Part 13: Update Thirteen: Tsunami Alert

Update Thirteen: Tsunami Alert

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, we found out just how shitty the aquifers of Baron really are. Today, we're going to make our way inside Baron Castle and finally see what's what, so let's mosey.




We're all set, too, Cecil. I already said "Let's mosey" so you're not keeping up, man.



I can't stop listening to Billy Joel's Keeping The Faith on repeat.



I caught it while I was in therapy the other day and I tried dancing along and I'm pretty sure I'm not medically cleared to bust a groove.



It didn't go too badly, as I was doing a walking exercise at the time and my therapist seemed amused.





Alright, folks, you ready to get this Baron shit sorted out?



Well, me too, but I'd like to catch a nap first.



You can use Cecil's old bed as a full heal spot in Baron Castle, which is a lovely little detail.



It's good to know that no matter what's going on, it can wait until tomorrow.





Anyways, Baron Castle is completely empty. There are no encounters and no people anywhere to be seen.



It's kind of eerie, as all the citizens in the town were not happy with what was going on here.



It's possible that there are no regular soldiers around Baron Castle anymore. We've already seen that they can take the form of human beings.



Perhaps the town of Baron is slowly being infiltrated by these imposters and the people who thought something was up were the only humans left...



On a slightly related note, go watch the CoC LP. It's really good.



Baigan! Remember this asshole from the beginning?



Cecil does and he does not trust the man.



Other than you being a righteous douche, probably not.



Oh, yeah, he could be doing that, too, I suppose.



We've already seen that strong ties of loyalty can fight against Golbez's mind control; now, this is with the assumption that all of the people who he's converted to his side are under the mind control, but we've seen it with Bowser already. Rosa has a definite effect on him and he was ready to murder his best friend.



And why haven't you rescued him, asshat?



...Oh. Well, I'll give you that one.



Hey, alright! This brings our number of physical fighters up to three!



Plus, now we have three military men. This should make any attack plans made in the future that much better, just based on Baigan's experience alone.



We can only have five people in the party at a time, so Baigan gets to trail behind us for now.



Masa, Mune, what the hell are you doing? Baigan doesn't need an entourage.





Well, you are standing around in the hallway of a bad castle like a complete knob.



No shit! Jesus, no wonder these two are the prodigies of Mysidia!



...Baigan, why don't you have a portrait?





Polite, but sassy. I can dig it.



Cecil, you're kind of an idiot, aren't you?



Oh, God, he's removing his pants!





Baigan, you and I have very different definitions of what constitutes wonderful.



Baigan's got a bit of power behind his attacks.



To cut down on the number of attacks flying around, take off his arms.



Both arms have 444 HP, with Baigan himself having 4,444 HP, so it's not too tough to disarm him.



Power, as always, is a decent go-to command for Leave. It's got a bit of charge time, yes, so he might be able to attack twice in the time it takes to charge up Power. I might have to do some experimentation later.



Masa can use his second level spells to completely blow off one of the arms, or he and Mune can team together to fuck up all three parts of Baigan.



Using Power, Leave can destroy an arm all by himself. I really like Leave.



Mune gets dropped in the middle of Twincast, but it's okay.



If you can revive the downed twin fast enough...



With appropriate breaks taken to blow off an arm...





She's back on her feet and Baigan's arms are both restored. They have no more HP than they did before, so they're closer to nuisances than actual threats in this fight.



Ooh, the twins even brought their A-game for Baigan!



Comet wings a bunch of stars at the enemy, hitting all of them; it costs 20 MP from each twin to use, but it's stronger than Pyro.







When the main body is hit with magic, Baigan will throw up a Reflect on himself, which will reflect spells back when used against him. It doesn't last forever, but it does last a good while.



Since Baigan seemed to take offense at Mune, even though she meant none, he keeps wailing on her.



Gustav drops a Curaga on the party, as his big spells would just reflect off Baigan and murder someone in the party.



It's not the greatest healing, but it does the job.



Leave Powers himself a smack into Baigan's chest.



Masa Bluffs up, for extra magic power.



Cecil and Leave begin to wail on Baigan's body, as one that goes down, the fight is over.



Entangle is more of a pain in the ass kind of spell than an actual threat.



Mune is just paralyzed, so she can't do shit for a while.



While Gustav blows off Baigan's Right Arm.



Masa took care of the other arm with a Thundara.



Baigan will quickly regenerate his arms, so if you just take one of them down, it makes it easier to deal with this fight.



Though, I will say, the arms are great for draining MP from. It's too bad that Masa doesn't have Osmose yet.



A quick Blizzara took out that arm, while Leave tries to gouge out Baigan's eyes.



HP is starting to get lower than I like, so I decide to bust out Curaja, which is the strongest healing spell in the game.





It heals a pretty good amount of HP and will get even better when someone with a massive Spirit stat is using it.





The Right Arm used Vampire here, which doesn't actually drain health from the target. It just deals a bit of damage, and then inflicts Sap on whoever was hit with it. Sap will drain HP over time at a decent pace, but it's not a horrible status ailment.



I was hoping that Baigan's Reflect had worn off by now. Thankfully, it had, otherwise someone would have been roasted.



Bluff is a wonderful thing.



This is the last hit that Baigan takes, which is both a good and bad thing.



See how that arm remained?



If either arm is still around when Baigan's body goes down, they'll self-destruct, which really fuckin' hurts.



