Part 1: Meteorites fuck up everything

Chapter 1: Meteorites fuck up everything


After starting a new game, you get treated to this very blue screen. After 20 agonizing seconds...


The castle isn't quite so blue.


The man of as regal bearing as the tiny sprites allow wakes his dragon. The dragon's cry is the single most overused effect in the whole game.


His daughter, princess Lenna of Tycoon, emerges.

Do you really have to go?
You know I do, dear. I need you to protect this castle. Under no circumstances are you to follow me. Understand?
But, father...
Something is wrong with the wind... I must go to the Wind Shrine and make certain nothing's happened to the crystal.
Yes... I've noticed it as well. But, to go alone is-
Lenna. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Have faith.


He then flies off on his dragon.





...Oh shit.


Sure Mr. Old man in a shaking red cave.




I don't know, the crystal seems perfectly fi





Elsewhere, a man in annoyingly lime green shoes and his chocobo are disturbed by something...


A fucking meteorite hitting the planet only a few miles away.


The man hops on his chocobo (read: does a jumping animation and vanishes into the bird) and rides to see what the hell just happened.


Armed with an ungainly large sword, he's ready to fight.


What a mild impact. I expected a crater and the sun being blocked out by dust.


Bartz walks closer to the meteorite. The Anthologies remake added a run button, which is quite handy for all the poking around towns you'll do. For now, all it means is that one will bump around all the walls in this forest path.


Huh? What's that?


Goblins kidnapping a girl for... something Goblinesque, I'd imagine.


Okay you motherfuckers, now that we're more detailed and a thick grass has somehow grown, I'm gonna kick your asses!


The man swings his sword quite fast, so getting a screenshot is hard.


The goblin hits for damage so pitiful that I can only weep for him. The man only has one defense even!


That little bar next to the man's HP display (currently 32) is the ATB bar. Basically, when it's full, he can do something. In this case, carving a goblin open.





Y-Yes... I believe so...
I give you my thanks. My name is Lenna. And you are...?
Me?


While this may be a proper Romanization of his name, it simply won't do. The default is Bartz, but you can call him whatever. Nothing obscene or outright retarded, though. Don't make me hate giving this chance to you.

NEXT TIME:
More party members! Pirates!