Part 28: Apocalypse Any Time Now

Like any good villain, Kefka neglected to make sure all his enemies were dead before getting out of town although in his case I suppose it can be excused since he is a deranged clown.

Anyway. Serious scene here. Aeris places some flowers on the grave.


I... I wanted you to teach me so much more...



While they're busy listening to Aeris angst, Interceptor slowly drags himself in from the left side of the screen.

Not only Leo, but Batman, too... Curse the Empire!

I call bullshit. We never saw a body

That'll have to do for now, buddy.

So anyway Indy binds the dog's wounds or something because it's not as if I taught him Cura several hours ago or anything.

You're so sweet...

*gag*



Now I'm worried about Tim and the others back in the Empire...

I hope they're all right...

And speak of the devil, we fade out...



...and find the Blackjack making its way towards Thamasa at top speed.



It seems they've finally wised up to what those of us with brains have known all along.

Thanks to King Tim, we managed to escape before the trap was sprung.

It sounds like they had another tactical espionage section while I was gone. Damn it, I always miss out on the good stuff.

...well, I got to physically and mentally abuse a retarded octopus, so I guess they missed out too.

Good work, Tim!

The lady who brought us tea tipped me off to the whole crooked plot...
I'd barely finished exchanging pleasantries with her when she just blurted it out!



I've heard of people "blurting out" the wrong name at embarrassing moments, but revealing the emperor's secret evil plan has got to be a record. Maybe Tim is better than I give him credit for.

..."Pleasantries"?



Did you think I could be so rude as to meet a lady and not make any moves at all?
It was a matter of courtesy, dear brother! Courtesy!

Tim is kind of but I suppose he's off the hook this time because that is an impressive feat.

General Leo's dead... Kefka... murdered him.

Actually Leo attacked him first and it was single combat so I'm pretty sure that's not the right word, although I suppose Leo doesn't care much about the difference.

At least not any more.

Because he's dead.

Sir Leo? Dead!?
What a terrible waste...
He was one of the few people in the Empire who truly understood.

I keep thinking that if he truly understood, he would have lopped Kefka's head off back at Doma. I'm sure the emperor wouldn't have been happy, but it would have spared us a lot of bullshit.

We need to rethink our plans. Let's return to the airship.



And you would be...?

He's from this village.

He's a descendant of the magi. He'll be useful to have along.

He's actually not going to be all that useful, but hey, the more the merrier, and since he's not Indy, he'll probably bring the party's average IQ up by several points!



If it's not related to machinery, women or alcohol, Tim doesn't know or care, but it's okay, we have people like Alfred and Gambit to do the thinking for him now.

The Empire has abused its power for the last time.
We cannot allow them to get away with this.

And of course:



I think not, young lady!

Something about this feels curiously familiar...

We can't have kids getting in our way!





Kid's got quite a lip!

Grr...! I'm gonna paint your picture!

...as much of a mood breaker as this exchange is, it's still better than MrThou's recruitment mission, and I honestly love it. It's like the dumbest threat ever, except it would actually work!

...granted, it would work poorly, and only part of the time... but it would work.

Kind of.





Oh, all right already! Not like you stay at home when you're told, anyway...

Yay!

She is so much better than that other brat we've been dragging along for who even cares how long.

All right, let's go!

And so everybody walks off... except Tim.

Robin decides to poke her nose where it doesn't belong again.



...How old are you?

Ten... Why?



I'm honestly not sure what this gesture is supposed to be. And, Robin puts words to what I'm sure we're all feeling:

Weirdo. I'm going on ahead, okay?

And that's exactly what it does, leaving Tim...



...to drop a line...



...that puts him firmly side by side with Indy in the creepiness division.

---


Said they'd found some statues or something...

We leave town, and the next plot point occurs as soon as we board the flyboat, which is parked just outside.

It couldn't be...!

---



...but of course it is.

The Warring Triad is waiting just beyond that door...
I need only to reach out and claim it for my own, and all of my dreams will be fulfilled!



Hurry it up!

Kefka looks a bit grumpy, but he follows.

...for now.

---



The island... Something's happening! The earth is crying out...



I have a bad feeling about this...



Maybe I'm mistaken. It's such a pleasant



day



wait



what







A good-sized chunk of the world map just... up and left. I don't think that's normal!



You wouldn't recognize the place now, but...



...the clowns driving it are just who you expected.

...the world will be mine to command!

