Part 37: Post 12 - Magnesium

Walter the Chemist - Post 12 - Magnesium



When we last saw Walter, he had just butchered Omega, the ancient robot that even the Twelve Who Sealed Enuo could not rumble with. By himself. With .



See? No robit.

You'd think that would be good enough to call this over, but sadly there's more chumps that Walter has to deal with. Like this asshole.




Pfft. Did you see the rusted husk of Omega outside? You're not even a threat.

code:

Apanda (Heavy, Creature)
22200HP
1000MP
Weak to Fire.
Vulnerable to Blind, Berserk, Silence, Slow.

AI SCRIPT:
Condition:V00=01{
     No Interrupt{
          Display Text: Apanda:  -shiver- -tremble-
          Change Target:Self
          Medicine
          Reverse Polarity
          Set V00=00
          }
     }
{Thread,Hammer,Fight}
{Fight,Charm,Wind Slash}
{Hammer,Fight,Thread}
{Sonic Wave,Wind Slash,Fight}
React:Magic:Ifrit{
     No Interrupt{
          Reverse Polarity
          Display Text: Apanda:  Eek eek it's Ifrit
          Set V00=01
          Nothing
          }
     }
Condition:V00=00 & React:Physical{
     {Armor,Drain,Nothing}
     }
Condition:V00=00 & React:Magic{
     {Toad,Drain,Nothing}
     }

He freaks out hilariously if you cast Ifrit at him. Sadly this isn't something Walter has access to. That said, we're going to make this guy even more of a chump than he is normally. He's susceptible to Berserk, and additionally, to Blind. Bring on the new mixes!



Dark Sigh is Dragon Fang + Eyedrops. It inflicts Blindness and Confusion at A% hit rate - that is, it cannot miss and bypasses evasion. Bacchus's Cider and Dark Sigh is the usual go-to solution for murdering Shinryu.

Obviously, I will not be using that. I want to show the superbosses off in full, gory detail.

Speaking of full detail, let's detail another new mix!



Dragon Breath is two Dragon Fangs mixed together. Like Holy Breath, it does damage equal to the user's current HP, but Dragon Breath is in hybrid Fire/Lightning/Ice element. If you are weak to any of the three...




Wonderful!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88a3G8U3CkU

FINAL LEVEL: 102 (real level: 42)
RECORDED MIXES: 6
DEATHS: pfft



I double back for this because I am 110% going to need this for Shinryu. I might show off berserking him plus the Mirage Vest cheese in a later video, but for the real rumble, he's getting fought head-on.



Welcome to Void: Castle. Here, Beastmasters can find the double threat that nullifies Shinryu - a Mammon to bounce Berserk onto him, and a Galajelly to cast Rainbow Wind, which inflicts Blind (and Silence) at A% hit rate. Walter isn't concerned about that, obviously.




I have no idea why this amuses me as much as it does. However, he's our next boss and I kinda want the save point.

code:

Azulmagia (Heavy)
27900HP
50000MP
Weak to Poison.
Vulnerable to Blind.

{DrkShock,GuardOff,MindBlst}
{Condemn,Roulette,L2 Old}
{L5 Doom,L4 Qrter,MghtyGrd}
{TinySong,Flash,????}
{Aero 2,Emission,Missile}
{Time Slip,DeathClaw,WhiteWind}

I've omitted the fun part of Azulmagia - he's a blue mage (no shit), so he can learn other blue magic spells. Walter doesn't get to have this fun, though - in fact, this is a straight brawl for Walter. He has to dodge that ???? spell from coming up once he goes on the attack, and there's lots of nastiness in store elsewhere. He needs Goliath Tonic, Dragon Kiss, Lifeshield, and Protect Potion up asap.



And since Walter is level 42, Level 2 Old is in play. Because I'm bad. Luckily, the Breath spells don't give a shit about level!




For shits and giggles in the non-recorded run (that I use for screenshots), I use Poison Breath to show it off. Antidote + Dragon Fang, it does half of your current HP in poison damage, which means it does the same as Holy or Dragon Breath to Azulmagia (he's weak to Poison). It has a way longer animation than Holy Breath, so meh.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Or3YmPQPWik

Bye!

FINAL LEVEL: god only knows (real level: 42)
RECORDED MIXES: 12
DEATHS: 2 (one to Doom, one to Roulette)



Those of you who know what's next will know why this is funny.




