Part 35: Recommended: Tournaments

The nimrods can do their jobs.




The gossip corner is no longer interesting. That's while I'll never see them again.




Here's the new loot. How did I miss the Pearl Blade for so long...?




Official word from the secretarial desk of Queen Remedi:
"Bye!"


This is the next story mission. As soon as I accept it, Ramza reveals it to be a ploy to catch Doned. Doned hates it when Ramza collects minerals.


Oh fuck dammit, not this mission. I hate this mission.


Well, I guess I could do this one. The reward sucks but it's one of the three hundred missions.




So... What the fuck is a Helje Key? I want more Jagd!


Here's the first of those tourneys that rumor was talking about. You get a funny hat.


There's a lot of water and some guys.


The law forbids law cards. Ezel loses this round. Also, no Target-All means I have to kill these guys the hard way.


Luckily I have some floating shoes. Clan Shalo wears them but, as you know...

You can't steal shoes.


The jokers I have to fight don't wear shoes.


Lini and Seth do another Quicken chain to race across the water. Lini is the highest level member of Clan Beoulve because he targets the rest of the Clan with Smiles really often, while everyone else targets enemies. The level of my enemies can't quite keep up so everyone else gets reduced experience. Not Lini.


Kaboom!


These guys have fixed levels so the tourneys get easier as time goes on.


Finally, boosted AP gains!


The Acacia Hat is one of four items with an interesting gimmick. You can only ever have one of them, so any extras you obtain increase a stat of the item. For the Acacia Hat, it's resistance. It maxes at... 128, I think it is.


These four items also increase move and jump by one, which is why Carson has the hat on now. It looks like a moogle's head so Carson looks patently absurd.


Oh boy, this chain of deals. There are other missions that end up being chains of deals, sure, but this chain is notable because all the missions for it appear all at once.






A Stradivarius. An evil Stradivarius. A Stradivarius designed to be a cudgel.


Oh man, that shield? I'll have to send someone on that one.


Anyway, it's time to get that dumb professor. I'm dreading this.


At least I have some nice effects to bring.


This is about the only trio of laws that isn't a pain in the ass right now.


It's one of those "break the [object]!" missions.


Seth comes prepared with Phantasms and breaks them instantly.


The Professor is fine, at least.


It looked like it came from behind the other wall, Ramza.


Okay, gather my rewards...


Get a meaningless clan level...


Discard unneeded antilaws...


Wait, no one joined.

Dammit!


You see, there's a semi-unique character attached to this mission.


This guy has the standard 20% chance of appearing.


This mission cannot be repeated. This is my only chance at getting him.


Therefore, if I want a complete set of the guys, I have to reset every time the guy doesn't appear.


It takes about ten tries.




Quin sucks. He's a pure Sage so his speed is a comedy routine. I had level 3 recruits offer to join with higher speed scores than that. I fucking checked. He has only one more speed than Seth did when Seth joined, at level 3 mind you. He's still useful for dispatches, but holy shit don't try any battles with him.


I helped a housemaid have a singular wing so I got a demon wing. I think all the crystals being gone is starting to take its toll in reality. Wanting can only do so much.


See, this wino wants me to help with janitor duty.


How else would you explain how damned loaded he is besides "the universe is fucked"?




Final, this stupid story I've been needing for ages. The two copies finally show up.


One requires this item that I've had for so long that I can't even remember where I got it.




It's a long chain of deals with that medal.




I, of course, come out on top due to the huge sums of cash involved.


How would throwing in a new Stradivarius affect the auction prices? How would throwing in an evil Stradivarius affect evil auction prices? Is there a Dark Count Stradivari somewhere?


Welp, this game's done. I've got a chick with nearly 200 speed, Concentrate, and Ultima in a class that has Greatbows.


I honestly do not see anything standing in my way.


This is the step after the Goldcap in that chain.


The Battle Tourney is straightforward, unlike the Swimming Meet.


You just can't fuck with the laws.


This guy has a Mistle Robe which interrupts Eldena doublecasting Madeen. (who, upon further investigation, keeps the bad translation with FFIX for now)


It does quite a bit of work for me. The rest of the battle goes really quickly.


The game has completely forgotten the bounty on Ramza's head, if you care. It will never be brought up again.


Hoo boy, every 13-year-old kid's pipe dream...


Why do the mission that require this show up so much sooner than the actual sources?


I hire this chick to do stuff.


The Sequence is another one of those four growing items. This time, WAtk goes up with each new specimen. It sucks now, but it can hit 128 attack, far more than any other weapon. That requires doing Battle Tourney 96 times. It also has one extra move and jump.


This mission has been around for ages. It's been sitting there, offering me the missing part of the Nagarok, and I couldn't do it without some tale.


I hope Quin makes it there in time. He's really slow, you know.


Time for "Ramza is an unambiguously bad person" theatre!


It involves beating this guy up, despite having helped him escape death twice.


Auggie has some pretty cool stuff to steal now that we're bitter enemies. If you're missing any of this or want an extra Mirage Vest or something.


"Ramza! Why are you taking my mythril?!"


"I've got to! I have no choice!"

