Part 31: Update Thirty: Faces On The Wall

Update Thirty: Faces On The Wall

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, I fucked around as much as I could before entering the Sealed Cavern. Today, in a short update, we're going to finish this sucker off, so let's mosey.



The two save points in here can really be a lifesaver, if you're underleveled. Trap Doors and Chimera Brains can be nasty customers if you're unprepared.



I always think this place is about twice as long as it really is. I guess my childhood memories of this place have really tainted my memories of how this dungeon actually goes.



Ah, here we go. The rope to--



Oh, well, fuck you, game. Teasing me like that.




This room isn't bad; both sides are barren, with no treasures or doors. Just a straight walk around.







See? Jack and shit around here, except for the stairs to the next level.





This room, too, is oddly empty. It's like they figured out that Trap Doors were a pain in the ass.



Oh, who am I kidding. They figured that out a while back and just kept doing it.





And, of course they felt it necessary to throw one more at us.



It falls just like the rest, to a fruity katana and a berserk dragon-man.





Okay, we're in the Crystal Room. Things will go wrong in three...



Two...





One...



...Oh. There's nothing.



Right?



Right.



Nothing over here...



Well, ain't this just a hoot and a half!



We actually managed to do something right!



I'm walkin' on sunshine!



And don't it--



Oh, the fuck is this.





I should have known that it was too easy.





You said it, Goemon. Alright, let's get this shit over with.





Well, that's a scary looking wall.



It's also constantly moving forward; it doesn't move super fast, though. It's the gimmick of this fight.



See, Demon Wall is a timed fight. You've got a limited amount of time to cut through it's 28,000 HP.





If you don't kill it in time, it'll start to instantly kill party members when it gets close enough. Once it reaches that point, it's only a short time before you're treated to a Game Over, so let's not have that happen, shall we?



It also counters magic used against it with Stone Gaze, which inflicts Gradual Petrification.



Slow makes this fight pretty much a cake walk. Not that it was hard before.



All the status healing items have the same animation. It's a little disappointing, considering how varied the weapon sprites are.





Demon Wall also has physicals, not that they're really worth mentioning.



Something worth mentioning, however, is Asura.





Asura's effect depends on which face she lands on; I don't remember the exact faces for the exact spell, but her other options, aside from a full-party Life, are a very powerful healing spell or casting Protect on everyone. She's a bit of a tossup, but I wouldn't say any of her effects are useless; Life here is probably the least useful, but if you're in a bad situation, this could be a lifesaver.



Bio is effective. Sure, we have Blizzaga, but Bio comes out instantly and is 10 MP cheaper. Were he weak to Ice, I'd be throwing Blizzaga at him, but Bio will do nicely.



There is a ton of things that Goemon can throw at the enemy, and since I had these sitting around and they won't be used otherwise (plus, I haven't really shown off Throw), so I decided to whip the Fuma Shuriken at Demon Wall.



After it hits, it splits into all of these shurikens. Can anyone tell me where the term "Fuma" came from and why it describes a better shuriken?



They do a pretty good amount of damage, too.





As does Leviathan. Really, in most situations, he's a very useful summon.



Leviathan was also the final blow in the battle, so we're done here!





Seriously, man. I killed it before it managed to get even relatively close to my party.



Alright, let's scoot on out of here. Warp will take us back to the previous floor. That might sound like it'd just pop me back down that staircase, but really, if I'm on B3, it'll take me back to B2.



A few Warps later and we're back at the entrance, looking pretty with the final Dark Crystal in hand.



...Fuck.





Fuck off, Golbez, he's with us! He won't succumb to your tricks anymore!



Charlotte! Johnathan!



Rosa seemed to be able to get through the brainwashing last time. Maybe she'll have the same sort of effect here.



Hell yeah, Bowser!



Bwuh?



Oh, God, no!



This isn't ! This isn't at all!



Th--This is...This is--



ANTI SUGARTITS







Dammit, Bowser. Why must you falter, especially now?



Punch him in the crotch or something, Cecil!



Don't just let him fucking do this, you douchenozzle!









Goddammit, I hate most of this party.







This is all your Goddamned fault, Cecil. You could have tackled him or cast Hold or something on him.



Let's just call it quits for now. But what the hell are we going to do next...?

Next time, find out what the hell we're doing next! Stay tuned!

_{Why yes, Explosionface did make the Antisugartits. He accepts cash, checks and all major credit cards.}