Many fought for the mighty power. Some won and some failed.
Now... another legend in bravery is about to begin...
Let's play Final Fantasy Legend 2!
(Alternate Title: "Final Fantasy Legend 2: Dad Harder")
Final Fantasy Legend 2 is the Americanized version of the SaGa series: specifically, SaGa 2: Hihou Densetsu. Don't ask me what that subtitle means. I don't know and I don't care. Forged lovingly by SquareSoft in the deepest pits of Hell with shards of the damned, the sequel to Romancing SaGa/Final Fantasy Legend is not without its charms. You may even acclimate to them after the first world or two.
Never forget, though, that this is a SaGa game. It may seem as easy as swinging the sharp thingie at your opponent's face until he falls over, but there are a lot of variables that go into fights. The game will expect you to master them. The game will not give you the slightest help doing so. And by the time the mid-game bosses start showing up, hoo boy, you better have a firm grasp on things.
The world of FFL2 is—stop me if you've heard this one before—a multi-plane reality with a single vine-line tower connecting all of them. The worlds are not thematically consistent and, according to
Because it's fun, you goofball! Seriously, as much as I loved the original Final Fantasy Legend, it is a very flawed game that feels like it was produced in someone's basement as a homebrew. Levelling is uneven, there are huge dead spaces in every world, and the difficulty curve is ridiculously uneven, especially at end game.
However! Let it not be said Square doesn't learn from their mistakes. The sequel is tightly woven, well translated, and an overall superior experience than the original. And, happily, exactly none of the schizophrenic batshit insanity of character development has been lost. If anything, it's been ramped up a notch. You want a laser ninja? You got it. Martial artist with grenades? Go hog wild. Bigger monsters! Crazier weapons! Motherfucking robots! SaGa can lead to some magical moments if you know what you're doing. I guarantee you, I will type at least two sentences over the course of this LP that will generate and responses at the exact same time.
If that weren't enough, FFL2 is better simply because the goofy dialogue is intentional. FFL was a brooding, quasi-emo meditation on the nature of free will that was made utterly laughable by really awful localization. FFL2 is Romancing SaGa's dorky little brother who tells the corniest fucking jokes and is a thousand times more likeable for it.
Now we're getting into the meat of things. There have been some small but significant changes to the engine since Final Fantasy Legend. Those of you unfamiliar to SaGa shouldn't worry too much; we'll revisit the mechanics as we go along. The only thing you need to know beforehand is that weapons and spells can run out and you have to buy new ones to replenish them. Also, if you don't have at least one attack option available, your guy is reduced to sitting there like a brainless meatshield during combat.
Alright, let's get to it!
I presume you're one of these.
Humans are hardy and always a good front line choice. They will slowly gain stats as they fight, getting stronger, more agile, and more durable depending on the weapons they use and the strength of the competition. You can also accelerate the process by pumping them full of HgH. Seriously. 'Roids are a thing in SaGa, and they're a pretty big deal. You need dem stats, so buy dem stat potions.
In a neat twist, FFL2 eschews the typical RPG strength/agility divide between males and females. This time around, they start them with the exact same stats. Social progress!
If you post on Something Awful, you may be one of these.
Mutants are a bit like the FFL version of elves—less durable and predisposed to spellcasting. Their real advantage, however, lies in their ability to pick up random powers. These will show up and/or disappear after fights pretty much whenever they feel like it. There's nothing you can do to weight or influence them. Sorry! On the bright side, a roaming Cure ability is always nice, and there's always a chance you'll spike something ridiculous like Whirl or O-Damage.
Mutants also grow in stats over the course of the game. With a little coaxing, they can match or even surpass humans, making the difference in effectiveness more or less negligible. One disadvantage of mutant abilities, however, is that they take up slots in your active inventory. A fully powered mutant will use four slots, leaving you with four free slots and some dicey choices to make about armor and weapons. Consider yourself forewarned.
If you post on Reddit, you are probably one of these.
Monsters are a mixed bag in FFL2. They don't level up, and they can't equip items. Furthermore, they have a fixed set of abilities that don't change. (This is nice if you have a really good/useful layout, but it kind of sucks if the monster sucks.) So, how do they get better?
After some fights, you will be informed that the enemy dropped meat. Meat has no effect on other character types, but for monsters, it will (usually) transform them into a new monster. There's a whole paper-rock-scissors chart with different types and multiple tiers and it all just makes my head hurt thinking about it. In general, though, stronger enemies mean stronger meat means stronger monsters. It's also pretty hilarious when that rule breaks down, though perhaps not for the person playing the game.
Robots are both the weirdest and awesome-est of SaGa races. Firstly, Robots do not level up. Period. Their stats do not grow over time, they do not generate abilities, they cannot imbibe potions, they cannot eat meat. That's right, I used the word imbibe.
What they can do, however, is equip items—and that's where the fun starts. When a robot equips an item, its usages (if any) are immediately cut in half. After that, two things will happen:
- The robot's stats will increase by a pre-determined amount. This can be unpredictable but usually makes sense. For example, armor will give it HP and (derp) Defense, heavy swords will give it strength, equipping flames on the side will increase its agility, so on and so forth. But, the best part is...
- A weapon equipped on a robot becomes an ability and can be recharged by staying at an inn. If you get any high-powered weapon that has more than one use, give it to the robot. You will then never be without it.
