Part 61: Backtracking central

Chapter 56: Backtracking central


Press this switch in the magic glowy trench, now that it works.




Yeah whatever. Someone should put the lid on their evil or it spills everywhere and the dog tries to eat it and


A save point! Despite how fucking massive this whole area is, there are only two save points. I'm surprised you even get the second one.


I supposed "Sealed Temple" might be the overarching name for the whole dungeon, but each section has it's own name. It isn't as unified as the Lunar Ruins.


I guess I got told.


I can think of only one time you'd ever open this door from this side, and this isn't that time.


So, it's off to this door!


I assure that Square-Enix spent no money a new tileset for any area of this dungeon. Hell, we only get one new enemy graphic.


Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!


Burtz gets dumped next to a chest full of Dark Matter in Titan's Grotto.


About half of the enemies are rejects from the Rift. Iron Giants give 10,000 EXP each and look absolutely hardcore, but they can only use physicals.

I totally had a shot of killing one in the castle of the Rift by I lost it somewhere.


Our first piece of new equipment! The Vishnu Vest is an awesome thing. It halves Fire, Ice, and Lightning damage and it's pretty decent armor besides. Krile goes up a tier of vests.


Our first new enemy! Dinozombies have physicals that can hit for over 2,000 but they usually spend their turns using Bone Toss which can't kill a character.


Another one! Behemoths are huge assholes who counter any attack by attacking twice and cast Meteor upon dying. They're technically open to Zantetsuken but at level 77 with 70% magic evade Odin's like "fuck that" and tosses his spear instead.

Yeah, FF5 originally only had King Behemoths. They had to add the subjects in later.


Ow, asshole!


Have fun in an urn, dicksmacker!



June 24th.

The Bal Succession War took a sudden turn when Krile Baldesion, the late king's granddaughter and the legitimate heir, suddenly returned to Bal with a Behemoth on a leash. The nobles, scared that they would be fed to the Behemoth as punishment, quietly surrendered and begged for forgiveness. However, trade dropped sharply as no one wanted to go anywhere near Bal for fear of a giant beast calling space rocks on their caravans.


Every mysterious NPC in this dungeon has this sprite. It has the side effect of making them all creepy kids.


Here, in the Heart of Ronka, this kid is telling us about his Supersoft(tm) but since nothing we've seen is that stoned we can't get any from him.


Some more warping!


The stairs up lead to the Sealed Temple's dungeon. It's where that door to the left leads too. Our destination is deeper in the River of Souls.


An evolution of Squirrel! Soul Eaters use Incisor with little provocation, but they don't hit very hard compared to the other new random encounters. An easy blob of EXP.

Oh, I forgot to mention, these new enemies, besides the Behemoth, give huge EXP rewards. Soul Eaters give 10,000 while the Dinozombies above give 30,000. The only enemies that gave anywhere close before this dungeon were Magic Pots and Iron Giants, both of which were always alone and only gave 10,000.


This is one hell of a weird river if it flows exactly above itself.


The first boss of the Sealed Temple is... a Gil Turtle, just like the ones brutalized waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when.


!Rapidfire with two Ragnaroks and a Blizzaga spellblade.


I suppose on some fundamental level this turtle is different because it drops this. the Grand Helm is bland and featureless and sees exactly no action.


This dungeon often flings two equal-looking paths. One leads to treasure while the other leads to more dungeon. Guess which leads to which, and what the treasure actually is!  Right has the loot, but it's only a boring old Cottage. 


Every monster of any report pops up in some corner of this dungeon.

Except King Behemoths but fuck them.


They made a machine that makes puppies out of orphans' tears. The puppies are promptly kicked by a second machine.


I've ran away at least 300 times!

...Maybe that's not what I should brag about.


Normally, I'd have to backtrack all the way to Titan's Grotto to catch one. Catching the Behemoth is one of the things I remembered about this place, so I did it in advance. Catching the Behemoth is probably slang for sex.




Dialogue like this probably reinforces that notion.


Door's open now.


Vilia has no attack animation. It's weird. Also, she's not a new enemy at all which means I have no fucking clue where else she appears. Probably in some forsaken corner of the ocean.



Anyway, running back to the entrance of the Temple...


He's locked in there. Bugger.


Well, let's get this show on the road!


Hey, some chests! None of them have it though.


An Assassin! He's easy enough to assassinate before he can try anything.


Mini Satanas are stupid bastards who try to have a reflect gimmick but they don't always cast Reflect. They're worth 12,000 EXP so they're weak, stupid bastards.





HAHAHAHA FINALLY!


With these knives, Krile is officially out-damaging Burtz with a regular !Rapidfire. As she can pour out this much damage as a Mime, I can delve into all sorts of wacky tricks with her 3rd ability slot. The Gladius, by itself, is a Holy knife which helps with all the assorted zombies in this place.


It's back to the Supersoft (tm) kid.


In real life, if you softened, say, Michelangelo's David, you wouldn't have a guy with big hands asking where his clothes went, you'd have a puddle and the entire art community trying to kill you.


But since this is fantasyland, softened statues always come to life.


So, we have 5 minutes to scale Death Mountain and deliver the Big Goron his eyedrops or something.


I get there in 37 seconds.


Of course, it's an actual monster wanting us actually dead.

BOSS FIGHT: GRAND AEVIS, DARK ELEMENTAL x2


Grand Aevis is a grand asshole. He casts Zombie Powder, Zombie Breath, Evil Eye, and Blaster while his Dark Elemental hoes cast really strong Aerogas, so you have to watch out for all three statuses that can cause Game Overs. Furthermore, the only pieces of equipment with Wind resistances can only be obtained after this. It's three guys pelting you with instant death and unresisted magic.


He's also unreasonably fast. Hastega is practically required for the bosses here. Grand Aevis has 88 speed and it only goes up.


Burtz has !Jump instead of !Rapidfire because Grandy here revives his hoes whenever he's alone, so killing both of them is a bit of a waste. Wounding the elementals isn't a bad idea, though, because they both can cast White Wind and have 5,500 HP each.


Situation: under control. It took about 4 Curagas and a couple of White Winds, but I'm pretty firmly winning now.


Everyone has Angel Rings for this reason. Zombie is worse than Petrify or KO because 1)The zombie attacks allies and Burtz could reasonably KO everyone and 2) While Arise revives a KO'd ally with max HP, Holy Water or the Holy Water mix doesn't give that ally near that much HP.


I forgot that I was buffing up Burtz with Dragon Powers so he goes out and kills the other Dark Elemental, so I have to kill this one again. After a Holy from Faris weakens it, 1,000 Needles is the only spell I trust enough to make it totally dead. These Dark Elementals have 0% magic evade but when other enemies in here have 100% I don't like taking risks.


the Grand Aevis is an Aevis and not a Dragon, but the Dragon Lances hit it really hard anyway.


Once Grandy runs out of his 42,000 HP, the Dark Elementals cast Self Destruct. This guy only has about 150 HP left, but I kill him anyway.


For killing the Grand Aevis, you get the gayest bow in the world. I swear there's carvings of two guys making out at an Elton John concert and everything.


The path to the rest of the Temple is clear, but before that...


Time to smoke some.

NEXT TIME:

This shit is just getting inane.