Part 47: Update Forty Six: The Bard's Trial

Y'know, PoliteMachineGun, this sounds like a request for some art that I'm going to second. Pretty please, with a cherry on top?


Update Forty Six: The Bard's Trial

Welcome back! Last time, on Final Fantasy IV, Leave passed his Trial in the Lunar Ruins and we defeated Lunar Titan. Today, we're going to do another Trial, so let's mosey.



Quit giving me that look. I've rested a bit and I find LP'ing to be relaxing.





We're continuing on, by the way. Leave will stay in the lead until we hit the next Trial.



Floors of Remembrance are interesting. They're essentially just floors from other dungeons, just tossed in here, as Square is a batch of lazy fuckers who didn't give a shit about this dungeon.





This Cottage is good to see. You might remember this being a monster-in-a-box before, when we first hit this Lunar Cave. I only have a little over 20 Cottages right now, so I'm glad I found this one.





I didn't open that chest. I don't remember what was in that chest the first time around, but it was already opened when I got here. So does that mean that Square just copied the exact map I came from, including chests and their contents?

Is that laziness or efficiency? Am I questioning things I shouldn't? And why is it so hot in my room?



Let's move on. I'm also turning the ceiling fan on.



This is a floor a lot of you might not recognize off the bat. If you don't, that's okay, as I haven't shown off a lot of this place.



It's a Chocobo Forest!





And you can get a free MP restore, too!



Up in this corner, there's an interesting treasure to be found, too.



Yeah, that says Piggy's Stick. No, I didn't learn how to hack this stuff and made something up.



It's an actual sword for Cecil and decently powerful to boot. Bowser can equip it, too, and it can turn an enemy into a Pig. No stat bonuses, but, it has +150 Attack. The Holy Lance, for comparison's sake, has +109.



Heading south from there and going to the right leads to the way out of here.



And we hit the Antlion's Den.





I just took this shot to show that the random encounters now include monsters from the old dungeon being remembered as well as the new foes in the Lunar Ruins.





And the old monsters aren't beefed up at all. They're the same as they were back then, so a 500 damage hit from Kim is more than enough to defeat them.



Continuing on.





We exit the Antlion's Den into the next before-Trial room.



I save up beforehand, just in case something stupid happens and I get my ass kicked.



And away we go.



A snow covered castle? Where the hell is there snow on this world?



I don't know, is it...!?



I clearly remember this being in a desert. And holding the Fire Crystal. I didn't think it'd snow there, but hell, I don't know, maybe it could.





Did you just notice it's snowin', Champ?



What does this have to do with Norse things?



Oh, right, Champ, you probably don't know what Norse is. Well, it's kinda--



Or maybe it's someone talking. I forget that you can't always hear me.







It's a fucking harp, Champ.



Maybe it's a special harp. They all look the same to me.



Jesus Christ, Champ, the harp is speaking to you!



...Or there is some shit on fire, in front of you.





Well, I don't know how an assbeating is supposed to help you, but I can "help" all damned day if that's the case.



Something is off here. Everyone's ATB bars are filling at the same rate and Kim is in the front row.



Cecil, I did not command you to attack! I probably would have, yes, but dammit, I didn't tell you to do that!



...Odd. Things like ghosts and shit usually die when Cecil hits them with his sword.



I'm say keep trying, Cecil. Sometimes, things just have to be hit a lot with a sword.



Or twice, as this case is. Good job, team.



...It came back. I'm not sure what to do now. Things don't usually come back.



Champ, you know, I haven't selected "Sing" as an action of yours for a long time for a damned good reason, you moron.



...That's new.



Champ, why didn't you mention that you had control of souls with your singing voice? That seems like some critical, need to know information.



With the specter laid to rest, we can continue on.





And equip this new harp. Sure, it's got a nice boost to attack, but it also lowers all stats by 5. Champ is required to have this harp equipped for this entire Trial, so we've gotta deal with it.