Ramza wears the mantle of Superdickery well.


This is why Norma is scary now. That poor Illusionist will be a fucking stain when she's done.


"Instead of buying my mythril, Ramza's killing me!"


What's this? Is Ramza regretting stealing?


...Wait, wait no, he's not.


Funfact: I already have several Sivril.




It's totally okay to help a criminal if he's doing it for his family. And offering an item I want.


"I helped a comfort a guy and he gave me a few swords." Is that the story I'm seeing here?


Cheney stole snacks from the party. He's the lowest form of scum.


However, Magic hits 50 so I get this. Geomancy reduces the enemy's elemental resistance by one level, so Seth's phantasms are even more dangerous.




We're assisting a prison break, and Cid is still Ramza's friend. Ramza still believes he's doing the right thing.


I wish I could break Lini out of jail like this. It would certainly be more exciting than normal.


spoiler: Ramza gets away with this


You're really dumb, you know that?


Where did Julian get that bow? Oh well, that's the key I need to find a new jagd.


This requires my Thunderstone and Stormstone. Link's become lazy and he really shouldn't trade his sword like that.


Finally, I have the stuff for the Nagarok!


Also I should really get some of this so I can finally do missions requiring Crustite Alloy.


Fuck the combat guild! Aren't all antilaws combat cards? Who are they to drive up card prices!


Sweeeeeet.


Look at that! It's 27 power above the Excalibur and it gives a whole point of move!


He is the speediest Paladin.


Anyway, I'll guess I'll get around to getting that last Jagd.


If you've had bad luck with Black Robes, here's one.


Here's a fucking Snake Staff finally Eldena can fucking get fucking Shiva.


The Flame Staff teaches only Firaga, a far-cry from FFTA2 where it teaches the infinitely powerful Hastega.


A key from a prisoner?


I have to say, this cave looks pretty cool.


This will bite me in the ass briefly.


I have no idea why the Snake Staff is such an arrogant stick. Shiva is unbuyable for some reason and it infuriates me.


I'm being bitten in the ass.


So I'll bite them in their asses!


How do you motherfuckers like it, huh? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BITE A STRANGER IN THE ASS!




I imagine that Ramza's all sweaty and drooling in anticipation.


It's not that special.


The Mage Tourney is stupid. The gimmick law is Forbidden:NoClrMgc, meaning you can only use color magic. Prayer, Sagacity Skill, Phantasm Skill, Spirit Magic, all out.


I can only use three characters because of this.


Luckily for me Eldena is so amazingly powerful that she can carry the match by herself.


You just used Dragon Force on Eldena, quit acting like that mattered.


The White Hat is objectively worse than the Black Hats I have sitting around, never mind the Acacia Hat.


What kind of cha-


...Really? That's this week's good luck charm? Last time it was a dead dog's grave, now this?


The Magic Robe gives 6 MPow, the most of any robe, but the lack of good defense combined with no elemental bonuses kicks it down a few notches.


I wonder why the missions needing this consume it. Does the guy just get so into the book that he eats it?


Is this the last Wanted! mission? I think it is.


The reward reflects that pretty well.


Pallanza is a lord of stirring now. No Bangaa can compete with his spoon-rotating skills.


I also get a Ribbon for Norma, so now she's even harder to stop.


This is Rayne's gimmick. She already knows Ultima Masher.


In case you don't check enemy skills, she announces this.


But then...


It turns out...


I'm a huge fan of irony.


I hope you weren't expecting boss fights to be long exciting affairs. From here on, I try to shove as much Ultima in the enemy's face as possible.

NEXT TIME:

There's a lot of plot but this is just hilarious. How do you fail at relaxing?

MECHANICS CHAT Vol 8. Mission items

At this point it should be obvious what mission items are mainly for but they have a lot of assorted effects on combat and after-battle rewards. I'll go over all of them. Also, this will be a bit of a spoiler of mission items I'll be getting, but nothing too major.

Stat boosts:

A triangle means either a 3% or 6% bonus in that stat. The Crystal gives 3% bonuses to physical damage given and magical damage received.


Circles mean 9% or 12% bonuses. The Spiritstone, my bested bud, gives 12% to every stat.


A circle within a circle means a whopping 15% bonus. Double Circles are only in the Power and Magic fruits, the two ceffyls, and two very powerful post-game mission items.


Elemental boosts give your clan enhancement, like the Black Robe or Chill Rod's, in that element. Some items, like the Sprinkler, have two element boosts.


The Feather Badge and Insignia increase AP rewards by 50% and 100%, respectively. They don't stack with each other.


Some items increase the chance of recruits showing up. The AllyFinder2 here increase it by twenty, while the Topaz Armband from above increases it by 5. The AllyFinder2 also adjusts the possible jobs a recruit can have. In this case, it's towards "expert" jobs, ones that need to be unlocked first.


Finally, four items replace the normal recruits entirely with the semi-unique characters. These four are The Hero Gaol, Elda's Cup, Wyrmstone, and Snake Shield. The Hero Gaol also increases the recruitment rate by 10, so Lini shows up more frequently than the others.