Part 50: In Which Adventures are HadUpdate 50: In Which Adventures are Had
In This Update:
- We talk to an old man about old books.
- We meet the man who really puts the "meteor" in "meteorology"!
- Montblanc finds a wife!?
Hello and welcome back! Today we'll be breezing through some random quests that aren't really part of any quest lines. We have quite the backlog to get through!
It's been a while since we've seen Lezaford, isn't it? This is a good excuse to go see him.
: I've heard it might not even exist... that it might be a legend...
: Ah yes... the Gran Grimoire. Not many know of its existence, and few if any of those who do have actually set eyes upon it. I myself have never seen it -- and I have seen a great many things! Ha ha!
: I will prepare a paper describing what I know... which is not a great deal, I'm sorry to say!
As usual, Lezaford gives us a small lore entry to look at later.
: Feel free to share it with anyone at all. Only... oblige a shy old man and keep its author's identity a secret, there's a good lad!
Samuel holds the Grimoire of the Rift, capable of opening passages between planes. The Gran Grimoire is even more powerful, able to reshape the universe.
There's a fan theory that the Grimoire of the Rift is the Gran Grimoire, but surely Lezaford would have noticed that when he inspected the book after Illua tried to destroy it.
Rather, the Gran Grimoire was used by Mewt Randall to create the Ivalice of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. Which really doesn't settle the question of if the book actually exists! I like to think it wanders the universe, letting troubled youths drag their friends into escapism-enabling fantasy worlds.
One point in favor fan theory: how improbable is it for the Gran Grimoire and the Grimoire of the Rift to end up in the same town (albeit decades apart) without any kind of link between the two?
Well, that's enough lore speculation. Let's slip some performance-enhancing drugs to a moogle.
Now I'm wondering what Montblanc looks like after a couple Red Bulls.
Ugh, Knockback. Sure hope we don't get any random crits!
Imino and Frimelda are the only two characters left at level 46. Almost everyone else is at level 47!
: Well, let's go for the obvious ones and keep an eye on those monsters, kupo!
This is your typical "inspect the glowy spots" quest, except it's slightly easier because some of the spots are actually flowers.
Like this one, for example.
Which Zoe can reach on the first turn, because she can fly.
: So this is a kupoppy! I wonder how eating one of these is supposed to make you more refined?
I guess you're supposed to take this quest before you recruit any Gria.
Back at the pub, there's a letter from the requester waiting for us.
Sometimes, persistence isn't a virtue.
Thanks for the kupoppies the other day. I made the tincture and swallowed it down just before reaching Fluorgis, and lo and behold, I was talking just like her in moments.
It's still unclear to me precisely what quality of her speech is supposed by some to differentiate her as "special" and "grown-up," however... Evidently, the same can be said of her, as she severed all ties with me the moment I opened my mouth.
It's not your fault, really. The blame is mine for relying on such a crutch. I merely thought to relay to you the outcome of things with this letter, kupo.
Finally! The tincture's worn off! I'm back to normal... and maybe it's for the best.
Maybe she'll think so too! I'm off to try again! Wish me luck, kupo!
You know, we haven't seen the Zedlei Consortium in a while. You might not remember them -- they're a shady group of "farmers" who grow things like Malboros.
They're basically D-list villains in this game.
: That's it! That's the one! Here's your 50 gil, boy. Go and buy yourself a new toy! Heh heh.
Should be "fair share," shouldn't it.
Yeah, you do, particularly in spelling, grammar and fair business practices. Probably several lessons, actually.
An interesting law. Most jobs can equip an elemental weapon, if they don't have any elemental abilities to use. Except for Thieves, actually, who have neither.
This battlefield has a rather interesting setup. We're split into three groups, with each pair facing a pair of enemies. All of the Zedlei Consortium battles have weird deployments like this, which is pretty fun.
Imino and Lian are facing off against the Cream and the Berserker.
They have everything in hand, I think.
Over in the middle, a Ranger tries to attack Cid but gets punched in the face for his troubles, and Henri straight up deletes the Jelly. Gladiators have a few boring elemental weapon options, but their elemental abilities are more useful.