Wheeeee~

code:

Catastrophe (Heavy)
19997HP
19997MP
Absorbs Earth.
Vulnerable to Blind, Old, Paralyze, Slow

AI SCRIPT:
Condition:Status:Party Member:Float{
     Gravity 100
     }
{Earth Shaker,Earth Shaker,Demon's Eye}
{Fight,Earth Shaker,Specialty}

See that bit about "Condition: Status: Party member: Float?" Yeah. That's why this guy is the chumpiest of chumps. 100 Gs can be reflected, as you see in the intro picture. Thus, I am going to go full on Catastrophe.



Awwww yeah.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF6lsUOKToQ

FINAL LEVEL: 102 (real level: 42)
RECORDED MIXES: 0
DEATHS: 0




Walter gets a kiss for murdering Catastrophe. Remember this - it will be paid back in a ironically hilarious manner very soon.



Walter: The wind stopped...



Halicarnassus, you have no idea.



Oh you think that.

code:

Halicarnassus (Heavy)
33333HP
5000MP
Vulnerable to Mini, Blind, Old, Silence, Slow.

AI SCRIPT:
Condition:V00=01{
     {Fight,Dynamo,Specialty}
     {Fight,Fight,Dispel}
     {Fight,Dynamo,Specialty}
     {Fight,Fight,Haste}
     {Fight,Dynamo,Specialty}
     {Fight,Fight,Shell}
     Set V00=00
     Holy
     }
Set V00=01
Change Target:Whole party
Kurururu!
React:Summon Magic{
     Display Text:   focusing power!
     Change Music??
     Strong Fight
     }

Halicarnassus doesn't like summons. Halicarnassus does like frogs. Halicarnassus drops big fat heavy Holies.

But that's too bad for Halicarnassus. You can't use your AI routine...



...you received my kiss of death!

In a moment of poetic justice, Walter makes out with Halicarnassus and shows off Blessed Kiss. Made of a Maiden's Kiss and a Holy Water, this grants a target Haste, Blink (two images), and Berserk. Blessed Kiss/Kiss of Blessing is very notorious, because that Berserk it grants?

It bypasses immunity to Berserk.

This is obviously busted. It means that, among other things, React: Death counter scripts do not fire. In the SNES version of FFV, this allows you to completely skip Neo-Exdeath - you simply Kiss the tree form, murder him, and that's that! Game over.

Blinded by murderous rage (and a Dark Sigh mix), Halicarnassus tries to beat the shit out of Walter. This predictably fails.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llVcHkkOGP4

FINAL LEVEL: 102 (real level: 42)
RECORDED MIXES: 11
DEATHS: 0



It's good to be king.



The last person who told me "you may not enter" had their life force sucked out through their mouth. I recommend you shut it.

code:

Twin Tania (Heavy, Creature)
50000HP
10000MP
Weak to Water, Holy.
Vulnerable to Blind, Silence, Slow.

AI SCRIPT:
{Atomic Ray,Snowstorm,Fight}
{Atomic Ray,Snowstorm,Fight}
Change Target:Whole party
MindBlst
Wind Slash
Wind Slash
Unhide Monster: Twin Tania (2nd form)
React:Physical{
     {Tidal Wave,Nothing,Nothing}
     }
React:Magic{
     {Mega Flare,Nothing,Nothing}
     }

Twin Tania, Form 2 (Creature)
50000HP
10000MP
Weak to Water, Holy.
Vulnerable to Death, Stone, Toad, Blind, Silence, Stop, Slow.

AI SCRIPT:
Display Text: Charging up for Giga Flare!
Nothing
Giga Flare
Unhide Monster: Twin Tania (1st form)

That's a lot of words, but they sum up to one thing:

Walter hunkers down. Walter endures attacks. Walter brews up a potion.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FV4KQXxlaUo

FINAL LEVEL: 42
RECORDED MIXES: 2
DEATHS: Potion




Twin Tania retreats and turns into stairs. Cool.



Welcome to the Void: Rift. This crystalline area is the final section of the Void, and where Walter's greatest test lies.

No, not fucking Exdeath, he's a baby. I mean Shinryu.



Also, Gilgamesh is down here! Remember, Exdeath sent him to the Void.



Well, here it is. The most terrifying treasure chest in Final Fantasy V. Why? It has a Special Kinder Surprise.

code:

Shinryu (Heavy, Dragon)
55500HP
51000MP
Absorbs Holy.
Vulnerable to Blind, Berserk, Silence, Slow.