Of course, unequipping the item will cut its usages in half once more, so don't do that. Also, equipping a single use item will remove it from your inventory entirely, so don't do that either. As long as neither of these apply, feel free to pimp out your robot as much as you want.
No spoilers: not equipment, not events, not wink-wink-nudge-nudge "oh man I can't wait for X" stuff. This rule isn't quite as crucial as it was for FFL, but it'll still spoil some nice surprises. Part of what makes FFL2 awesome is the "holy shit where did we end up this time?" factor, so don't ruin that!
Time for the good stuff! This is where you, the discriminating LP viewer, help build the party! Your choices will determine whether their ascent is a heartwarming tale of misfits coming together as a surrogate family or a nightmare of self-obsessed treasure hungry sociopaths. I'd put money on the latter, but I've been wrong before.
Here's what I need from you guys:
You can suggest as many characters as you want. I make no promises, though, and may take liberties with ideas. If all your suggestions suck, then I'll substitute my own. Lead character will be selected from the final candidates based entirely on my own capricious whims. Playthrough gimmicks will be accepted if I think they're doable and they'll make for good characterization.
(We're not doing an all-monster party. Ever. Don't even ask.)
One last thing, and it's my standard disclaimer: I am not a Final Fantasy Legend 2 expert, nor will I be grinding the game into oblivion to prove my LP street cred. I'm just a nerd with a screenshot tool and a love of near-ancient RPGs. I encourage discussions (of things we've already seen!) and will edit corrections into the LP as we go along. I'm not planning on engaging any exploits, though, other than to show they exist. This will be a clean run with some extra plot on top, so just kick back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Final party selected. Lots of appealing ideas, so I had to squish a bunch together to get them in. We'll be going with Roy (Chokes McGee, Alectai), Sara (Camel Pimp, Remliel), Zero (Snugglecakes), and Heather (Rabbi Raccoon).
Table of Contents
- Chapter 1: Beep Boop I am Your Protagonist
- Chapter 2: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Magi (Part 1)
- Chapter 2: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Magi (Part 2)
- Chapter 3: Ki and We
- Chapter 4: Saaaaaaaaaaaandstorm
- Chapter 5: (Re)Boot Camp
- Chapter 6: Little Big Men (Part 1)
- Chapter 6: Little Big Men (Part 2)
- Chapter 7: The Incredible Journey
- Chapter 8: Grecian BURNS
- Bonus Feature A1: Mr. S Explains It All—Combat and Stats
- Chapter 9: True Eye? More like True LIES
- Chapter 10: True Eye for the Metal Guy
- Chapter -1: Meanwhile...
- Chapter 11: Secret Agent Dad!
- Chapter 12: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Twice
- Chapter 13: Vanity, Thy Name is Asshole (Part 1)
- Chapter 13: Vanity, Thy Name is Asshole (Part 2)
- Chapter 14: Four Funerals and a Wedding (Part 1)
- Chapter 14: Four Funerals and a Wedding (Part 2)
- Chapter 15: Saddle Up
- Bonus Feature A2: Mr. S Explains It All—Whoops, We Broke Reality
- Chapter 16: Doumo Arigatou, Mr. Roy-Butt-O
- Chapter 17: ECHO SIERRA PAPA ECHO ROMEO
- Chapter 18: Law and Order: SBU
- Chapter 19: Have Fun Storming the Pagoda
- Chapter 20: Nasty Dungeons, Oh You Nasty Dungeons (Part 1)
- Chapter 20: Nasty Dungeons, Oh You Nasty Dungeons (Part 2)
- Chapter 21: Ragnarockin'
- Chapter 22: Return of ...
- Chapter 23: Everything Comes Together
- Chapter 24: Everything Falls Apart (Part 1)
- Chapter 24: Everything Falls Apart (Part 2)
- Chapter 25: Everything Comes to an End
- Chapter 26: After the Credits
If you see one saw this season, see MShadowy's saw.
SystemLogoff has height, width, depth, and a couple of other things!
Flash Fact: Bear Sleuth is made almost entirely of pudding.
Camel Pimp knows that red is the new black this season.
KataraniSword provides us with some concept art! I assume this is how Zero sees Sara and himself in his head.
US manual art. More reasonable to a degree, but still too old to be our guys. vv
Chokes McGee knows that it's all relative.
MShadowy's computer still runs Microsoft Bob and no one knows why
DjinnAndTonic rides the wind! And doesn't tip afterwards. (Jerk.)
Zore makes a brave attempt at modernization.
Meanwhile, in Bizzaro SaGa...
Aristide is all business. ALL SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Captain Bravo knows a thing or two about musa acuminata, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Antie Em! Antie Em! It's a SystemLogoff GIF!
Also available is the HD remix!
In the grim dark future, there is only Ciaphas. And ice cream. Mostly Ciaphas, though.
TurnipFritter drew this picture, because Roy's party is saving the world, because I played this game, because you read this LP. Nice work!
EAT, SLEEP, CAMEL PIMP, REPEAT
Kheldarn is your worst nightmare. Other than the waffles. You know which ones.
Camel Pimp is a heartwarming tale of three men just trying to make ends meet as professional breakdancers.
Chokes McGee knows how it all ends. IN FLAMES