The Rangers like to spend their turns laying traps, which is annoying since we can't see them.
Cid is a Dragoon, so he has some elemental lances and, of course, the breath attacks.
Frimelda has been spending time as a White Mage (though I don't remember why) but here she's reaching back to her Paladin roots with Saint Cross.
And, of course, Hurdy and Imino have their Black Mage spells.
The jelly enemies love healing themselves while attacking you. I prefer it when things stay dead, honestly.
Also, don't stand on the tree stumps. There are traps there. Which is kind of funny, since the opening tableau looked like Clan Sawyer and the Zedlei Consortium were sitting down for a meal together.
Gladiator doesn't shine often for me, but he's doing well with it this battle.
A couple more traps are laid, we smack them a bit, and Hurdy finishes off the Cream. Thanks to Geomancy, he does a lot of extra damage. Creams are weak to Water, which can be annoyingly rare.
The three remaining seeq are all at critical HP now.
And they're quickly finished off.
: L-Look, I'll pay your reward myself!
OK, but we can still arrest them, right?
Our next quest takes us across the sea to Ordalia.
This time, no elemental damage is allowed. You would think this is a good time for that clan privilege that removes elements, but on the other hand, Bonus AP 3.
Given the number of meteors that we've thrown around, you would think someone would have noticed before now!
: There is no sage in all Jylland who can stand before my magickal might!
: So you're behind all these falling stars...
: What of it? I'll not have you interfering with my grand experiment? Ah, I've got it! I'll practice my newfound powers on you!
: Not the way I'd choose to pass the night. Well, if we take care of him, that should keep the sky from falling for a while longer.
Entz does in fact wield the Scorpion Tail, the mace that teaches Protometeor.
Sadly, he won't get a chance to use it.
Entz is accompanied by several Zombies and Shellings. We all move faster than the poor Alchemist, but the first few turns are spent closing the distance.
We even manage to take out one of the Shellings before the fight really gets going.
You may have noticed I don't have any way to banish undead. Frankly, I had forgotten I might need that, though it hardly seems necessary.
Still, this battle will serve as a mild lesson in why one should also be ready to banish undead.
Why do I still bother with these treasure chests?
Frimelda kills the second Shelling, leaving just two Zombies and Entz.
I figure it's time to move up and take the target head-on. In retaliation, he, well, he tries his best.
Note this didn't activate Frimelda's R-Ability, which is a shame. I do like free damage.
Remember that Zombie? It's already been three turns! They come back to life at full health, which is why I advocate for aggressive banishment. I didn't dillydally in this battle, the Zombie just had its turn immediately after Vaan killed it the first time.
Vaan... continues to be useful! Then again, Ninjas isn't exactly a hard job.
Sadly, the Zombies can't do much to stop us from attacking Entz.
And Entz soon finds his star has been snuffed.
Though seriously, we've summoned dozens of meteors, where's our bounty?
Let us turn our attention to softer, more romantic concerns.
Will Montblanc finally know marital bliss? He's certainly not getting an younger.
Wait, the quest was signed by "Cois." Where did Fras come from?
: I'm here, kupo!
Ah, an Archer. Not the choice I would have made, personally, but it takes all types in this funny little world, doesn't it.
: You are the moogle from Clan Centurio, are you not? The clan which won the clan tourney? You stole victory from us that day.
: All was in place for our victory... when your clan arrived unannounced and claimed the victor's mantle!
The rest of her team teleports in slowly, one-by-one.
: Even now, I shudder to think how you have shamed us! We will crush you and your clan, and only then will this weight be lifted from my heart!
: You try to cheat your way to victory, and when you fail, you blame your opponents, kupo?
: Silence! You know our secret. You cannot leave this place alive. Make ready for death...
: There's no talking sense with her, kupo.
Wait, we're protected by a judge. We really can't die.
They'll be something of a challenge! Only a few levels below us.
Well, they all get a free turn, which they spend advancing towards us and attack anyone in range.
But that puts them perfectly within our range, so I won't complain too much.
It's a bold move, let's see how it pays off for him.
