Part 30: Tootsie

Today, we'll buy some things from the auction.

I wouldn't buy that even if it was still beating


This is related to an interesting little easter egg, but we have better things to be spending our money on at the moment.


The next item is a Madain's Ring. There is nothing particularly fantastic about it, but we'll get it anyway.


The best way to win an item is to bid an outrageously large sum for it. Not too much, but if you go in planning to pay somewhere between twenty to fifty thousand Gil for a featured item (the last item on the auction list), you won't be disappointed.






YOU ASSHOLE


The game tends to be less willing to bid against you if you make a big jump from the previous bid. If you bid in 100 Gil increments, the game will probably keep going no matter how high you run the price, just to cockblock you.


Good thing, too, because that was my last 14,700 Gil.


Well I suppose that was sort of worth it. But now that we're flat-out broke, it's time to make some money.


"Lord Afon. O: True X: False"

Of course this is false. It was written by Lord Avon, and is mentioned in the question dialogue with the ticketmaster in the beginning of the game as Makakao.






We spend about an hour fighting the Mandragoras in the forest. They require a very specific strategy to be able to beat effectively. See, they have a free-to-activate skill that does (Max HP - Current HP) damage, so you have to take them out in one quick barrage. And we do, and we gain a substantial number of levels.


Incidentally, when we return to Treno, we happen upon this.


The Pearl Rouge synergizes excellently with the Reflect Ring.


The Reflect Ring teaches Auto-Reflect, and the Pearl Rouge teaches Reflect-Null to Holly. This is a great passive ability that allows all spells to ignore Reflect. This way, you can have characters protected by Auto-Reflect, but cast heal spells through it with Reflect-Null. Also an option for offensive casters is to shoot a spell through Reflect, but most enemies with Reflect protection are bosses, and you can just not equip this ability and bounce spells off yourself in that case.








This is a cute sequence.


If not only because Holly just does not give a fuck.


And because everyone just talks over Huihui like he wasn't even there.




"It is my duty to protect the Princess for bad influence!"

Isn't he just the most character ever?


"... you ain't changed. Do you even know why you're here?"

Meanwhile



I think anyone's day is better when they don't have to see people whose ears have their own chins.


"A pretty lady? Shall I arrange a meeting?"

For all the shit folks give Kuja about being super gay, I think it's more of a case that he's Straight But Fabulous. One of my friends is like that, Fabulous but only interested in women. Someone described him once as a "fairy-o", and as a linguist, I give this colloquialism my seal of approval.






And besides. Kuja is a great villain. Any antagonist who plays it up theatrically to the point where people circle their fingers at their heads and make faces behind their backs is fine by me.




"No... I must be patient.
Protect the princess. Escort her back to the castle. Focus on your duties...
Trust the queen. She would never commit an atrocity."


Huihui: poster child of the New World Order


"I wouldn't be here hunting after Supersoft to save one of your friends.
Why am I doing this...?
Because Blank saved me? Yes, he saved me.
He saved my life... The least I can do is return the favor..."


It's scenes like these--not necessarily because of content, but because of how they're set up in visual parallel--and some of the more awkward dialogues and options present in the game, that make me wonder if Huihui was originally planned to be a much younger knight vying for the princess' attentions against Kilika, rather than a misguided father-figure sort of deal. It might've added another layer of contrivance, but if this is the case, then I'm glad things turned out the way they did. It's much more professional, and makes Huihui much more likeable.

You know it would've happened if FF9 were FF13. If this is the case, Sakaguchi probably put his foot down and said, "my money, fuck you." Except in very polite Japanese. Executive Producers can be funny like that.




One might think that Kilika is a better foil for Huihui, but like Kuja, he's almost too over-the-top. Marcus' succinct workings pull this off much better.


This is the Synthesis Shop, by the way.








"no"




You know what else I like about these silent games? This.

These days, Huihui would be a repulsive oaf with a really annoying voice actor. Without voice, however, much like a book, it's up to the dialogue to establish that he is inappropriately loud all the time. And unless the writing is hideous, a book won't make you dislike a character by the text itself being annoying.






"Go left from the Treno entrance, and continue until you find a large tower.
The tower is my home. It's locked, but I shall unlock the door and await your arrival."








"Whatever. I can't believe Tantalus is at the mercy of some old man."

Did I mention how much I like this translation? It's excellent because whoever did the finishing touches is very studied in the English language. There's understanding the English language natively, and there's knowing it intimately. And when you know it intimately, you can make anything sound native, but you tend to make it sound a bit stilted if you only know it natively. The strategic removal of "that"s is mind-blowing, but it's also something you wouldn't notice because it sounds so natural.




This sequence, too, would be appallingly slapstick if it were voiced. In text, it's comical.

NEXT TIME

SUGGESTIVE MENSTRUATION