Final Fantasy Legend II Part #26 - Have Fun Storming the Pagoda

Part 26: Have Fun Storming the Pagoda

...I mean, shopping? Coffee? That wasn't the time or place.

Look, we beat two different gods this way. It's a little late to change tactics.

Plus, you wouldn't believe the deals you can get when you have a teleporter.

How does she control that, anyway?

I basically have to take an entire bottle of antihistimines every night.

Wow, rough.

Alright. In the Guardians, I always considered myself an expert in infiltration. With any luck, we can get you inside, get to the Shogun, and get this over with before they realize they've been had.

What's the plan?

I'll use my reputation to claim I'm ronin. In order to get shogun to hire me, and to keep Hannah safe, I'm bringing you four to him as prisoners.

Suddenly not a fan of this.

No, it'll work. Shogun's twice as dumb as his men. Since you screwed up his plans, he'll want to execute you personally.

Won't they search us and take our weapons?

Ain't no thang. If this works, me and Sarah can zap the crap out of him before anyone knows what happened.

After that, I'll get you to your gear, and we get the hell out of there.

Alright, you've convinced me. Let's do this thing.

Good evening.

Stop right there!

Please tell His Magnificence, the Shogun of Little Edo, that I come bearing—

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL

Intruders! Intruders!

...

C'mon, you can't be that surprised.

*sighs*

Okay then. I guess we'll do it the other way.

Taro is amazing. Let's leave aside the fact he's an undercover samurai posing as a schoolteacher in Fake Japan who just happens to work with their sai-wielding head detective. (Saga y'all, etc.) His loadout is incredible.

The kimono armor has near non-existant defense but a high agility boost, and if it weren't for the fact that you do not take Dragon armor off in this game, ever, I'd give one to Sara. The rest speaks for itself. Muramase is a special katana that does extra damage against humanoids (i.e. knights, ninjas, etc), and the katana is just a low tier strength sword we saw all the way back on Giant World. Still, even simple weapons are far more terrifying in the hands of those with high stats.

Eesh. We're not even to the castle yet. This is gonna be a long trip, isn't it?

Dude, you still have tank treads.

That doesn't mean they don't get tired every now and then!

I don't like this. It's too quiet.

BLERGH

KILL SHINY METAL MAN

Roy! Take cover!

...do what now?

...

Oh yeah, we forgot to tell you. Roy's made out of solid adamantium or something.

Well. Well, we're still trapped in here.

No way. We're not trapped in here with them.

...no?

They're trapped in here with me

Has she always been like this?

As far as we know.

I didn't expect there to be this much paper.

It's a local thing. Try not to get distracted.

Homie, you might as well tell a hey this floor squeaks you guys check it out

*squeak squeak*

woooooow

Those are nightinggale floors. They put metal rims around the screws so no one can sneak up on the guards.

You know. Like those.

Whoops. Well, we can probably handle them—

FASTER PUSSYCAT KILL KILL

Like, how's that, Mr. Taro? Did I do it right~

I am legitimately terrified of you.

Line starts behind us!

And no cutting. We were here first.

At this point, Heather has nearly 700 HP and is shelling out 400-500 damage with an elemental sword that, quite frankly, is a tier or two back from where we should be. Our little Beverly Hills Barbarian has grown up so fast.

Since we've already seen it in action, let's talk about critical hits—or "mighty blows", as the game calls them. Similar to how a Mighty Bomb Jack is better than a regular Bomb Jack, mighty blows are far superior to regular blows. What is a bomb jack, anyway? Is it a spicier version of apple jacks? The world may never know.

The point is, mighty blows are old-school RPG critical hits. You get one, your target's dead. Period. No resistance checks, no defense applied, they just keel over. As your stats rise and your weapon loadouts get more diverse, you'll see mighty blows crop up with increasing frequency. Against random mooks, it's flashy but not necessarily helpful. If you can get a mighty blow on a boss, though—and it is possible—your whole day gets a little bit brighter.

Unfortunately, mighty blows usually require a weapon tuned to an enemy weakness. Here, you see Heather use a fire sword on a ghost, which did not end very well for him. Earlier, you saw Taro use a murasama on a ninja. Basically, if you bring a heavy hitter into the fight with an elemental advantage, there's a very high chance your opponent will drop dead after one hit. FFL2, of course, is well aware of this, and very few bosses have elemental weaknesses. If you want to see what what happens when they do, get to the end of the original Final Fantasy Legend, give everyone a Sun Sword, and then rampage up the outside of the tower like a pissed off Godzilla. Sure, it doesn't help us here, but there's still a certain level of satisfaction doing it.

