Part 76: Imaginary Tentacle Monster
"There old saying in my tribe..."
Never change, Iz.
So because I have awesome powers of precognition, I know we'll want Auto-Float for the upcoming encounter.
GAME OVER QTES BEFORE GAME OVER QTES WERE POPULAR
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"Don't you get all Star Fox on me, I hate that memetic shit"
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"We almost flat like pancake!"
"What did I just tell you about reciting shitty mem--"
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"That's only because you cheesed the shit out of everything with your 9999-damage attack"
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"I used to know someone like that. He was a loser...
He refused to find beneficial ways to use his power. Instead, he'd seek out people to fight..."
A boy can pull off a masterstroke, but it takes a man to do one that takes a shot at himself.
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what
"We can defeat this monster if we work together!"
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Iz is pretty much the best.
"Why are you trying to get to another planet?"
"Because holy shit I'm hungry"
The Earth Guard, as you can probably guess, likes to use a lot of earth magic. However, there being only one earth-element spell in the game (Iz's Earth Shake blue magic), he just ends up being kind of a pushover.
He carries the Avenger, I forget what it actually but I'm pretty sure it's a glove that teaches Kawelo some pretty sweet skills.
(I've been catching frogs if you couldn't tell)
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Anyone familiar with FF1, of course, will recognize the bosses we just fought as the four fiends. We saw Kary/Marilith, Makakao and Huihui were fighting Tiamat, and we just fought Lich.
That of course leaves Kraken, but I didn't play FF1 until boarding school, and I played FF9 before I got there, so this entire sequence was completely lost on me. I'm sure it was rather Mother 3-esque for familiar players, though.
"Oh, I completely forgot! And we're all alone, too!
There's a question I need to ask you!
I've been waiting for a chance to ask you for the longest time!
Give me an honest answer, okay?"
yeah i know dudes ain't supposed to smile at this shit but unironically but look gimme a break you jerks
"You have to answer me! Do you love him or not?"
I know it's up to the player at this point, and I didn't even think of it until after, but even having an option like this is a sort of evolution in Kilika's character. In a lesser script, Kilika would've gone straight to the "Of course I do everything for the chick!" or to "Man I hate that Kuja asshole"
"I didn't say that. Maybe I do it because I don't know what motivates me.
To understand something is interesting, but what's already understood is boring.
I'm sure we'll understand something when we get to Shimmering Island and go to Terra."
"I lost against his way of thinking..."
We also stole a Rubber Suit from the Earth Guard.
Only girls can equip it--including 'Iole--but that makes Eye 4 Eye almost completely useless. What it does is it greatly increases the rate at which your counterattack activates, but the problem therein is that neither Holly nor Makie can even counter in the first place, and that 'Iole will usually not even be a targetable character.
There are a few things to be done before we head over to the Shimmering Island and get to Terra.
"Let's see. Your treasure hunter rank is..."
"P-pardon me for my rudeness!"
"To be honest, I'm not famous or anything.
I'm just a loser rank-D treasure hunter.
But someday, I'm gonna become a rank-S treasure hunter like yourself."
Since we're in a place designed to have quite pre-industrial architecture...
Civ 5 kinda lies to you.
I know it's just a result of re-skinning the Asian city model set, but Hawaiian architecture, post-contact but pre-modern era--basically late-renaissance and industrial-era stuff--looked nothing like how it's depicted there.
Even though I think our first contact with western culture was either Spanish or Portuguese Christian missionaries, our architectural and cultural influences came mostly from England.
Most accurately, it was kind of a meshing between renaissance gothic architecture influenced by the hale and heiau designs.
The most permanent examples are 'Iolani Palace, Kawaiha'o Cathedral, and the royal mausoleum grounds (which are recognized as holding a sovereign status separate from other countries [even though it's only like a quarter of a fucking acre]).
Actual modern Hawaiian architecture is jokingly referred to as what happens when Hawaiians get their hands on very cheap land and build a tiny little house on it with what money they have left, then build around the original homestead once they have the funds to do so.
You end up with a house with different-colored interiors and sometimes outer sideboard that stripes vertically on one part, and horizontally on another. Sometimes, your interior walls are sideboards that used to be outdoor walls.
It's kind of funny, but kind of sad too.
It boils down to economic disenfranchisement.
Tangentially, I once had to defend the position of growing and selling marijuana because in some places in Hawaii, due to both the economy and just the jobs available to the local population, it is literally the only way that certain households can generate income.
Their counter-argument was, "well, if they can't afford to live, they don't deserve to live"
There is such a thing as being criminally ignorant, but he was one of those whiny bitch sorts of folks, so beating his ass was out of the question, because "yeronner, he was criminally ignorant. also smug. and fat" is not a viable defense, even though it probably should be.
ANYWAY
Modern Hawaiian architecture is actually visually and structurally similar to traditional Hawaiian architecture. It is very uncommon, because ninety-nine percent of the people who would like to have their homes or places of work designed in such a manner can barely afford one of those six-room prefab aluminum box houses, let alone a home with custom architecture, but what little of it exists is pretty appealing.
There is, obviously, a hundred percent less thatched roofs and quite a bit more steel and glass and stone, but they are essentially modern re-imaginings of traditional Hawaiian hales. Though I'm not so religious anymore, the most impressive place I've seen is a Christian chapel. It's built on uneven ground that's been leveled to accommodate the building, but they built up a rock face around the slope up to the leveled ground in the same fashion as heiaus were designed in ancient Hawaii. The building itself is reminiscent of pre-contact palaces, but with a lot less lauhala paneling and lot more grand glass-and-koa-wood sides and imposing stone support pillars.
I suppose it's all possible now that we've got easy access to the materials. I tell you, if I had the money, I'd get a parcel of land out in bumfuck California where the land is as cheap as in Oklahoma and build a place with this modern Hawaiian architecture. It would blow peoples' minds.
NEXT TIME
Tying up some loose ends