Part 8: Page 8

On the way to the Quicksand Desert, the party runs into a forest, which it turns out is the remains of the Forest of Mua.

Everybody has a little emo moment and they go back to saving the world.


In the Quicksand Desert, the sand has stopped moving because the power of the earth is weakening. And so are the powers of fire, water, and air, I suppose. So should we save the world before or after it's become a ball of cold stone and stagnant water incapable of hosting any forms of life?


Before I can head in the pyramid, I'm attacked by these guys. There's boss music playing, but they aren't even really bosses. I wanted some way of killing them instantly, so I had Butz cast Break Sword and use X-Fight to petrify them all.


The Sealed Book gets all crazy when I show it the door. The page containing this line pops out and catches on fire, but it still has all the rest of the lines in it, so I guess whoever wrote the Sealed Book has really big handwriting.

Inside the pyramid, I find enemies and treasure and shit.

These two fall into the third category. Two more items with really high defense and really shitty drawbacks. The first one kills you in 50 seconds, and the second one constantly drains your HP. Both serve their purpose of annoying the fuck out of me when I change people's abilities and they're automatically equipped. Who the fuck uses this shit?!

Monsters and items and yadda yadda yadda.

Mission accomplished! Great shot! Return to base immediately.

So I head whoa

Bahamut shows up, is really fucking big, issues me a challenge, and flies off to North Mountain, where he will presumably shrink because right now he's like twice as big as it.


Let's go get our wings back!

On my way I have to go through the Forest of Mua again, and look who's here.

The Hiryuu, carrying Lenna, who apparently didn't get sucked into the giant black void.

...Or did she???

AAAH MOTHER FUCK


Okay, Exdeath has officially gone too far. You do not fuck with a man's turtle!


Yadda yadda yadda

KAMIKAZE!!!!

The Hiryuu runs into Lenna which somehow separates the monster from her body, so we all grab our swords and kill it.


I always made fun of Merugene because I liked to read her name as Meringue, and then I called her fruity. Get it? Because it's like meringue and it's fruity? Yeah, I was kind of an unfunny faggot. Anyway, uh, she randomly changes weaknesses between fire, ice, and thunder, so I just have Butz cast Fire3 Sword and use X-Fight. It technically has a 1/3 chance of not working, but I really don't care.


In yet another first for RPGs, someone tells a weakened someone else not to speak and they actually don't speak.

We all pile on the airship and get all heroey.

Actually, I probably could handle Exdeath right now. But fuck that, I gotta catch 'em all!

Meanwhile, back in the Cleft of Dimensions...

The Void is being a bitch to Exdeath, but he uses his feminine charm to persuade it into destroying stuff.


Walz and Istory are the first two to go. But honestly, who cares.


Okay, now you messed with the wrong people and moogles. Butz gets super pissed and nearly destroys the airship, but the others manage to get him away from the wheel.


So I decide to check out this nonsense about seals and weapons and tablets at Sealed Castle Kuzar. The dudes from the Wind Shrine are chilling there for some reason.

I head into the basement.

Indeed it is, Butz! And now you can be the lucky new owner of three of the following weapons!

• The Excalibur, a very powerful sword imbued with the holy element!
• The Assassin Dagger, a knife that randomly inflicts instant death!
• The Hardened Dagger, a ninja sword randomly blocks attacks!
• The Holy Lance, a powerful spear imbued with the holy element!
• The Rune Axe, an axe which consumes MP to inflict extra damage!
• The Masamune, a katana that always gives the user the first strike in combat!
• Yoichi's Bow, a bow that has a high chance of inflicting critical damage!
• The Flame Whip, a whip imbued with the fire element that randomly attacks its target with a powerful fire spell!
• The Sage Staff, a staff that deals extra damage to the undead and strengthens the holy element!
• The Wizard Rod, a rod that increases the power of almost all elements!
• Apollo's Harp, a harp that deals extremely high damage to dragons and the undead!
• The Earth Bell, a bell that strengthens the earth element and randomly attacks all enemies with an earthquake! So, which three of these twelve wonderful weapons do you want to walk home with?