Final Fantasy IX Part #3

Part 3: Herp Derp

DocFrance posted:

Seriously, why would you not have Cid in your party at every possible opportunity?

I dunno, my roommate played FF7 on PSN and he said he didn't like Cid because he was kind of a misogynist asshole. I guess if you don't like misogynists, you won't use Cid. Even though he can practically oneshot Emerald Weapon.

It gets dark really fast this time of year.

Looks like Puck and his, uh, slave made it.

And who might this fat-ass, butt-ugly fellow be?

Lots of new faces today.

i am quite proud of having captured this image btw

This track isn't actually included on FF9's OST, but it makes a cameo in FFX if you pay attention once you arrive in Luca for the first time.

(Yes due to popular demand I will try to include soundtrack links and if you all behave perhaps I will throw in a few interesting alternatives--some by what seems to be a pretty obscure pair of Italians who did excellent remixes in the middle part of this decade--and maybe we will get even more intense hate for Motoi Sakuraba if you're all very lucky)

(don't ever say i don't do things for you guys)

The last time I saw someone that morbidly obese make a face like this was when a guy in boarding school had an epiphany that you can eat KFC at the same time that you are taking a shit.

It turned out as amusingly as you would expect, of course.

(oh by the way this scene is pretty fucking spectacular)

I'm glad someone is enjoying the show.

"sometimes they make faces at me"
"when they make faces at you, how does it make you feel?"
"it upsets me"

My, this update is so full of wonderful facial expressions.

Taste My Blade

And this

"She attempts to flee the castle, only to be captured by her father, King Leo.

When our story begins, Marcus, having heard of this, crosses swords with the King.

And now, Your Royal Majesty, Queen Brahne, Your Highness, Princess Garnet..."

THIS is how you start a fucking game properly.

Now, there's a whole script to this, but damned if I'm typing or posting it out. It's quite good, but you can look it up if you're that into it--better just to find a video of it, honestly. But we'll get the gist of it anyway.

the #1 problem with the influence of aave on the school system is that it makes the whole classroom roar with laughter when shakespeare writes "ho," then ask the teacher what a whore is

for all the lines in this play, I am pretty sure this is the only one that rhymes, and it doesn't even use meter

Now as much as I want to steal that most excellent sword off of King Leo

it was not meant to be on account of Steal being replaced with stage effects, which is basically magic that does 0 damage. It's completely visual, but it's still fun to see what it looks like.

Well, it is if you're easily entertained by pretty blinking lights like I am.

but then if you aren't easily entertained by shiny lights, then you probably have no soul

The idea, of course, is to simply mash Attack until you win.

schneider? i hate that fucking actor, that's a horrible plan blank

This is, however, for whatever reason, one of my favorite lines in this game.

And now,

a QTE minigame.

Some may prefer to immerse themselves in the sense that they are listening to a real orchestra.

Are you excited? Because Kilika and Blank are so excited about doing this, they run past Marcus so fast he loses his balance.

So basically the idea is to follow these instructions here.

You get about thirty or forty commands to input, and are graded based on your speed and accuracy.

Clearly I messed up a few times.

Oops.

Offscreen, a conversation somewhat akin to this happened:
"Dude I know you have one of those wired 360 controllers"
"Yeah so"
"Can I borrow it"
"Don't you have a fucking 360 controller"
"Well yeah but it's wireless and my charge adapter doesn't send wired signals through USB and that's what I need"
"Okay whatev"

"Wait what are you even going to do"