----- Still me IRL
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Mosquitos are actually kind of bad through this section, as Drain punches through Roy's armor. It's not a huge deal, as Zero can just drop an ice spell on their head and move on, but Drain is still a mana-based attack and more dangerous because of it. Once again, it's okay to run if it takes too many resources and too much HP to get through. This is a long level filled with tough opponents, and you're going to need as much ammo as possible for what's coming.

Happily, the game's willing to help with that. For once.

(Barracks.)

Hellooooooooooo...

Holy guacamole

There's some high quality loot to be found from here on out. In case you didn't notice, the purchasable tiers of weapons ran dry a while ago, and we kinda busted Echigoya's smuggling ring before we could buy anything stupidly powerful. We can use Sara's Teleport ability to pick up lower tier swords if things go horribly wrong, but for big throwdowns, we need rare weapons.

Fortunately, the shogun's palace is chock full o' loot! The body potion bumps up HP, I believe the ninja gauntlets grant O-Weapon (!), and the missile... well... it's a missile. It's not rocket science. I mean, it is rocket science, but, uh... oh, never mind. The point is, missiles are one of the rare weapons that hit every monster you're facing. This is a pretty big deal. It won't help that much against bosses, but if we're up shit creek against mobs, Roy can nuke the crap out of all our opponents. You only get five uses per recharge, though, so make them count.

This is not to say that we’re invincible. Far from it.

I wanna know why you guys get all the good stuff! I want good stuff!

You got the ninja gauntlet, didn't you?

You didn’t see that.

I see what you did there.

No you didn't.

Speaking of which, time to bring the pain!

We weren’t speaking of that at all.

You say potato, I say asparagus.

Sara? This is the part where you make a deadpan joke about rocks.

...aaaaany time now...

Zero, I think she's got bigger problems.

He's right. Your friend has been petrified.

Oh no!

Not to worry. We can just use a Soft potion to bring her back.

...

Or an elixir.

...

We used up all the sunscreen a while ago.

...do I even want to know?

Probably not.

Dude, this is a pretty big problem. As much grief as we give her, Sara was a really good fighter and our only healer. That’s a lot of cure and stabby that we don’t have anymore.

Believe me, I’m aware.

Let’s just buy some Soft potion and come back. It’s not like we don’t know where they live!

We can’t leave now. The castle’s on full alert, and the shogun knows we’re coming for him. This is our one and only chance to catch him by surprise. If we leave now, we won’t get this opportunity again.

I'm not leaving Sara like this!

Nobody's saying we have to leave her behind. Let’s take care of the shogun, then we can go get a potion for Sara. She’ll be alright until then.

Yeah, but how are we going to get her there?

...ugh. Fine.

*yoink*

Let’s just get this over with.

I screwed up real bad here. I wasn’t expecting Boulders to have StonGas, let alone actually hit someone with it. We’re in a real tricky position. Our big cost mid-tier weapons are pretty chewed through right now, there's a lot of ground to cover to get back to the entrance, and we don’t want to waste our big guns on scrubs along the way. On the other hand, Sara has somehow become our #2 damage dealer behind Heather. (Roy and Zero are more for crowd control.) Still, we’ve got Taro, and we handed Venus’ ass to her without breaking a sweat. We can get away with putting Sara on the bench for this one, right?

...

Right?

This is totally bogus.

Aw, quit complaining. You were lifting the two of us over your head about a month ago.

That doesn’t mean I want to carry her! Do you know how hard it is to swing an axe while you're holding a statue? It’s hard. Like, really hard.

Probably not as hard as being turned into a stone statue.

When did you take their side?

Just keep it together a little longer, guys. We’re almost there.

What are you doing here?! Guards! Guards!

Shogun! You’ve been attempting to gather magi. I cannot allow that, even if it means taking...

Alright, you all know the drill by now. Heather, you start with—

*sheathes katana*

Or not.

The shogun’s such a laughable not-boss that I’m not even bothering with the fakeout gag. He has Riddle, which is a mass confusion against your party, and that’s all I know about because he was dead in two rounds.

Not pictured: The shogun gives up a measly 1GP after Taro murders the shit out of him.

P-please! Spare me! It wasn’t my idea, it was father’s!

…

Father's?

*rumble*

Gotta stop asking things like that, dooder.

You idiot! You had one task to do, and you couldn’t even get that right!

waaaaaaaaah

Come on now. Sure, he's a little soft-headed, but he's still your kid.

Ask me if I care.

