Part 3: Dodgeserker
Part 2 - DodgeserkerI have nothing else to spend money on besides Potions, so I spend all my money on Potions.
The enemies here are too easy to kill. Zerky! needs challenge.
Challenge that comes from enemies who won't attack him because they're scared of penises.
As you may guess, this is a nice place to grind if you're inclined.
I end up hitting level 7 after two or three battles here on average. I say on average because the boss fight here is a pain for solo runs.
code:
Karlabos (Heavy)
HP: 650
Weak to Bolt.
Vulnerable to Stop, Slow.
AI Script:
{Fight,Specialty,Specialty}
{Fight,Tailscrew,Specialty}
{Fight,Tailscrew,Specialty}
Feeler is its special attack, and it's a regular attack that inflicts paralysis. This is bad because it means less attacks for Zerky! to execute, especially since his speed is already poor.
Finally, Tail Screw reduces Zerky! to single-digit HP, which means the next attack will kill him. Best you can hope for in this situation is to block an attack with a shield and repeated Tail Screws, but more likely you'll die.
At L7, this is Zerky!'s damage output. He needs 7-8 attacks to kill Karlabos. This isn't going to cut it.
There's a lot of luck involved in pretty much any solo run, though at least other jobs can heal. Zerky! doesn't have that luxury because he's dumb.
For the first several bosses, I decided on a strategy of "Try twice without passives, then go with passives." After two failures, I try out Artful Dodger.
Artful Dodger is the final Thief ability, and what it does is simple: It gives the user the agility of a Thief, which is tied for highest in the game. This is really nice for Zerky!, who has the lowest agility in the game (probably, too lazy to check).
Of course, the ATB is buggy and biased against Berserkers, so it still takes them a long time to actually execute their first attack.
Which kinda sucks when they can get paralyzed before that first attack. Artful Dodger isn't really useful because other abilities will contribute more damage than the couple extra turns Artful Dodger gives, especially since fights as a Berserker are pretty much always a burst rush, trying to kill the opponents before they kill you. You'd think more speed would help, but a Berserker's damage output is kind of crap due to being stuck with either weakish daggers or inaccurate and random axes.
Of course, the Chicken Knife would be a very big exception to this, especially since it's the one knife that actually factors agility for damage. But we'll get to that.
I try Barehanded, and really I probably should've just stuck to it since it's two attacks and thus makes the battle last half as long. This is a critical hit, by the way.
What ends up happening though is I swap between Artful Dodger and Shirahadori. The latter is from the Samurai class, and basically gives the user a straight 1/4 chance of dodging physical attacks on top of their usual evade. Useful for attacks like Feeler, though it's still useless against Tail Screw.
That said, it doesn't dodge as often as I'd like (which would be 100% of course). And Zerky!'s damage still sucks.
So I decide to level to 8. At level 8, Zerky! gets a damage boost due to the damage formula I'm sure half the thread's readers already have memorized if not tattooed on their arms.
This takes Zerky! to requiring only five hits to down Karlabos. Much more manageable.
But still definitely not easy.
Finally, some more attempts later, I finally down Karlabos. I get lucky as hell and dodge/block all Feelers and luck into him not Tail Screwing once. I really should have used Barehanded instead but I won so I don't care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRG92ec4TQs
FINAL LEVEL: 8
DEATHS: 16
For reference, Sulla beat him at L11.
The enemies here will wear you down, but luckily won't kill you unless you get really unlucky. You still have to heal between every encounter.
Also, there's no save point until the next cutscene so I'm scared shitless that I'll have to repeat Karlabos again if I make a wrong move. Fortunately I don't die.
PIRATE'S A GIRL
Everyone jokes about letting the map follow you but then you realize you'll be using a sub and you're screwed if you don't have the map.
Just wandering around here gets me to L12. Time for the next boss!
code:
Siren (Human, Heavy)
HP: 900
MP: 200
Vulnerable to Death, Stone, Poison, Blind, Old, Paralyze, Confuse, Berserk, Stop, Slow.
AI Script:
{Mute,Slow,Haste}
{Cure,Ice,Scan}
{Armor,Sleep,Bolt}
No Interrupt{
Display Text: Changes to an Undead!
Unhide Monster: Siren (2nd form)
}
I forgot to move up to the front row, so my damage is pathetic.