As Damcyan Castle is crawling with Specters and we've gotta lay them to rest.





Leave is far faster than Champ is. For now, since Champ is down 20 points of Agility from where he is with the Apollo Harp equipped. And you'll see that Power has been changed to Deadly. Instead of charging up to deal double damage, Leave can now charge up to deal triple damage.

It's useful, yes, but coming this late in the game, Leave is usually strong enough to where if he's hitting a weakness, it's already going to be 9,999 damage, plus Deadly seems to take as long, if not longer, to charge up as Power took, so Leave can probably attack three times while waiting to charge up to deal triple damage. Unfortunately, Deadly isn't as useful as it sounds.



These fights all go exactly the same. Champ, when his turn comes up, uses Sing.



And then Requiem comes along.



And the soul is released.



Which allows us to move on to the next Specter. It's all about as exciting as it sounds.



And these guys drop Phoenix Downs, too.



See? Told you.



With this floor cleared, let's move on up.



I probably should have checked those chests when I was in here. I didn't think to, as this Trial is boring.



I was dreading doing this update. It's not often that I honestly do not want to update. I know I've said before that I haven't looked forward to doing an update because of what I have to work with, but look at this shit.

Unless I start telling you about my crotch pain, I literally have nothing to say.



Look at this shot. That's the most interesting thing I have from this fight. Leave is ready to use triple attack power.



And he doesn't even get to use it!



That's all for this floor, so let's get up to the next.



This is where Anna died, but Champ never mentions that. I could speculate that one of these Specters is Anna, since she died right here, but I won't. Anna's story has already seen its close, so we'll never hear from her again. Just think, Square could have done something interesting here with Anna's ghost and this being Champ's Trial, but they do nothing.

What a batch of fuckups.



I'm not even going to show you the fight. We all know how it goes.



However, we can still hit these pots for HP and MP restoration. It's a nice little detail that we can heal up here, since we could do it in regular Damcyan.



I don't even know if the Specters can attack, but I won't turn down a free heal.



Speaking of heals, Dooky Dingo suggested to me that I try cranberry juice for my urinary troubles. I'll be trying it tomorrow and I hope it goes well.

And everyone here should be nice to Dooky Dingo. He's a nice guy who needs a hug.



For the FF4 vets, you might not think to come up here. You can never go up this staircase before, so you might not think to check it now.



There's still no reason to check it out, by the way. It could have been a sneaky little trick by Square, but not an unpleasant one.



Back down in this hall, we find another Specter. I could have sworn I got all of them before.



Oh, well. It's not like this is a difficult process.





Well, that went about as normally as it had.



This is new, though. The air's never done somethin' like this before...



I just imagine Cecil saying this in the iest tone of voice possible.



It's a wall, Champ. Even if there's a bit of a draft, I don't think--



Well, I'll be damned.



Fuckin' perspective fooled me. I should have known.



Oh, yeah, by the way, we're not going to have any words about this place. No words about a secret Damcyan waterway or anything. Good ol' from Square on that.



I know it's a bonus dungeon and that I seem to be complaining a lot about it, but seriously, c'mon, it's a bonus dungeon. They could have gone buck wild with this place, doing whatever the fuck they feel like because the rest of the game doesn't have to mesh with it, but we don't get anything like that.

Instead, we get bullshit Trials, a boring-as-fuck dungeon to wade through, plus no exposition on anything at all. Square could have done so much with this and could have given us some insight into the characters, but no. They just tacked this shit on after letting some interns fuck around with it for a week and called it good.

Fuck you, Square, you pieces of shit.





This place isn't very big, but there are some twisty passages, as well as a few secret ones. I didn't find any treasure around here, but if there is any, I don't fucking give a shit. Unless it's some fabulous shit, I am never coming back here.



Even if it was fabulous, I still might not come back. Because, seriously, fuck this place.



