Part 24: Do Chocobos Dream of [censored]

I don't see how you could do a No Customization No Armor No Summon No Overdrive run of FFX because there are lategame bosses who use desparation counters that wipe your party.

Also
Might is not a hard counter. It's an action counter, I've attacked tons of Lamias who didn't counter at all because I queued up the commands while it was casting a spell.




oh fuck


he must think i'm smuggling coke in my gigantic metal trousers


"I'd come closer, but you're carrying those stinky pickles! See? I'm leaving it right here!"


He does leave it on the ground, but it looks exactly like the ticket for "I Want to be Your Crow."

NOW



we can get shit done.


"Yes!"
"Thank you. I will come out now. Please keep an eye out."






This is a silly decision that you have a little less than a second to make. You basically have to know it's coming to be able to select an option, because it purposefully automatically progresses that quickly.




you are such a perv huihui




"Okay, let's go!"




"I managed it without Kilika's help...!"

There's also a signpost that you can check out.





Unfortunately, we can't go back to get that treasure box at the top of the ladder. That will have to wait.


stona is a spell


these moogles are lazier than our mustachioed mail lady


So apparently the name of this train is Berkmea. Not really sure why, but whatev', they paint the names of airplanes on the side of those, too.


"Away from you"




"I knew this would happen, I told you not to sit by me you jerk"






"shut uuuuuuuuup already"


"No I'm a paraplegic you insensitive bitch, those asshole clowns stole my wheels"




So here we are on the other side of Gizamaluke's Grotto.


We can give Makakao the weapon we stole from Gizamaluke, which teaches him a nice and effective mid-tier elemental spell.


This gate is right next to Gizamaluke's Grotto.




What made FFT's original translation so good was that the original script writers recognized that they were full of shit. There was that scene with Beowulf in the bar with the guys all like "I got a good feeling! This job was a gift from God!" thing on the side and the party leader is all "you guys are fuckin' weirdos"

This is, of course, lost when people take their localization job too seriously and change a tongue-in-cheek script into something ridiculously deadpan and serious. uh i mean syriouuse


Can you imagine what this scene would be like if it were re-localized today?


I mean, with all the dead fucking seriousness and autofellatio Enix is so obsessed with?


"ðov ʃouldn'st dwell vpon ðysse, yon compænion is tovched vpon its head by an fovl mægickse"


"Heark! The flora vpon ðis lænd tastes of an summer on a fine spring morn"


"Nay, Zhdjyonne, your reasonynge belies Xwynna's true whyt"


"Bvt before we do depart, allowe miy to reiterrate hovv mægnyfycynte ðæt genyouse Æleksænder O. Smiθ ys! Hwy, wiθout hymm, oure lourd ynd sevyourre, wey maght naught speeke soe!"

fuck him

fuck them

fuck y'all

fuck burmecia


we got other places to be



well fuck this place too


that's not what we came here for anyway (we're not here for this, either)


This is the our next stop on our Chocobo Journey. These tracks here are the only way to summon Choco to this area.