Part 11: Tourist 1 - Dali

having a siesta i see


"no habla ingles"


"what's wrong?"
"it's one of those damn immigrants who pretends to be hawaiian but as though you couldn't tell they aren't at a glance as soon as they open their mouths you really know they aren't hawaiian*"

_{*this actually happens in hawaii and it sickens me}


"he'll never call the cops, he's an illegal"


"Why did you want to leave the castle, Holly?"

After a little critical thinking...

"I see. If you hadn't been caught, you would've reached Lindblum by now.
But now... we'll have to cross South Gate on foot."


"well we'll just make makakao swallow some condoms with cocaine in 'em, they'll search him guarantee 'cause he's different, then we'll make a break for it while homeland security is busy"


"But I cannot tell you why... But... please..."




"He probably just wants sex!"


"Oh, that's right, you're trying to get her to bang you, too. Aren't you, like, old enough to be her dad"
"That is irrelevant!"




"Look buddy we already have a plan. Unless, like, you wanna roll around in gunpowder or someshit, they'll search you too with all that metal strapped to you"


"Man, small people snore really loud."




Well imagine this song without the harp accompaniment. And without that furry on the side there (seriously only chose that specific link because the image with it is just what)


no it was emiko shiratori but i suppose that in this context yes it may as well have been


damn, that bed must've had fleas, lemme just scratch my ass here

(I don't know why the art director thought it would be wise to have an "ass scratching" animation but it becomes a major theme very soon)


while we watch some ATEs


I think "ruckus" is an understatement but okay


Nobody died in Evil Forest, I mean Blank got totally baked but that's dead per se








no they eat people and live in vaginas, i thought you were supposed to be educated



"(Wait. Kilika told me to try and blend in...)"





I love Color Fortunes. It's pointless, of course, but I love it anyway.








No, you haven't. At least, I haven't, because I've never found a store in Lindblum that sells gemstones, but maybe I'll look harder this playthrough.

Other fortunes include:

Bad Omen
There are good days, and
there are bad days.
*
You may be prone to injury
and sickness today.
Be careful of losing items and
meeting strangers.
*
You are better off staying
home today.

Very Good Omen
An auspicious day for you
to go out and have fun!
*
You'll find lost money
and lost items.
You'll also eat lots of yummy
food, and meet interesting people.
*
Go out and share your luck
with the ones you love!

Good Omen
A nice day to relax and
put your mind at ease.
*
Lost things will be
returned to you, and
you will eat foods that are
gentle to your body.
*
A good day to spend
indoors or out!

Good Omen
A good day filled with
many of life's simple pleasures.
*
A nice breeze will greet you
as you step out.
You will make new friends
and replace a lost item
with a new one.
*
Be yourself and let
fortune come to you.

These fortunes are just so


oh boy!

white like a

_{unfortunate imagery}





When you leave this room, you can see another ATE:



"SHORT"


SEGREGATION




We also have a letter for this Save Moogle.


What's so special about this Stiltzkin asshole? I don't see him delivering mail and shit




What a jerk, he does speak English. Just, not to me, only to his cat. Which, incidentally, probably only understands Spanish.


Hal's brother is the mayor of this village, by the way.


Well I was traveling with a LOT of different kinds of assholes. Hard to say which one he's talking about here.


You can also check out this window if you like.




It counts as a screen transition, so we can see yet another ATE.




"I'm from the country"
"Aren't we all"


Suddenly, this little asshole bursts in.





If you enter the shop after viewing this ATE...

"(What's she looking at?)"


"that had better be some pakalolo the way you're looking at it"


"I-It's nothing. I'm fine."



This segues into something about her ad-libbing in the play at the beginning of the game.



"Should I talk more like her?"




"Alrighty. Catch you later."


You can read a bit about the card game if you examine the area Holly was standing.

We also go shopping here. There is little of note, but I buy a few things.

It's mostly for the abilities, seeing as how we'll be getting a direct upgrade to this hat very soon.


This gives us a little clue as to what's going on in this village.

We can also look through the window again to see this:


Entering the house at the top shows us this:

With a knowledge of basic Hawaiian vocabulary at 13, this particular character--in relation to his role in this game (said role being solely to tell you to get the fuck out of his house)--was pretty interesting to me.

Cryptolinguistically related to the Austronesian "Taboo," in Hawaiian, a Kapu is "something forbidden"; on one hand, Kapu could be used as a "keep out" deal, but there were cultural Kapus on foods that women were not allowed to eat and so on, so the term can be applied conceptually as well. Long story short, Mayor Kapu is basically telling you that his house is Kapu.


"One of what?"
"THEM"
"An alien?"
"Well that's the politically-correct way to put it yes"






"He's probably doing it to get laid. And he's probably old enough to be your father. That's awful.

... Actually, that sounds kind of familiar..."


Damn, now I'm hungry.




this house is just full of very unfortunate scriptwriting


Japan loves their weird liqueurs, but whatev', Midori and some seltzer water isn't bad. I kind of wonder what a Gyshal Liqueur would taste like, though.

OFFICIAL THREAD CHALLENGE:
A) Again, still hoping for a working Her Majesty cocktail. Gin plus anything sweet doesn't work, which is why I tried, by the way.
B) Make a Gyshal Liqueur cocktail

i shall keep an arbitrary running score in the op the only prize of which shall be that you will be crowned king of the e-penis mountain




I hear ya, Hipsters ruin everything

Now let's swing by that windmill that Makakao wanted to see so badly.



The first Stellazio Coin can be found behind the hill of milled flour. It will come into play later, of course.


As will this door. Much later.


Same story here, too.



NEXT TIME: SLAVE LABOR