Part 37: The Awful Escape

why did they have to put so much detail on the shape of his pubes


"I think he started running the other way when you got naked"


You're being our physical DPS now get your ass down here Tin Man




"I want you to escort the princess out of Alexandria and take her to Doctor Tot.
I'm sure Doctor Tot can come up with a plan to help us and our kingdom."

If I had been playing FF9 for the first time today, I would totally be in my Suikoden zone right now. Recruit the doctor, raise an army, liberate Alexandria... I would be sorely disappointed.




Huihui




"No one cares. Move it or lose it."


"I think you should shut up and pull your weight"




"YEAH WELL I WOULD IF YOU'D STOP ONE-SHOTTING EVERYTHING"

(Actually Stock Break will not one-shot these guys, but brings them down to less than 100 HP. You need to at least use Climhazzard)






uhh what


See even 'Iole thinks you're crazy, Huihui, just do your job




"Again? Why didn't you warn me about this?"
"You can't expect me to remember everything okay"
"What is there not to remember about getting stuck in a giant fucking cage?"
"Look my mother just locked me in her rape dungeon don't you think you can cut me some slack"
"NO"




FF9: donkey-punching clowns













"what the fuck is a gargant
it sounds like it was made in korea and has some gimmick shit like a ten year warranty and the most disturbing commercials ever"

(no seriously fuck kia and fuck their commercial department i want to kill someone every time i see one of those spots)








"Yeah, they're fighting for you, but also, they know, deep down inside, that they have to fight!"

ku i ka pono


look kilika i know you're trying to get her to move her ass but this is language for a different kind of ass-moving

i say this as a linguist who uses his powers for evil




"We're going to Treno. We'll stay there for the time being and try to figure out our next move."






Yes


Yes it is. It has eyes. And a mouth.

Thank God.


I don't know why I bothered stealing this I ended up with like 15 of them by the end of the game


Also he can cast Mini on your dudes, which lowers physical defense and attack power.






"It's a damn bug, it doesn't even know what scared is"






WHAT


"fucking fuck makakao throw some spells at it"
"no i'm too scared"
"throw some goddamn magic at it or i'll throw you at it"


This is just one of those Small Things. I love how it establishes the shot where you speed past Treno by just showing a couple of Oglops chillin'