Thankfully, he exploded on Cecil, who has enough HP to just tank on through it. Leave would also have been an acceptable choice.



After the fight, Masa has apparently forgotten that his sister got her ass beat by Baigan.



Baigan died as he lived.



A giant douche.



Before we go confront the king, there's a castle to loot.



Starting with this switch here.





It leads to a small treasure room, which holds two Ethers (including this one), two Phoenix Downs and two Unicorn Horns, which heal a few different status effects, but I'll be damned if I can remember what they are.





Then we pop into this tower here to snag some more treasure.



This inflicts Berserk when used on someone, which makes them uncontrollable, but also makes them stronger and faster. Sometimes, it's not a bad idea to Berserk Cecil or Leave, as they're generally just smacking away at something anyhow.

There's also another Cider and two pairs of Hermes' Shoes in here. Down that staircase to the left...



There's an Elixer in this pot; Elixers completely restore one character's HP/MP to full and are fairly rare. There is also absolutely nothing to that hallway down the right.



So let's head up these stairs!



Two Hi-Potions in these chests.



And then up the stairs, there are two tents and two Ethers.



The second Ether is hidden in this pot.



Alright, with Baron Castle looted successfully, let's get to that jerk king.



This room is completely empty, too.



Look at that fat turd. He must have heard the fight with Baigan, but he stayed on this throne the entire time, just waiting for us. Or else he was in the regal shower at the time and he just made it to the throne.







Well, I guess a Dark Knight is more terrifying than a Paladin. Then again, Paladins are nicer, but can also ruin some shit, so I wouldn't say a Dark Knight is more useful.



I mean, I'd be more willing to admit my crimes to a Paladin if I were a bad guy. I'd just try and kill a Dark Knight.



...Wait, what?





I'm going to guess he murdered the fuck out of him, Cecil.



: That weakling never deserved to be one of the four Elemental Lords. The rest of us are more powerful than him.





The screen fades to dark blue...



...And we find out that Golbez hired Buffalo Bill for his Elemental Lords team.



He just wanted a King with tits on it!



So, this turtle looking motherfucker is our next boss.



His physical attacks aren't too bad, really.



He also has 5,312 HP to tear through. He's also weak to Lightning, as you would expect, so I have Leave slap on a second Thunder Claw.



And since this is an LP and I should show off stuff like that, this gives him enough time to go into his dangerous mode.



Remember the worm's Tsunami from the Baron Waterway?





This is nothing like that. Jesus Christ, Cagnazzo.



He'll also Haste himself to make him move faster and Tsunami even faster.



But, aside from that, Cagnazzo is not dangerous.



Masa did not Bluff that Thundara.



Thunder will destroy his water barrier and Cagnazzo is now, essentially, helpless.





That was a Power'd up hit, either. Oh, Leave, you wonderful bastard.



Cecil revives Mune, as I'd like her healing around, just in case something stupid happens and I get blasted with another Tsunami.



Mune readies a Cura for everyone, while Gustav powers up the big guns.



Gustav having all the level three elemental spells makes this fight even more of a joke.



Oh, no, water barrier!



bitch!



After dealing a bunch of damage to him, Cagnazzo will retreat into his shell.





He also can recover some of his HP, but it's not enough to matter, when three out of five people can easily do 3,000 damage a turn.



This is the end of the fight. Seriously, Cagnazzo is a joke. Scarmiglione was more of a threat.





If you die to Cagnazzo, I hope you were attacked by a badger at the start of the fight, because that is just about the only excuse I'd accept for you not killing him.



Man, sometimes, people just ain't happy when you kill the imposter king.



Remember Cid? You should.



Cid is an awesome character and the face-beating line is exactly what should cement that in your mind. He just gets better from here.



He's a man with so much character and presence that the party splits just to talk to him.







: still alive.

Well, Cid, uh, about that...





Bowser dropkicked his teeth into his rectum?





Gustav gets everyone back on track, though. I don't think it's because he actually gives a fuck, his murder-boner is just that fierce.



Cid looks at Cecil like, "Man, do you believe this motherfucker?"





Gustav, please, try and fight Cid like you did Champ.





Holy crap, I think Cid is going to go punch Gustav.



Mune goes to put a stop to it. Buzzkill.





She handles introductions and deprives us of Cid being awesome.







She's kind of mean to Masa. He was a very instrumental part of us winning that last fight, y'know.



Then again, he did insult Cid, which is not cool in my book.





Leave's a hell of a guy, Cid.



Enough of the pleasantries, though; it's back to business.



Little did we know, it was hidden in the Waterway the entire time.



Gustav, don't try and bullshit us! You just want to go kill the shit out of Golbez!



: Everyone, follow me.



Cid leads everyone out of the room, while Masa and Mune lag behind.



But, Mune quickly fixes that.



Funny how this room is just long enough for all of us to fit.



...Aww, crap.



: Now join me in the netherworld!



The room begins to violently shake around our party.



And it quickly grows much smaller.





Okay, the room is coming to crush us and both doors are locked. Can't someone just break one of the doors down?



The room grows smaller again and it's starting to get uncomfortable in here.



Blow the walls away? Hell yeah, Masa, I knew I liked you better for a reason.



...The fuck are you talking about?



Please don't let it be something stupid...



...Oh, God, it's something stupid.



For what!?











Break can be cured with Esuna. Gustav, get in there!



Thank God he remembered he could do that.



Golbez, I'm coming for you, motherfucker.