Part 14: We Used to Have to Walk Uphill Both Ways
Both Ways
"Come on, your honor, it's not like I sawed my wife's head off on purpose"
"i hope you do"
someone forgot a past tense affix
"Maybe she'll reward me with a kiss or two if try hard enough."
"It's Makakao..."
"Yes, he's a midget. I know."
"That's because they know you're a gay midget."
"I am so over this little not-person's bullshit"
"Call her a fat fuck and tender your resignation"
"then we can have buddy adventures, you can be the 'fat old cop'"
"In the engine room."
"All is well now. This ship is returning to the castle.
You will be hanged for the kidnapping of a member of the royal family! Enjoy your freedom while you can."
Isn't he just the most
those animators were fucking pervs, look at how many times they have this airship just bare naked ass at us
ANGRY MINORITIES
"'Sup Xena, you put on some weight"
"I don't see why you don't turn the airship back around right now
Ohhhh, I get it, somebody never passed their airship license exam"
"You shut up right now!"
"Have you ever seen how angry an immigrant gets when someone steals their ride?"
"... Well. Good job, Huihui."
what is even happening here
"i'm SO interested"
"Nonsense. You are no different from mindless dolls! What can you do?"
Games just don't have that Silent Film quality anymore.
If this were to happen today, this would have a lot of forced, convoluted screaming.
And sobbing.
This is more effective than any measure of realistic graphics will ever be.
"I'm just gonna watch, 'kay? It's always funny seeing tall people beat up midgets"
"We'll take care of the Black Waltz. You steer the ship.
Things are gonna get even more dangerous from here on. It's not too late to turn back.
You can go back to the castle or cross South Gate into Lindblum. It's your choice!"
"Women, I tell ya"
insert toni morrison intra-racial hierarchy joke here
"Kilika don't you think it's insensitive to ask someone what race they are"
UNFORTUNATE IMAGERY
Black Waltz #3 has the -ara level Thunder spell, which is somewhat intimidating considering that we won't be getting anything like it until damn near the second disc, if not later. It is, however, a non-threat since we have Silk Shirts equipped, and Huihui has enough HP to tank a number of these.
He also carries a Steepled Hat, a Linen Cuirass, and Silver Gloves. You never, ever want to sell Silver Gloves.
Just to show it off, this is Kilika's Detect ability, which shows what an enemy has left in their steal slots.
Damn, Huihui is like our MVP already.
And he just flies away.
"... You do realize that means that we've just erased the last of an entire race of people from the face of the earth. How does that make you feel?"
Actually yeah, it is all his fault.
no. 3 is like when you have to do no. 1 and no. 2 at the same time right
"There's nothing we can do now!
Run away!"
"What I'm trying to say is, women can't drive."
"He's mad that you just tried to ethnically cleanse him"
"Rusty! Turn the power up to max with that lever over there!"
FUCK GAME STOP THAT
"YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET BACK IN THE FUCKING CAR"
"NO DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON THE HOOD YOU DUMB SHIT"
"I am so disappointed in you"
oh look we made it through because they were just all smoking so much weed over in south gate, that billow of ganja smoke is like bigger than this airship
"Hey, it wasn't my fault that Shorty decided to go highway surfin'"
"The city of Lindblum is inside the castle."
"(Just when we were beginning to get close...)"
"... Kilika."
"Ain't got time for this"
Do you know why it's called Falcon's Gate?
Because it has a huge fucking falcon painted on it.
It doesn't matter that this FMV would've been a million times crisper and more beautiful these days. If it was made today, this scene would have an overlay of some booming faggotvoice saying something like, "THE DORF-CASTILLE OF HLYNDBLOMMOA!" while some horribly-unmatching ambient overcompressed Masashi Hamauzu track played in the background.
FF9 was the last of the truly glorious games.
fuck alexander o smith with a spoon