Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus Part #21 - Episode XX: M-M-Monster Kill

Part 21: Episode XX: M-M-Monster Kill

Looking back over the last few pages, we had two which were just endless belt and zipper jokes and that was just a lull in updates... I'll be closing the thread when we reach a stopping point. I'll reopen it or open a new one, depending on the length of downtime. Anyhow, update!

Episode XX: M-M-Monster Kill

Following the cutscene, we are immediately thrown into another Stage Mission: Collecting four 3.5" floppy disks! Well, actually there's only three left. Remarkably enough, the one from the cutscene counts in the collection.

These 'Omega Report' files are actually Files, by the way. As in the Capcom style 'rambling passages that just happen to be plot relevant' definition of the term. Since, of all the things to bogart off Capcom, files would be it.

Discovery!

I like how Final Fantasy VII, for all its world expanding editions has a history that is basically:

- The Ancients wrote stupid poetry and lived in shells or some shit.
- Jenova showed up and killed them because they were dumb.
- A long fucking time passed.
- Vague war with Wutai.
- Final Fantasy VII relevant events.

A world history should not fit on a flash card after six iterations in the setting. But, that's just my opinion.

With the one freebee out of the way, Vincent is forced into searching the endless corridors and back-rooms of the Shinra Manor with not so much as the slightest hint as to where these files may be. There is also no indication as to how many there actually are to be collected or the number on each floor of the mansion.

So, surprisingly enough, this fetch quest sort of sucks.

The first Omega Report is tucked neatly behind some machinery in a nearby room. It isn't too hard to find. Well, other than the fact if you opened the door from the outer hallway, you have to halfway clip through the open door to make it around to the disc. But, not much trouble, other than that.

No New Findings

So, this whole research project is based on an old stone someone carved some vague poetry to and capitalized a few words for emphasis? Did the Cetra have any recreational activities that this might have been? For all they know it could be a plot synopsis for a daytime soap opera. Are people two thousand years from now going to base their social understanding of today's period by thumbing through old print-outs of Sephiroth x Vincent fanfics?

The rest of the basement and subsequent caverns following it (is it still technically a basement if it isn't really connected to the main structure?) hold little of interest.

We can stumble upon Vincent's old coffin in a back room of the cave.

A new sword wielding Deepground soldier bursts out of Vinnie's old bed for a surprise attack. What kind of fuckwit hides in a coffin in hopes of ambushing someone? I mean really? That is a plan that Count Dracula would take one look at and just shake his head in embarrassment.

Further into the caves, Vinnie gets this extremely random stage mission.

I'm fairly certain this is just some gameplay mechanic some guy coded early on then bitched to the higher-ups when they never bothered to use it. So, they just picked a random room, removed a few guards, and added in some mines.

As you can see, the mines are invisible. They are, however, not inaudible. For some inexplicable reason, the mines begin to beep extremely loudly when Vincent approaches.

When he gets within a foot of said mine, they suddenly lose their cloaking ability and reveal their true stupidly large neon orange nature.

Following this, they remain completely visible for ~~destruction~~ deactivation at Vincent's leisure. There is a time limit to the section, but unless you happen to be deaf, running full speed through the area because you turned your head during the Stage Mission notice, and are just really fucking dumb on top of it, it'll take all of forty seconds.

On a related note, I do believe that is the single most ineffective mine I have ever seen in any form of media ever.

A bunch of long, pointless caverns later.

The main area of Shinra Manor has remained relatively unscathed from retroactive remodeling. Well, mostly. There's a warehouse sized back room to the mansion now. But, details...

Oh, okay. I lied. There's a shit load of crates now too. But, other than that, it's unscathed. The final two Omega Report files are found stuffed behind crates on the first and second floor's western side, respectively.

Alternate Theories

I find it interesting that Lucrecia left all this Omega Report crap behind for Vincent...but she apparently didn't write it, since the allusions to an assistant are obviously talking about Lucrecia.

Just who is this mysterious Omega Report author? Well, just look deep into your mind and drum up the most cliché character reveal you can muster. There you will find your answer.

The Terrasystem

Local legends? This would imply Final Fantasy VII's world had some manner of diverse culture. Other than the hippies at Cosmo Canyon, every other location in the planet is directly controlled by Shinra, bitching about Shinra, or yokels that like snowboarding. That's about it.

But, I'm glad this professor managed to get a grant to do a study based on local hearsay and baseless conjecture.

Several near identical crate filled rooms later.

Vincent suddenly and apparently painfully is trusted into yet another flashback.

Err...a flashback we've already seen... A flashback of a flashback... This shit is getting meta.

"Well, well. We meet again."

_{"Great... I'm going to need an aspirin after this..."}

"How long have you been waiting in here?"

"I'd wait any length for you, little Vincent."

"This is not a number."

"I... It's only been a couple of hours."

"Deepground. What are they attempting to do with Omega? We are nearly half way through the game. Any clear motive would be helpful, at this point."

Well, hey. It's like they read the player's mind.

"Hail Weiss. And what Weiss orders, we do. It is very simple. There was that one time with... Well... We do not speak of the Noodle Incident with outsiders."

"We could care less what happens to the planet. Self-preservation is soooo dated. But, all this matters little to me. It is not every day you are granted the chance to cleanse the world of all life. Nor is it every day you can make a statement like that with a straight face."

"The Deepground soldiers were born and bred to kill. Well... Actually, quite a few were conscripts. But, other than that... We were chained to a destiny of servitude to an organization we could only describe as 'cartoonishly incompetent'. Is it any surprise we turned out this way?"

"And what do you think we did when we gained our freedom?"

"That was how we were raised. That is all we knew. And so I bathed in the blood of a thousand soldiers. And I enjoyed it. I reveled in it. And when I finally stepped out of the abyss, I craved for more."

"Wait. You killed a thousand soldiers before you even left Deepground."

"Indeed I did. My slaughter was boundless."

"But...they were your guys, weren't they?"

"Well... I suppose they were a part of Deepground... But they were weaklings. Not worthy of existence alongside me. Do you feel it? Their agony as I killed them one by one? Do you feel fear, Vincent?"

"Fear what? You are a teamkilling fucktard."

"Ahahaha. That is what I-what? That was not the response I was hoping for. I mean... You've killed hundreds of warriors. You understand, right?"