Part 9: Phat Lootz

Chapter 8: Phat Lootz


While Hiyru can't fly over mountains, he can fly over meteorites.


Having just vanished from the castle shortly before a meteor fell, Lenna caused a little panic at Tycoon. A panic somewhere along the lines of "OH GOD THE ENTIRE MONARCHY IS DEAD!!"


To see that she's consorting with idiots, pirates, and geriatrics must also be shocking.


I honestly have no idea what smily to use for the chancellor but there's this one I've always wanted to use so

No need to fret about that now. But please, you must return to the palace! Our guard has been severely weakened by monster raids, but there is no way we can recover without our princess!
I'm sorry... I cannot stay.
Princess, you have a responsibility to this kingdom!
Yes... but more importantly, I have a responsibility to the world. Right now, we are all in danger.
What's more... Father is alive, and I-
...I understand. Princess Lenna, we will protect the kingdom, I swear it!
And I swear to return, and bring Father back. Until that time, please hold things together here.
For now, will you at least stay the night?
Certainly.

Free rest in a JRPG. You know what that means!


Someone will not be able to sleep.


So Lenna wonders out to the balcony, only to find Faris...

Faris?
Hm? Ah, Lenna. It's late... you should be in bed.
So should you...Sister.
...!!!



Wh-what are you going on about? Me, your... That's daft!
But...
Besides, a buccaneer like me, really a prince-er, princess? 'tis a bit much, that!
But...your pendant...

The next day, Burtz decides to loot the castle.


Hi-Potions, Ethers, Elixers- Tycoon is full of high-power restoratives in random pots.



Sarisa?
Princess Lenna's older sister. Sarisa was sailing with her father when a storm hit, and she was lost at sea.


What a bore. I bet he has tons more free mythril goodies in there.


Oh, gee. I wonder what we do here.


He hands us a Healing Staff. It gives +1 magic and restores the HP of whoever is cudgeled by it.


Also, the chests contain more weapons none of the current 6 classes can use. The Asura has 42 power- almost twice the Long Sword.


Whatever, I'm not coming back unless plot demands it.


South of Cerwin/Kerwin/Kurwin/Car Window/Whatever it's romanized as today are the town and castle of Walse.


Besides public circle-jerking to the king, there's the weapon and armor stores. The Armor store sells Iron armor, already obsoleting our Bronze stuff after 1 dungeon. The Weapon store sells axes, which, once again, none of the classes can use.


The magic store sells Time magic, which none of the classes can use, and the spells to will chocobos, piranhas, and wood sprites into existence. Once again, no class we have can use them.


Does that include stealing his maidens' kisses?


Hi! I'm going to rob this place blind!


What, did you work in Walse your entire life and only recently hear that? Maybe it has something to do with all the water and the castle's white stone.


It's not like we'll ever see anything like that, right?


I wonder why the basement looks so much different than


...Is that a?


...How bad could it be...?


OH GOD! I'M UP A CREEK! I'M UP A CREEK!


Jackanapes evades all physical attacks, and any magic attacks are met with Moon Flute, which berserks your entire party so all that they do is attack. Running is all you can do.

A side note: Moon Flute is Blue Magic. There are easier enemies to fetch it from later.


Luckily, Thieves are good at running, and !Flee makes them VERY good at running. Walse's basement has some nice treasures. The other two urns hold a total 2000 gil.


Hot damn, I love these mantles.


An extra point to speed and magic along with 1/3 physical evasion? A wonderful cape...


But at what cost?

NEXT TIME: Plot again! Towers! More jobs capable of using these items and magic we've found?!

BONUS:

NAME: Jackanapes
LEVEL: 20 EXP: 0
HP: 666 GIL: 1
MP: 5000 SPEED: 35
ATTACK: 50 MAGIC POWER: 50
ATT. MULT: 10 MAGIC MULT: 7
EVADE%: 50 MAGIC EVADE%: 50
DEFENSE: 50 MAGIC DEFENSE: 50
ELEMENTAL IMMUNITY: None
STATUS IMMUNITY: Dead, Stone, Toad, Mini, Float, Poison, Zombie, Darkness,
Old, Sleep, Paralyze, Charm, Berserk, Silence, Image(2), Image(1), Stop
ELEMENTAL ABSORB: Water, Wind, Earth, Holy, Poison, Lightning, Ice, Fire
CAN'T EVADE: None
ELEMENTAL WEAKNESS: Water, Wind, Earth, Holy, Poison, Lightning, Ice, Fire
CREATURE TYPE: Heavy
IMMUNITY: None
INITIAL STATUS: None
SPECIALTY: Critical
SPECIALTY EFFECT: None
SPELLS: Moon Flute
CONTROL: Fight, Circle
BLUE MAGIC: Moon Flute
CATCH: Condemn
DROP (ALWAYS): Nothing STEAL (COMMON): Iron Draft
DROP (RARE): Phoenix Down STEAL (RARE): Elixir
AI SCRIPT:
{Fight,Fight,Specialty}
React:HP Damage{
Moon Flute
}

Eek, these things are blobs of horrifying immunities and resistances. 50 defense ensures that what little that does hit it hits for naught, while he's immune to every goddamn status in the game and absorbs all 8 elements.

I'll come back to killing this bastard later.