Do you c—

What the hell! That was your son! Why did you kill him?!

Oh, I forgot. That’s a bit of a sore point for you, isn’t it?

Offspring are meant to surpass their parents. It’s the way of Nature. Shogun was a perversion of this. If it's for the good of everyone, why shouldn’t I kill him?

What is with you creeps and eugenics? It’s seriously gross.

Perhaps I can help you see...

I want to show you something.

Hold up!

...

Okay, we're good!

Beautiful, isn’t it? The mountains and fields spread out before us. The air is so much clearer up here. Look down at them... they're ants. An evolutionary dead end marching against the waves. I had preferred the humans to wipe themselves out with their petty bickering and politics, but, well, you saw how that turned out. I guess if you want something done right...

That’s horrible. You’re horrible.

Such a well-developed sense of empathy. Your father would be proud of you—if he were still living.

Don’t you talk about my dad.

I feel compelled to do so. If I send a man to kill your father, the least I can do is admit it.

What?!

It was you! Your goons ambushed our base, and Captain Butte didn’t even know about you! You nearly killed a town full of civilians in the process! Why?!

I wish I could say I was testing your forces, or that it was the Captain's time to be supplanted by his child... but the truth is, I just wanted the Guardians out of the picture. Magi are worth getting down in the mud for.

You’re a monster.

No. Nature is not cruel, because Nature does not act with intent. Now, come here, and prepare to be judged.

Hold up.

Oh, of all the... What is it this time? Why can’t you four just start a fight after a dramatic speech like a normal group of adventurers?

Sorry, had to put on my boss killin’ hat.

It was my dad’s, you see.

Here’s the real power behind the throne—a big-ass oni by the name of Magnate. However, like Venus before him, he’s a pushover. All you have to do is pfffft hahahahaha nope can’t do it this time either.

Enough of this. Die.

Yeah? Make us!

That was a really poor choice of words, Heather.

Totally my bad.

What just happened?

Oh, we’re dead!

...what?

Relax, this happens all the time.

...what?

Hey, can you heal Sara while we're here?

Sorry, it’s against regulations. The paperwork alone would be a nightmare.

Bummer.

Hmpf, such pathetic weaklings. With the Guardians out of the way, I’m now free to—

What up! We’re back!

Alright, this is too much. You don’t even have the professional courtesy to stay dead.

Between you and me, I don’t think “professional” enters into this.

Magnate is nasty. He’d be bad even with Sara at full strength, and now we’re fighting with one hand tied behind our back. If he casts Tornado, you’re pretty much dead. Full stop. It’s an area effect attack that hits everyone for about 500 and is by no means the worst hit we’re going to take in this game. Strap yourselves in, the bosses from here on out get ugly.

Fortunately, as long as he doesn’t cast tornado, he’s manageable. We have Heather and Taro to do the heavy lifting, and Roy can turtle behind his tank—with the added bonus of sometimes making Magnate waste an action. Turns out swinging a katana against an M1A2 isn't all that effective. There's still a surprise, though, as the heaviest hitter in our party this fight is...

Grrah! Such skill with a bow... I’m impressed.

I had a good teacher!

I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but Zero is consistently doing 350-400 against Magnate, which is a big deal. I suspect the Samurai bow is a unique weapon and just that good. Either way, it goes a long way towards making up for Sara’s absence. Magic sure as hell isn’t going to help us here, so it's better than Zero twittling his thumbs.

Which reminds me, there’s even more good news.

Crumble beneath the might of the heavens!

That... that usually works.

Proper grounding, yo. Gotta put that stuff into the earth’s crust.

Magnate’s other big attack is Thunder. If you remember, our party is thunderproof due to all that Dragon armor we bought. I cannot possibly stress this enough, but once you put on dragon armor, do not take it off. Ever. (Well, unless you’re replacing it with something else that has O-Damage, but other than that.) It is an incredibly good thing if your guys are invulnerable to damage spells. Sure, things like Tornado and Flare get through—but let’s be honest, nothing’s going to help with those. You need elemental defense. Supplement your defense scores with big-name helmets and gloves, but keep that dragon armor on.

With that being said: between Roy tanking katana hits and thunder being ineffective, Magnate is locked down.

Woah. Gnarly.

Well, mostly. Even still, Magnate can take a staggering amount of damage, but we all hit for around 300. Keep chipping away, and eventually...

You think you can stop all this? There are wheels in motion that even your precious Guardians don’t know about. The statue’s purpose. The face behind the armies. The shadowy figures that manipulate your fate—Project SPARTIN. You know nothing about what you're tampering with! Die!