Condition:V00=01{
     {Maelstrom,Fight,Roulette}
     {Snowstorm,Atomic Ray,Thunder}
     No Interrupt{
          {Maelstrom,Fight,Roulette}
          {MghtyGrd,L2 Old,L3 Flare}
          }
     No Interrupt{
          {Fight,Fight,Demon's Eye}
          {Fight,Fight,Poison Breath}
          }
     }
Nothing
No Interrupt{
     Set V00=01
     Tidal Wave
     }
React:Magic:No-Damage Magic{
     Set V00=00
     Zombie Breath
     }
Condition:HP < 20000 & HP Damage{
     {No-Damage Magic,Nothing,Nothing}
     }

That Tidal Wave is not innocuous. In fact, it is the whole reason Walter got that Coral Ring earlier. Without it?





So yeah. Here's the deal with Shinryu. He's fast. Too damn fast. You remember Omega? Ol' Shin here is 11 agility points faster. And just like Omega, I don't get to start with Haste active. Worse, this encounter is flagged to not be preemptive attack-able.

Now yes, I could treat this like I did Apanda. He's coded to be weak to Berserk, but like I said, I want to show you this in its entirety. And I will do so.

But first, a turtle shell farming/leveling montage. See, Shinryu has Level 2 Old, and I absolutely, positively CANNOT afford to get hit with it. Beyond that, I cannot fade it forever - I need more luck in other places for that. So I go and fill up the medicine cabinet again and hit level 43.

NOW, for the show.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRkii32hGIA

FINAL LEVEL: 203 (real level: 43)
RECORDED MIXES: 29
DEATHS: 178



After the hell I just went through, this is going to be a goddamned cakewalk.

Fucking try me.

code:

Necrophobe (Heavy)
44044HP
10000MP
Weak to ALL ELEMENTS.
Vulnerable to Blind, Silence, Slow.

Condition:V00=02{
     No Interrupt{
          {Fight,Fight,Hurricane}
          {Fight,Fight,Specialty}
          }
     No Interrupt{
          {Fight,Fight,Specialty}
          {Fight,Fight,Specialty}
          }     
     No Interrupt{
          {Fight,Fight,Hurricane}
          {Fight,Fight,Specialty}          
          }
     No Interrupt{
          {Fight,Fight,Specialty}
          {Fight,Fight,Doom}
          }
     }
Condition:Alone{
     Display Text: 'M... my invincible barrier...
     Display Text: 'Then I have no choice...
     Display Text: 'Have a taste of...
     Display Text: 'My real power!!
     Set V00=02
     Flash
     }
Condition:V00=01{
     Nothing
     }
Display Text: 'With these four barriers...
Display Text: 'I am now invincible!
Display Text: 'Can you defeat me?
Set V00=01
Nothing

I've trimmed a lot of his AI down, but the TL,DR is: when he's behind his Barriers, he's invincible. He does nothing. When they are down, he blinds everyone and spams actually pretty hard-hitting melee attacks and Vacuum Waves. He can also pop off a Hurricane or a Condemn.




The Barriers themselves have innate Reflect and spam spells off of themselves. This'd be a problem... if they didn't have a crippling weakness.





Admittedly, Walter does need to suck down a Goliath Tonic - I basically get two actions with Haste between the start of the fight and the Barriers beginning their artillery barrage. I could kill two, but then the other two would do juuuuuust enough damage to kill Walter. If I rejiggered my armor I could maybe find a solution, but I'd rather Goliath Tonic and then plaster them.





When the Barriers fall, the blind comes out. For what it's worth, I love that line.



He has the temerity to be weak to an element in the presence of a Chemist. FOOL!

Anyways, something special happens when he goes under 9999 HP, so I will not spoil it. I'll just leave this here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlZ_-NitASI

FINAL LEVEL: 43
RECORDED MIXES: 13
DEATHS: 0



The light, bought with blood, is a save point. Good, because the final battle looms. ...once I go get some Dragon Fangs. 20 fangs is both enough and keeps me at level 43. No reason why 43, I just like it. It was good enough for Shinryu!



Look, YOU try to fight Shinryu as a solo chemist, asshole!



I sold them all up the river for money to make mixes! TOO LATE, ASSHOLE!



The end.

Nah, sorry, there's full of plot after that. Let's punch a tree in the face.

code:

Exdeath (Heavy, Human (:psyduck:))
49001HP
30000MP
Vulnerable to Slow.

Condition:HP < 10000{
     {Meteo,Fight,Nothing}
     }
Condition:HP < 30000{
     {Flare,Holy,Fight}
     {Fight,Fight,White Hole}
     {Fight,White Hole,Nothing}
     {Fight,Condemn,White Hole}
     }
{Fight,White Hole,Nothing}
{Fight,White Hole,Fight}

Nothing too troubling. The Condemn is fixed by Lifeshield, the White Hole as well. Holy blunted by Shell, and ideally I just... don't eat a Meteo.

