Part 151: Flight 2: When Things Fall, They Fall (like Jordan)

Omni-Dragoon Flight 2: When Things Fall, They Fall (like Jordan)



Set adrift after losing the awesome sea dragon, Jordan finds himself in a place quite appropriate for a dude hanging out with a trio of corpses. He lugs them around for a bit, fighting skeletons and zombie things, until he finds a room that smells a little less like death.



(Obligatory penis joke)





I'm with Galuf. The only thing that smells worse than a corpse is a waterlogged corpse.



(Obligatory shocked-but-not-really-expression-since-we-knew-this-already)



Like damn near everyone else, I consider having the world map stalk me, but I'm not sure I want to bother when I'm already knee-deep in this shit. Maybe when I start the FJF.



Undead Husks are beefy motherfuckers, being the first non-boss to require two Jumps to kill.



You ever have one of those moments where you do something at random, but then it turns out to be the best thing you could've done?

This was one of those moments for me. I tossed on Pharmacology simply because I couldn't think of a better sub-skill to go with, but then... well, most of you can probably guess how this will turn out already.



The FUCK they do! I'm still using them!



Siren here gave me my longest battle yet. Not hard, really (Karlabos was still a bit tougher to get by), but Siren is by far the biggest bitch. Her opening move was annoying enough...







Then she goes and blunts the force of my opening Jump.





Next, she shifts into Undead form. Her starting form does no direct damage, only buffs and debuffs, and has low defense but high magic defense (the latter makes no difference to Jordan, naturally). Undead form has high defense and rather nasty physical attacks. On the plus side, shifting to Undead form seems to dispel all her buffs, so she loses her Haste and Protect here. She only hits Jordan for about 48 damage, so given that it'd take 9 straight hits to bring him down, I wasn't worried at first.

Plus, you remember how I just said that Pharmacology was actually the best move I could've made? Well, if you haven't guessed why yet...





That would be why. Jordan's Jump only hits Undead Siren for about 16-32 damage. This is a much better use of his turns for the moment.





He finds time to drop a Potion on himself before dropping another on her. She seems to be slower in this form, too; she got that first Haste off before Jordan got to move, but in this state he got off 4 Potions (one for him and three for her) before she shifted back to her living form. Naturally, I think I've got this battle in the bag.



Then she does THIS.



Slow single-handedly serves to turn this battle from fairly one-sided to just about even. Siren's now getting about 1.5 to 2 turns for every one Jordan gets.



She also starts to heal herself...



And even stops to Sleep poor Jordan. Did I mention that Siren was a bitch?





She even manages to shift immediately before Jordan lands from a Jump. This is going to be a problem.



Potions. Potions are the way to go, now that I can't guarantee that Jumps won't hit Elvira here.



Here's where I very nearly earned myself my first non-Karlabos death. You see my HP and how I'm poisoned? I figured she must be nearly dead and she just shifted to Living just a turn ago, so I go for a Jump, as it should hit just before she shifts again.





It does, but she lives. Worse, she immediately shifts and I take a tick of poison damage.



Then she hits me, leaving me a hit away from death near the start of my ATB. Had she gotten the next hit, that would've been all she wrote (unless my shield blocked, but I think it failed to activate even once in this battle).





But luck is the patron god of fools, and I get off an Elixir literally an instant before she hits me again.





One last Potion and she's finally down, at 7 minutes and 36 seconds. Cripes.

Anyway, after offing that tremendous bitch of a zombie, we make our way to...



The village of Carwen. We wander about, finding nothing of real importa-



WHAT.



TELL ME YOUR SECRETS NOW



GOOD START. DESCRIBE.



Awesome.



We are ON THIS SHIT.



...After our piano practice. Only the classiest people can have dragons, you know.



Dragoons do it from above.

...What? I never said we had to be classy 24/7.



Jordan upgraded to Bronze gear in Carwen, by the way, but he's still stuck with that damn Dagger. But we've got some damn solid defense, so it all works out.



This is it. This is where we become TRUE DRAGOONS. Well, one true Dragoon and three corpses dressed like Dragoons.





A CLEVER STRATEGY, TRYING TO HARNESS THE POWER OF THE SKIES. BUT NONE SHALL HAVE IT BUT I.



Ooh, that looks nice and shiny.



So does that arrow! Wait, wh-









OH IT IS FUCKING ON NOW.



So your husband is into rape AND necrophilia? You make me sick, you, you...



Yes! Good save, Faris.



An earthquake attempts to do Faris in for good, but she just climbs back up. It's no Jump, but it'll do.



Not only will you not manage it, it'll only take ONE of us to deal with you. Have at you!



So Magissa is mostly magic-based. Thankfully it doesn't seem that impressi-





Okay, that's better.



She's also got Aero for shits and giggles.



Cut that shit out! (She actually does, thankfully, and this is the last time I see Drain).



Still, less than a minute into the battle and I already need an Elixir. Oi.







We get to Jumpin', and shortly she brings out her bruiser of a husband.





Uh oh. That might be a problem.



But on the other hand, Forza himself is not only doing laughable damage to Jordan in the back row...



...But I slapped Counter on Jordan for kicks.





Magissa only needs 2 more Jumps before she bites the dust.





Even Forza's Specialty attack fails to do respectable damage, and in the meantime he's eating Counters.



Oh, and by the way, I was wrong. Regen wasn't a problem at all. That's not part of the number he's recovering, that IS the number he's recovering.



One storm of Jumps and Counters later, Forza joins his wife in the grave without ever causing a serious threat. For once, Magissa was the bigger problem to this battle, Forza being utterly helpless against Jordan and his heavy armor and superior positioning. I didn't even need to heal once after that Elixir.







But... but we were going to ride it and be bros and stuff.



Lenna is all on that shit though, and retrieves some healing Dragon Grass for it. On the downside, she's not going to leave a beautiful corpse anymore (and I have doubts that she lived fast, either).



But on the plus side, our dragon is all better!



Wait, it's a Dragon/White Mage? YESSSSSS.









Good joke, Jordan. Get the fuck on.





Ladies and gentlemen...



We. Are. DRAGOONS.

Only downside is we now have no real destination.



Wait, weren't we looking for that king dude? Right, let's get on that. Logic dictates that the best place to find a missing person was the last place we actually saw them (possible ghost images don't count, Wind Shrine!). Join us next time when Jordan make kinda sorta starts to take this shit seriously.