For the first fight, she goes for Silence/Blizzard/Sleep.
code:
Siren (Undead, Heavy)
HP: 900
Weak to Fire. Absorbs Poison.
Vulnerable to Death, Stone, Blind, Slow.
AI Script:
{Fight,Specialty,Fight}
{Fight,Specialty,Fight}
{Fight,Specialty,Specialty}
Unhide Monster: Siren (1st form)
If this was the front row, this would hurt. At least it wakes up Zerky!.
All she does in this form is use physical attacks, though her special attack inflicts poison. Mainly an annoyance, but you don't want more damage adding up on you.
This is the last boss where I do the "two tries without abilities" thing. Might as well use what I've got.
Before that, here's the damage output from the front row. At least it puts a dent in undead Siren!
You know, before she grinds me into paste.
So, Barehanded? Yeah, quite an improvement. This is regular damage, not a critical.
I luck into a rather easy rotation of attacks, and then kill her with some nice damage before her undead form can even act.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhTxMc-6LG0
FINAL LEVEL: 12
DEATHS: 2
Next town has bronze gear to make Zerky! live longer. Zerky! can use the Ice Rod with Equip Rods, but he's too dumb to break it.
Imagine this for every random battle in North Mountain.
I decide more damage would be useful against Forza, who only does physicals. Right now I'm trying to try different things and experiment to see what all works well.
GO ACTION PIRATE
code:
Magissa (Human)
HP: 650
MP: 200
Vulnerable to Poison, Blind, Silence, Stop, Slow.
AI Script:
Condition:V00=00 & HP < 300{
No Interrupt{
Display Text: Magisa: Honey, a job for you!
Unhide Monster: Forza
No Interrupt{
Change Target:Single Enemy, Not self
Regen
Set V00=01
}
}
{Fire,Ice,Bolt}
{Aero,Specialty,Drain}
Nothing Zerky! can't handle, of course. Then again, there's that script where she goes under 300HP...
code:
Forza (Human, Heavy)
HP: 850
Vulnerable to Poison, Blind, Old, Sleep, Paralyze, Confuse, Berserk, Silence, Stop, Slow.
AI Script:
{Fight,Specialty,Fight}
He does nothing but physical attacks, with his special attack being a physical attack that does 150% damage.
Counter fails to proc and Zerky! gets overwhelmed in damage.
So let's remedy this.
I proceed to crit both my attacks and kill Magissa in one attack. The fight lasts ten seconds. Yeah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKjmWypf7Sw
FINAL LEVEL: 13
DEATHS: 1
The Whip can proc paralysis, which is very handy in certain situations.
Obligatory "Lenna getting herself killed to save a dragon" screenshot.
Fun Fact: Equip Rods lets you equip staves, too. So Zerky! can use the Healing Staff. Of course, he probably won't want to, but still. Sadly, there's no Equip Bells so he can't use the Diamond Bell here.
The Ashura is the strongest weapon we'll have awhile, and it can crit. Yeah, it's a nice get.
Walze or whatever the hell it's called in this version sells our first axe. Most axes suck though, they're inaccurate and do randomish damage.
More defense is nice.
These prevent Blind, very handy for an upcoming dungeon.
I try to fight Shiva but decide it's not worth it so I just go to the next dungeon instead.
For this fight I use Shirahadori just because this next boss is a joke anyway for a heavily-armored character.
code:
Garula (Creature)
HP: 1200
Vulnerable to Death, Stone, Toad, Poison, Blind, Old, Paralyze, Confuse, Berserk, Mute, Stop, Slow.
AI Script:
Condition:Status:Self:Toad{
Change Target:Self
Toad
}
Fight
Condition:HP < 800 & HP Damage{
No Interrupt{
Fight
{Specialty,Fight,Nothing}
}
}
Garula can be scary to characters with low defense. Berserkers can wear heavy armor though and Garula's attack is too low to bypass that.
Garula can do at max 9 damage to Zerky!. The most threatening thing is the HP Leak that still triggers from Garula's special attack.
Probably the easiest boss Zerky! will have to face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVzEbNxoDPE
FINAL LEVEL: 14
DEATHS: 0
hi
Then a sea dragon swallows Zerky! and friends until it gets sick and vomits them out.
Next time, the difficulty ramps up a bit with Liquid Flame, Ifrit, and Byblos. I also get my first taste of the wrath of the RNG, though probably not what you expect!