Say, that's pretty cool. I wonder if I could get my own floating continent.



...but no, I'm stuck with a flying boat. Which is nice, don't get me wrong, but it lacks a certain... something.

Like several million tons of rock.

Those things?

They're said to have turned themselves to stone facing one another.
That way, each one's powers would be neutralized by those of the other two.
If the three of them were ever moved out of their perfect alignment...
...the resulting power imbalance would destroy the world as we know it.

Spoiler:

oh I'm not even going to say it.

What!?



So the flyboat takes off, and we...



...have a choice.

And you all know what that means: sidequest time.

Unfortunately, we've already done pretty much everything there was to do



First, we're going to land again and traumatize Robin by bringing her back to the town she just saw destroyed.



Except it looks curiously un-destroyed.



that's



Can't that clown do anything right?



This is the only house in town that looks anywhere near "torched", and we saw it happen long before Kefka even showed up.

It's not even as if they'd have needed to create a new tileset, they could have used this exact one!


I come back here for the first time in ages, and the place looks like it's been through a war!
What in the world happened?

The only thing of real interest here is this guy. He's a palette swap, but he has a unique colour! That must mean he's important.



And sure enough.

Oh, Alfred! Have you come back to hunt Hidon?



...evidently not.

You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Back when you were young, you tried so hard to hunt down Hidon... but then you gave up and quit before you found him.

I didn't quit! It's just... I sort of... I mean...
The thing lives in Ebot's Rock, and after the place sunk, well...

Always have to make excuses, don't you?
You're pathetic!

This is all very interesting, but it will only become relevant at a later date...



There is one more thing to do in Thamasa before moving on, and that is to stock up on elemental rods if you like that sort of thing. They're still pretty nice nukes at this point, so I get a few of each type. Hey, what else am I going to do with all that money, buy potions?



Meryl is now back in the pool of useable characters. I should probably, like... teach her some magic or something, but...

I'm not just sitting here playing games! ...I'm thinking up our next strategy!

Also, some of the people in here have new lines.

What's important to me...? Bah! If I were attached to things, I couldn't gamble!

You are a big dumb stupid liarface.

I traveled around the world, too, in my younger days...

And you still only know like three lores. Shame on you.

Hey! Do you want me to paint your portrait?

DEAR GOD NO

We'll bring peace back to the world... no matter what!

Good luck with that.

The rest of them don't have anything useful to add, so we'll just get on with this.



I'm going to get Alfred a couple of extra blue magic spells, though. It's not required and he'll probably never use most of them, but hey, it fills up the spell list nicely.

Dischord halves the target's level. This can be useful for stealing, or possibly some later spells that target based on this.

I also pick up Self-Destruct (it does what it says and sucks).



And here's the reason I brought Bruce along. "Beating" Intangir allows us to encounter it on the V... that awful place I'm not going to mention by name. Leaping on it teaches Bruce the ability...



...to delete himself from existence.

And teach Alfred to do the same.

Transfusion fully heals the target but removes the user from battle. They're worse than dead, they're gone and there's no way you'd ever want to use this, but it amuses me to see Bruce try.



Pictured: Sketch being useful! Robin sketched the Onion Knight for Roulette, which kills a random target, friend or foe. It's useless, but Alfred can learn it, so let's.



Unseelie will use Traveler if confused.



It's not all that great, but it is a steady, reliable source of single target non-elemental damage, if you ever find yourself caring.



There are more lores that I could potentially pick up, but I don't care anywhere near enough to seek them out. Instead, we'll stop by South Figaro. Although the emperor is a big doo-doo-head, he actually keeps his promise and withdraws his troops from here... not that you care, since there's really nothing new here.



They even left a suit of Magitek armour behind! Pity we can't steal it.



This guy needs to get with the program.

Also, he's blocking the back entrance to the path Indy and Meryl escaped through way back.



This would be very tragic, I'm sure, if I had ever met the man.



One last thing to take care of...



...it's not stealing if he's picking up stuff in his own room.



The castle has very little of interest, sadly. This relic is the only thing that's not a consumable, and...



...it's not all that great, though I suppose we could find a use for it if we tried really hard.

We can also rest for free in one of the rooms here, but as long as we have free healing on the flyboat, that's really not very relevant.



Mhh, something seems off about this, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Because it's not there anymore.



Well then. Everything finished and done with, and I think it's time to head out to the very definitely final dungeon!