Several Succubus Kisses later...

code:

Neo Exdeath, Melee (Heavy)
50000HP
65000MP
Vulnerable to Blind, Silence, Stop, Slow.

Neo Exdeath, Grand Cross (Heavy, Dragon)
55000HP
65000MP
Vulnerable to Blind, Paralyze, Stop.

Neo Exdeath, Almagest (Heavy, Creature)
55000HP
65000MP
Vulnerable to Stone, Blind, Old, Silence, Stop.

Neo Exdeath, Mage (Human)
60000HP
65000MP
Vulnerable to Poison, Blind, Silence, Stop, Slow.

I'm not including AI routines because they're long and they all have separate freak-out routines if they're the only one alive. Let's break it down like this:

The back piece (the cactuar's leg) casts -aga spells (including Aeroga) as well as Delta Attack.
The lower middle piece (the cactuar's belly) casts Almagest once every four turns. Almagest does ridiculous damage in Holy flavor, but is again blunted by Shell.
The upper middle piece (the cactuar's upper arm) casts Grand Cross at ever-shortening intervals based on its HP. Grand Cross is Ye Olde Roll Dice, Apply Statuses Based On Outcome supermove. It's a dick.
The front piece (the cactuar's head) melees. Really fucking hard. Thank fuck it can be blinded and Walter has Protect.

The strategy for this is really simple. The Magic Lamp, which I grabbed off-camera when I was replenishing dragon fangs, releases for every summon in the game. I use the first two during the Tree form for some added damage, and then Odin comes out and fucks up the non-heavy spellcaster piece.



Next plan of attack, murder the Grand Cross asshole. Grand Cross is a double fucker of an attack and here's why:

code:

ATTACK TYPE (HEX: 63) (Grand Cross)
1) If Target has Dead or Zombie status, the attack misses;
   do not follow any more steps.
2) Let N1 = (0..17)
3) If N1 = 0, inflict Dead status. ***
4) If N1 = 1, inflict Stone status.
5) If N1 = 2, inflict Toad status. *
6) If N1 = 3, inflict Mini status. **
7) If N1 = 4, inflict Poison status. **
8) If N1 = 5, inflict Zombie status.
9) If N1 = 6, inflict Darkness status. **
10) If N1 = 7, inflict Aging status. *
11) If N1 = 8, inflict Sleep status. ****
12) If N1 = 9, inflict Paralyze status. ****
13) If N1 = 10, inflict Charm status. 
14) If N1 = 11, inflict Berserk status.
15) If N1 = 12, inflict Mute status.**
16) If N1 = 13 or N1 = 14, inflict Stop status. ****
17) If N1 = 15, inflict Countdown status.
18) If N1 = 16, inflict HP Leak status.
19) If N1 = 17, 
    If the Target is Heavy, attack misses;  do not follow any more steps. ***
    Let N2 = (1..9).  If Target's Current HP > N2, Target's Current HP = N2.

A legend for the asterisks:
* - I can fix this with an item or mix
** - I don't give a shit about this
*** - I already prepped for this in advance with mixes
**** - Hermes Sandals make me immune

See how there's a, um, worrisome lack of asterisks on some particularly nasty bits like "stone" and "zombie" and "countdown"? Yeah. Fuckshit needs to die pronto.

Except... in three attempts of doing this, this has happened with that piece having one Succubus' Kiss of HP left:



FUCK. THIS. SHIT.

Remember how I said Blessed Kiss bypasses immunity to Berserk? Remember how we pissed Halicarnassus off so bad that Halicarnassus couldn't do shit? Well I'm literally angry with rage right now so FUCK YOU.



Cast Grand Cross now you cockbite.



WHAT.

you know what fuck it fine, asshole, we'll endure the hail




Guess what! Grand Cross can even inflict statuses that you ostensibly should be immune to! HELL YEAH!

It takes some time. It takes grit and determination. It takes bullheaded belief in science. It takes scrawling on note paper that I fuck up on.

On "unlucky" attempt 13?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNs7hgSoKyA

Eat a bag of hell, Exdeath.

FINAL LEVEL: 103 (real level: 43)
RECORDED MIXES: 67
DEATHS: 12

GRAND TOTALS:
FINAL LEVEL: 43 (Sulla's: 50 at NED, 53 at Shinryu)
MIXES ON BOSSES: 409
DEATHS TO BOSSES: 217