm surprised he trusts Cecil enough to send anyone with him.





...Another five year old? Cecil, I'm sensing a pattern here with you and your magically inclined teammates. Except Rosa. So, I guess a pattern is just starting.





Palom is an interesting fellow.



He springs out of that cloud of smoke and does a twist before landing.



: will assist you!

Also, look at that face. That is the face we've all seen one guy at a party have; it just screams, "I am going to fuck you later."





Cecil cannot believe this shit.



What the Elder doesn't mention here is that these two are a pair of little badasses.



Oh, buddy, you have no idea.



Palom's got a touch of an ego. But, he's also a five year old who can fling fire around with a word, so I guess it's understandable.



Although, the Elder seems less than thrilled...



Porom is the sweet, teacher's pet type of child.



She's also the one who keeps Palom's ass in line.



She literally drags Palom's ass in front of Cecil here.



Well, it's not perfect, but at least it's a greeting.





We won't be doing that this update; we'll save that for the future.



As they are mages and preschool age, they both get thrown into the back row. Cecil is still the tank around here.



Porom's Spirit stat is fabulous and will only get better.



As is Palom's Intellect. The twins are a major boost to Cecil's asskicking power, as we'll see soon enough.



In the armor shop, both twins get a set of new armor. Right now, this is the only usable thing that the shop is selling. Palom also got Kim's old Ice Rod and Porom is keeping the Staff she came equipped with.



And with this shot of Porom's stats, this is where we'll conclude this update. Next time, on Final Fantasy IV, let's tackle another mountain. Stay tuned!



VOTING TIME





As we have just received two new party members, they might need new names. Now, they are twins, so if you'd like, feel free to give a twin theme to their names. Remember to BOLD your vote or I'm not going to count it.

This is also half the reason why this update is going up a day early. The other half is that I think Silver Falcon can nearly catch up in her DS run this way, and by the end of the week, we'll both be even with each other.





Also, if anyone gets this joke, good on you. I ran this by a couple of my friends and ended up having to explain it.