Part 10: Episode IX: Eyedrops

Episode IX: Eyedrops


They're really busting out the creativity with these stage names. It's time for our new location - Edge.


I hope you like the color gray!

Elsewhere in town...


"Hahaha! Slashed, strangled, and slaughtered. Beaten, stabbed, and crushed. Garroted and impaled. Shot and executed without mercy. Hmm..."


"You do the League of Saturday Morning Cartoon Villains proud... Yeesh, that is a mouthful. I'm glad the 'Tsviets' name change went through."


This game just has to be self aware that it's horrible. It has to!


Not the WRO 32nd Clone Squadron!

On the other side of town...


It seems Vincent is taking a stealthy approach to this stage. I guess hanging on the edge of vehicles and flipping over buildings isn't right for this situation.


What manner of freakish feet am I looking at...? Where are the toes?!


Huh. It seems whores in Edge are a bit overly persuasive.


I think this just about sums up Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus.


"..."
"..."
"..."
"My eye is up here, chief."
"Ergh!"



"Nice save..."
_{"I don't get out much...}


Seriously... What the fuck is she wearing...?


"Well, less 'sent me' and more 'crashed our vehicle and I had to walk here'."
"Yeah, that sounds like Reeve. Anyhow..."


"The commissioner has told me much about you."
"Oh yeah?"
"He always told me you dressed like a bad Count Dracula knock-off. I never knew he was serious."
"..." <frown>
"What happened here?"
_{"Way to change the subject."}


"I'm here on other business, but something's not right. It's too quiet. I've seen no trace of Deepground, or the squads that were sent in to fight them. Also, where are the 500 who are supposed to still be living here?"
"500 people live here?"
"Yes. There was quite the boom in population after Meteorfall. I hear they're calling them Meteorbo-"
"I believe Reeve already told me the term. This town is supposed to be right on the edge of Midgar, right? The formerly largest city on the planet? Only 500 people bothered to resettle nearby?"
"If a moon almost fell on your town, would you come back to live there?"
"...Good point."


A pointless cutscene? In this game? You're yanking my chain.


"Business?"
"The commissioner keeps telling me I'm wasting my time searching. But, that's coming from a guy who builds robots of himself to house a robot cat he likes to play around with. I'm taking it with a grain of salt."
"Searching for what?"



"..."
"..."
"This is the tightest my pants have been in years..."

Special Feature:


You knew this was coming. Up today we have a Nomura design that goes in the bold direction of being both slutty and absolutely retarded in the same instance - Shalua Rui.


I don't know where to start between the silly ass hooker outfit, high heels, robotic arm with Mario Brothers type glove, and the labcoat to top it all off (I'm fairly certain she always has one arm in the coat) on top of things... That's not even getting into the Cyclops perpetually blinking thing. You know, do I really have to comment on this?

Fuck you, Nomura.

Tune in Next Time For:


Snipers!


Children!!


Gray!!!

Bonus Movies:

Stage 3 Intro

Cutscenes Present: 2
Cutscenes Total: 37