Yeah, that wasn't the wisest of actions there.
Fras spends her turns trying to blind us, possibly due to some forced metaphor about her being blind to her own actions, or because love is blind, or something. I don't know, I'm not a poet.
Cid and Frimelda finish off the Blue Mage.
The Lanista apparently didn't notice the death of his teammate and decides to charge us too.
Montblanc and Hurdy team up on the enemies waiting up top.
And Tsing is going full Berserker on them, nearly taking out the White Mage.
The White Monk leaps down to stop Frimelda from killing the Lanista, but eats a blade to the face and goes down.
Shortly after that, Imino finishes off the White Mage.
Cid wasn't going to be able to kill the Lanista in one hit, so rather than lose his Unscarred buff, he fires of a Bangaa Cry from range.
The Lanista gives him a defense buff in thanks.
Up top, Hurdy takes down the Trickster will a well-placed Lightning. Fras is quite weak herself.
Imino teaches her exactly what we think of her plan.
That just leaves the poor confused Lanista.
Our last mission for this update: Save the Yellow Wings! They're the bandit group based out of Targ Woods, who we beat way back in the earliest updates of this LP.
This mission was unlocked right after Vaan and Penelo were accused of poisoning the Baron.
I'm honestly not sure if there's supposed to be a connection.
Anyway, our opponents today are House Bowen, our old on-again-off-again friends.
: Please, have mercy! We'll return all we've stolen! Please...?
: We've a job to do, which is to turn you in to our client.
Bowen is in full psychopath mode.
: Ah! You're our rescuers? Please say you're our rescuers! You know who they are? House Bowen!!!
: Asking for help won't change your fate. It will merely add to the list of casualties.
: House Bowen, hrmm? Too bad we also have a job to do. To the Yellow Wings' aid!
As is her wont, Veis spends her guaranteed free turn going invisible.
And then she jumps down and hits Lian with Slow. This is really frustrating -- as fast as he may be, Slow still cripples him and we have no way to remove it.
Except we get lucky.
Zoe gets a random Opportunity Command and is able to cast Haste on herself, Frimelda and Lian. Haste overrides Slow, curing Lian immediately.!
MVP right here!
The Yellow Wings really aren't slouches themselves.
Though, being NPCs, they're still really bad at strategizing.
I won't complain about their damage though. This somehow doesn't hit us, I think because we're several tiles below the attack.
Bowen diverts his attention to Zoe, basically guaranteeing the Yellow Wings will escape. Meanwhile, Frimelda gets some nice hits into Veis.
It's very important to shut down Tweigel. Since he has Blood Price, this just means hitting him a bunch so he doesn't have enough HP to cast.
He still finds a way to be annoying, but it's not nearly as disastrous as an Illusion would have been.
Veis pulls a neat trick to heal Bowen. Doubleshot does two hits, and Bowen absorbs Dark damage, giving him a nifty 122 HP back.
Zoe backs out and nails Loa and Veis with a Cyclone.
And Lian follows up with Water to take out Veis.
Frimelda immediately charges in and finishes off Loa. Half of House Bowen is gone in only three turns.
From there, momentum and numbers are on our side.
The White Monk finishes of Tweigel, proving that NPCs actually can be useful.
Bowen tries to attack the Thief, but, um, doesn't do a very good job.
Frimelda takes him down.
: Y-You just waltzed in there and drove them off! Amazing!
: Never mind that. You return what you stole, or House Bowen will be after you again.
: R-Right, of course! Wouldn't want anything like that again... T-Thanks for the help!
Thanks for reading! 50 updates in slightly more than a year, not bad at all.
Well! It is once more time for voting. We're ever so slowly approaching 300 quests, with only a handful of the longer quest lines left. So instead, let's knock out some smaller quests.
Everyone has two votes! You may have for one thing twice, or just pick two things!
1. We can lead a man to water, but can we teach him to fish?
2. A monster-hunting lady is looking for some help!
3. A spot as an airship apprentice has opened up -- dare we dare the high skies?
4. Finally, the Ecology 101 course is still waiting for us!