You'd think that they could at least put the "cold air filter" on the battle screen or something. It's an utterly minor detail, sure, and would probably look like ass, but it'd be some modicum of effort that would be nice to see.



Looping back up and around, we come to this section with another Specter.





Let's continue on.



There's another Specter over there.



And a secret passage right here.



I know of two in here, but I don't care about them.





That square over there in the wall might seem like something important, but it's nothing.







Another soul sent to rest. We're doing good work here, folks, even if it's about an interesting as a ham sandwich.



I thought this square was something, so I went to check it out. I think it's just a graphical glitch, but I don't know if it's in my emulator or not.



Near the bottom is the exit to this place. Thank God.



We've still got work to do, though, so we can't snake on outta here just yet.



It's just this guy, though, which we saw through the wall.



And we're good to go. Let's get on outta here.



How sweet it is to see the--



Oh, fuck me! Dammit, Champ, let them go!



I didn't have to spend long looking around for the one I missed.



He was just to the right of the square in the wall. He gets taken care of like the rest and now we're good to go.





I sense...Something about this room.



Something that tells me to put Apollo's Harp back on Champ.



Put your hand up if you haven't guessed who we're going to face off against here.



What the hell is that?



It blasted Champ on his ass, so I'm okay with it.



...Dammit, game, I could have sold that!



And we've pissed someone off! Someone associated with ice!



Who could it be!?





Lunar Shiva is pretty obvious for the boss of this Trial. Apollo's Harp is handy here, since she is weak to Fire.



She has some strong physicals, but nothing too terrible. See how her staff/stick thing is aimed toward us right now?



That's the precursor to trouble. She's about to launch her nastiest attack.



Champ's back to his old speed and back to dealing great damage.



Once again, I kind of wish Leave had his Fire Claw equipped. But, considering he almost hit her as hard as Champ did (and Champ can hit her elemental weakness), I think I'd almost feel bad if Leave had it equipped.



Cecil is just strong as all get out, so his damage is good, no matter what. Lunar Shiva has 100,000 HP to tear through, so this fight is going to take a while.



Ice Storm is, by far, her strongest attack.



It drops a lot of damage on the entire party, but I'd like to make special note of how much damage it did to Champ. Leave, and possibly Cid, are the only ones in my entire party who have enough raw HP to survive a hit like that.



Like I said, she's weak to Fire, so Firaga is the optimal magic to be using on her.



As it'll deal max damage without much issue.



However, she'll counter Firaga with a Blizzaga on herself.



It only heals a little bit of damage, though, so it's not a huge concern. 2,500 HP isn't very much, since all of my physical hitters can deal that, and more, in a single strike.



She can also cast it on party members, too, as could be expected.



It's not very powerful, though. Leave's Magic Defense is pretty paltry, you'll recall, so Blizzaga doing something that low to him is kind of sad.





This was a Leave hit when using Deadly. I expected more, to be honest.



Also, for whatever fucking reason, Lunar Shiva can use Blaze. I don't get it, unless it's a very cold fire.



It deals decent enough damage, but it's preferable to Ice Storm.



Anyways, let's just skip to the end of the fight. Kim blew her head off with Firaga, if you were wondering about the last hit.



And, just like Lunar Titan, we receive her Grimoire after her defeat. She also gives the exact same amount of gil and experience, too.



And good on you for it, Champ. I think you'll make a fine monarch one day.



A final Specter appears and thanks Champ for his work.



And, just like at the end of Leave's Trial, we win a new accessory for Champ.





See what I mean when I said Cecil saying that can just kind of kill whatever mood they were going for? Jesus, Cecil.



No stat boosts from this thing, but it does have a pretty kickass effect. I'll be showing it off soon enough, so cool your jets on chatting about it.



And we leave this place, done with it now and forever.



That does it for the Bard's Trial, so we're done with this update!

Next time, another day, another Trial. Stay tuned!