Part 50: 420 Make Mist Every Day

oh my god i just LOVE this who is your interior decorator




the iifa tree, now in beautiful radioactive green!




nah all trees look like this on the inside you're just uneducated





are you being gay with me again i told you to stop that



"Or maybe we have to go down there?"









oh yeah the screen shakes and shit and holly falls down or something




"It's who?"
"THEM"
"Yeah but who are they?"
"I... uh"




wait what that did not come out of the wall, it just came out of the floor

what the wall moving faster even have to do with that




"It is not produced... Mist is a by-product of the refining process. It is discharged through the roots."


"I contaminate the other continents with Mist to stimulate the fighting instinct."

so mist is basically un- smoke


"Kuja merely pus the by-product to a different use.
I cannot lie. Kuja used the waste to make weapons. Weapons...like yourself."




"Kuja called them black mages, dark spawn of the Mist.
Defeat me, and no more Mist will flow.
And then no more weapons like this puppet here will be made."








well i'd say something like "hey ugly" but tbh his design is kind of cool for being a tree thing

it's certainly more threatening than exdeath was


So apparently there's an easy to way to do this, and a hard way.


Reportedly, the easy way is to use a Phoenix Down. But only bitches do that. The hard way to fight it normally. If you cast a fire spell on it, it will start to use this super-powerful attack.

Oh yeah it also casts Fira so if you have Auto-Reflect on, you can totally screw yourself.


If you cast ice magic on it, though, the fire goes out.


It'll only use plain old Leaf Swirl instead, which does like a third of the damage of Fire Blades, and is non-elemental in case you have armor that gives you a Fire weakness (pretty much everything that isn't Knight Armor).


If you have Makie summon Fenrir










it will make Kazuma Kiryu wish he could punch that hard.




not really sure what's going on here


but apparently the mist is all disappearing or something






oh look mistake there's supposed to be a HUGE waterfall in front of alexandria


Yes, that instantly.

Also Youtube doesn't have that FMV except in compilations and that's too bad because it's quite a nice one.




"Now, let's see if Kuja shows up."


"Now, there'll be no more new black mages.
I think they'll all hate me."




"Oh yeah I'm sure they

won't"
""




"No way!
Okay, I'll be right back!"







•••






oh shit it must've been the bodyspray monster

AXE came into vogue in Hawaii when I was still in boarding school. I thought it smelled horrible then, and I still think so now. But then, I can't stand any body scent items, whether it's cologne or perfume or whatever. They make me ill.

A few of the older buildings had central air conditioning in them--not because you need heating or whatever, but because it gets hot as hell sometimes--whereas the newer buildings had individual AC units in each room.

One slow weekend, we decided to have campus adventures and sneak into (i.e., breaking and entering) one of those buildings since nobody was in it, I don't really think there was a point other than that. We found a second-floor window that had been left ajar and got in. We later realized that we should've just had one guy go in and open the front door for us. I mean it's how we got out

After we spent some time chillin' in the air-conditioned classroom, one of my friends revealed that he'd brought a tin of AXE; he had decided beforehand that he was going to spray some into the air vents. Troublemakers, of course, always carry the tools of the trade, so we undid the grating, my bro gave the can a mighty shake, and, (to this day, how this even happened is a mystery to me) somehow, it got punctured or the aerosol mechanism malfunctioned or something and it started spraying like crazy and we could not shut it off.

"What the fuck did you do!?"
"Brah wasn't me!"
"What you mean, wasn't you, you were the only one who touched it!"
"Pff, so-orry!"
"Well shit we could never sneak back to the dorm quietly enough with that thing spraying everywhere, security is totally gonna know something is up"
"Wait I got an idea"
"It better be a fuckin' good one, I'm pissed enough seeing as how I'm gonna smell like that AXE dogpiss all night"
"Okay here watch"

And he tossed it down the vent. We listened to it clatter and hiss on the way down and hoped it hadn't been loud enough for anyone who might've been outside to hear. And we got the fuck out of there.

The entire building smelled sickeningly of AXE Neon Invisible Goat or whatever retarded name they gave that scent for the rest of the year. The smell even lingered the following year and still licked at the nostrils by the time I graduated that May.

I learned a lot of highly-suspect skills while I was there. I've never found a use for them since, but I guess it's just one of those things you never use until you do.



"My grandparents said..."



yes kilika crying will cure cancer and make businesspeople flay themselves


"I so do not have time for this posturing"




"OH LOOK I FOUND IT!"
"REALLY!?"
"haha no"




"You understand, right? The real villain is the thief who stole it.
So let's just look for some clues, and get that stone back, okay?"
"Okay!"

Well that was easy












her face looks so absolutely despondent in this screenshot


these are things you don't need to worry about when your ps3's port resolution is as bad as a ps1

Really now, how can a company be so fucking lazy that they can't crank up the resolution in a re-release on a HD platform? I mean it's not like the hi-res textures aren't already fucking there. But this is Enix we're talking about. They can take a good thing and make it horrible.

I mean Cloud was a little wishy-washy and goofy, but in general he was still a cool and kinda-badass guy. And then Enix gave him Magic Cancer and turned him into a pining, brooding fashion disaster with a complex. I mean that is somehow even worse than any fanfic in which he grows an/additional penis/es.


"Hey, I was serious."




"Dammit! The thief was still here!"


"Whoa, what? That miner was a girl? Weeeeeeird."
"They went to the Eidolon Wall!"


"sounds good makakao now i have more important things to do in the meantime if you don't mind"

NEXT TIME

"you know, the thing where i hoist you up and help you do a slam dunk"

_{holy shit you probably aren't well-read enough to get that one hah hah hah}