Part 63: We Call it Chillaxin'

Yeah sorry there hasn't been a crazy updating speed lately. I'm not getting burned out, it's just that my bro just lost his job at the pharmacy after losing a managerial position to a total bitch over office politics, who then worked her ass off to get him out because while she was in with the company, he was the only worker skilled enough to actually hold the position. This apparently pissed of a lot of workers who wanted him as manager and definitely didn't want that lady lording over them, so about a quarter of the rest of the pharmacy walked out as well when he got the politically-motivated axe.

There is no bellyaching involved. It's just that when you have a group of unemployed boarding school comrades in Hawaii's hideous economy, and Internet, you tend to do a lot less LPing and a lot more Starcraft 2, Civ 5, and Borderlands. I'd ask for additional fun (and cheap) multiplayer suggestions but you guys probably won't give them to me on account of NEVER getting updates then.

But I'm getting my new computer parts in within the week and it'll be fantastic and able to actually, y'know, run more than one program at once without melting, so maybe we'll get a bonus update of Play Da Computa Nintendo out of it or someshit.

'

Today, let's chillax in Lindblum







"No. You don't wanna know where it's been"


So until we get all three potions, we can ask everyone about the potions, or just get their regular conversation.


This is of course another very famous line in FF9. I don't know what this references, revoke my nerd license if you want, w/e




There are lots of things to do in Lindblum.




i hope he died




"You can have it. It's too old to sell anyway."


"'Smoke weed... drink wine... get naked... no homo.'
=Murder Most Fabulous="


Actually he can't because his stock is the exact same as it was in Alexandria


There's a market in romance novels for something like this, I'm sure, but I wouldn't touch it with a fifty-foot battle lance.




--oh no


FUCK NO FUCK Kal is like That Guy Everyone Knows who would tag along when you'd all go to buy beer* and he'd mooch off of you and owed one of your friends $50 and you totally knew he'd never pay the lot of you back. And he acted like you were the best buddies in the entire goddamn world every time he saw you, except when he got pushy and asked you what you were gonna do about it, little brown boy, when you asked him, very politely, to turn his $2500 speaker system down at two in the morning for the fiftieth time in as many weekdays.

At which point you kicked his ass even though he's one of those six-foot-ten giant people. And were lucky that he was too scared shitless of you thereafter to press charges. And then you feel very ashamed and beat yourself up over it for a few days, because you don't like it when you lose it like that.

MORAL OF THE STORY: wealthy white subtly-racist twiggy asshole WoW addicts who have more posters and flags and wall scrolls of Tupac than I do of dragon books and collectibles don't know how to fight but for pushing and posturing. Which is hilarious in retrospect, but you don't think about that when the adrenaline is going. Plus you guys just know that someone reading this thread is inevitably gonna be offended by this hauntingly accurate description and will feel the need to post about browns being racist toward white people.

Which I'm not because this a case study, and which I don't like either unless it's in complete jest, but this IS the Internet...

And yes there are Tupac wall scrolls. Unfortunately, they are just printed on fabric and have those roll-up bits, and do not actually depict an Anime Tupac.

_{*Or whisky, as the case may be, but in a university setting you aren't gonna find very many people who prefer a light buzz from a nip or three of scotch over getting crunk with three-quarters of a case of Bud, I mean I ain't criticize but I just never been much one for that}








"Fuck that, Dan was an asshole. He was always putting the moves on Fratley"






MAI FURATORII




AAAAAAAAAAARGH I SHOULD'VE LET YOU ALL DIE


"Honestly I don't know but I owe his buddy, some Makakao guy, $75 for beer and hamburgers"


There's an investigation point here, but sometimes, a ! is just a !.








"Hell no, I wanted Kuja to blast one of my legs so I could need a pimpin' cane like Dr House
all engravin' into the side 'smokin a blunt or three / whatever the case may be'"
"Kilika, acting in plays does not make you a playwright"
"Yeah I know "


"Do you happen to have the Unusual Potion?"
"Yeah."









•••




•••








oh fucking fuck dr tot he's disappearing

that's rpg body language for "dying" what the fuck did you do











Even Doctor Tot, who appears in all of, what, five short scenes in this game, has a custom animation.




I love this shrug. "OH WELL"




"I wanted to <ribbit> become a man again, but this is all I got."


Actually, I don't think you learn about having stolen a ship unless you ask Blank about how you got out of Alexandria, instead of asking him about where Holly is.






"NO"




"FINE, If it'll shut you up, you petulant brat"






"I went work construction one time. Paid pretty good, actually, but I lost my job when da housing bubble--"


"--Oh bu I so hungry"


"You've never seen a pickle before?"
"No. First time."
"In that case, you should try one. I think you'll like it."
"Okay! I eat!"








"Where you go, Kilika!? I travel everywhere, look all over for you!"


"What, you jealous? I know how much you like fat chicks
So, Blank, you're coming, too?"










"Man the last time I said a physically visible word, it was in Rudra's Secret Treasure"


FUCK YES BOAT


Using Boat, we can go to the Salvage Archipelago down here and call Choco.


That shadow there will be important later, but it also won't necessarily be there later.


And now


it's time to play the shit out of Chocobo Hot and Cold.



NOTE on CHILLAX

In HCE, Chillax does not have the negative connotations you get with orange-skinned venetian blinds-glasses-wearing PBR-drinking Bros in the continental US. It is, however, probably a loan word from Those People, but with the speed and breadth of proliferation these days, it's hard to tell where the most modern slangs originated.

My boarding school had a yearly tradition, the SONG CONTEST, in which the four levels of high school classes would get together and sing Hawaiian songs competitively. Whether they're a hundred years old or composed a hundred days before, as long as they're "traditionally"--i.e. 1800s-ey--Hawaiian in chord progression and tempo and theme and (especially) subversive and suggestive language, it's fair game. Loved by your grandparents and your auntys, dreaded by the students, it all sounds rather beautiful, but when your group is under the spotlight, it's terribly different and the last thing on your mind is how nice it sounds, and more about how the judges are biased towards the upperclassmen, about how people are gonna be salty about how you guys won for the rest of the school year, how awesome the food you sneaked into the arena is gonna be once the lights go down and they start doing the ho'ike section of the program, etc.

I will always remember the linked song to the day I die because of a thing a good friend of mine once said about Song Contest. The way things are going, by the time my kids, his kids, the next generation, would be old enough to attend the same boarding school, the perception of and self-respect for the Hawaiian culture would've degenerated so much that they'd be singing Chillax as a Traditional Hawaiian Song. It was all a good laugh, but hopefully the culture will never decay to that point again (but I mean it already did once). You never know.