Part 116: Let's Play Akumajō Dracula X: Gekka no Yasōkyoku (April Fools '11)

Let's Play Akumajō Dracula X: Gekka no Yasōkyoku
That's Castlevania: Nocturne in The Moonlight for you uncultured heathens, butcheredtranslated as Symphony of The Night.


Even if I am playing the translated version, I will try to keep the experience as authentic to Igarashi-san's vision as possble.


I mean look at this nonsense! Transylvania is part of Romania, but this makes it sound like Romania is the backwoods part of Transylvania. I'm beginning to think the translator knew neither English nor Japanese!


And this, this! My god, was he asleep at the wheel? This isn't Banpaia Kirā (Castlevania: Bloodlines for the uncultured) but Akumajō Dorakyura X: Chi no Rondo (Castlevania: Rondo of Blood for the ignorant) and if that wasn't bad enough, Banpaia Kirā takes place after Akumajō Dracula X: Gekka no Yasōkyoku!


I'm going to give myself an aneurysm if I think too hard about how bad this job is, so let's go on. This is our hero, Rihitā Berumondo (Richter Belmondo (I refuse to use the inane Belmont (I mean there isn't even a T in their name (I mean they had it closer to start why did they change it (It's lke they don't even care about accuracy (but the sheeple keep eating this garbled nonsense up (I really should quit now (Oh god my arm won't stop twitching)))))))).


Rihitā doesn't need no damn cross. Its Item Crush is nowhere near what we need to defeat Dorakyura.


Also, I need 32 hearts in order to have 0 upon Dorakyura's defeat


I'm not going to bother with this conversation. It's such a meme because of how laughable the weak localization is, not to mention the voices!


The Holy Water's Item Crush is Hydro Storm, and it alone can defeat Dorakyura's first form.


But, as is a Akumajō Dracula X tradition, Dorakyura is never dead after his first form!


I swear the American version runs wrong I can totally beat him without damage in Gekka no Yasōkyoku.


And it loaded in like 3 seconds flat. Great scheme to lengthen gameplay, Konami of America (also known as Human Scum).


Anyway, the Chi no Rondo section was just background. The bulk of this game takes place 5 years later, after Rihitā goes missing and Dorakyura's castle returns mysteriously. This is Arukādo, awakened from his sleep after Akumajo Densetsu. He's going to investigate.


By running out of hearts in the prologue Arukādo starts with this item, which restores more hearts then you should rightly have. If Rihitā runs out of HP, aria Rāneddo saves him and you start with a High Potion. Collect over 45 hearts and you get a Nuclear Bomb of all things! If it weren't for the bugginess of the American version Arukādo would start with higher stats if the prologue is completed without damage.


Fuck you, Warg.


Arukādo has magic powers! Here he is casting Summon Spirit to take out some zombies.


Unlike in older Akumajō Dracula games, Arukādo can gain levels and increase his power!


And he keeps food in his inventory for when he really needs it rather than eating it right there. Hey, who knows how long it's been in that wall, how will 30 minutes make that big of a difference.


Hellfire copies Dorakyura's classic attacks. Don't hold any buttons for the 3 fireballs, and hold Up to fling the giant fireballs.


Oh, what's this?!


It's Dorakyura's loyal servant, Shinigami!


He's all "cut it out" and Arukādo is all "fuck you" and Shinigami is all "well fuck you too buddy" and he steals Arukādo's equipment!


With only restoratives, can he triumph?!

_{I have the worst April Fool's ideas}