Part 24: Episode XXIII: Parole
Episode XXIII: Parole
Okay...maybe it didn't happen like that... But, a man can dream...
Yuffie proceeds to whine like an eight year old who just stubbed her toe. Keep in mind during this scene that she's supposed to be what? Nineteen at this point?
"C'mon, aren't you at least a little concerned!?"
"Is your name 'Lucrecia'?" "No..." "Then you have your answer. Tch... Fine. Yuffie. It's been a while. How's your head?"
"No... Not to be rude or anything. I am just saying I am physically incapable of it. Ugh... And standing up it seems..."
"A hole in my chest?" "I seriously thought you were a goner, but then the wound healed itself right up." "Did my outfit also magically mend itself and wipe clean all the blood?" "Why would there be a hole in your outfit?" "'Cause there was a h-you know what? Forget it."
I think she's calling him gay.
"Me? I'm just helping out Reeve and his gang. He called up sobbing. I think he'd had a few. Something about Cait Sith eating dark chocolate or something. I'm not sure. It wasn't too coherent. Anyhow, they needed a new comic relief character so tah-dah!"
"...and I found you looking all corpse like in Shinra Manor. So I saved you." "You just happened to be investigating a town in the complete middle of nowhere?" "Yeppers." "On a different continent?" "That's right." "And you just happened to be in Shinra Manor? And I assume watched that whole fight with the spider robot and someone jogging up and stab me in the chest?" "I caught most of it." "And your weapon just happened to have a flash-grenade material for just such a rescue occasion?" "Always come prepared!" "So...why the disguise?" "For the benefit of the player, silly." "...The player?!" "Of course." "Are you sure you're alright from that bump on the head?" "No prob! Anyway..."
"Do I get any thanks? "Thanks, Yuffie." "I didn't mean for you to take me so seriously." "I said it in the same tone as asking you about your head. How did you know I wasn't being sarcastic again?" "Cuz I already did an angry reaction. Now it's cutesy and embarrassed. Bipolar characters are all the rage, ya know?"
I bet he wants to brag to Yuffie how
Am I the only one Reeve is sort of like that 'friendly but sort of creepy' kid you let sit at your lunch table in high school You know the type.
"Psst. Who's he talking about?" "Cait Sith."
"Why's he still using Cait Sith? Is it still Scottish? It really creeped me out last time it was around." "Oh God. I thought I was the only one." "Red XIII refuses to be in any more games if that thing is around."
"How is Red, anyhow?" "He's okay." "His tail still on fire?" "Yeah... Yeah, it's still burning." "That's good. I should visit him some time."
"Do you have his cell number?" "As in cellphone...? How does that even work?" "Didn't you see Advent Children? Everyone on the planet is sporting a Limited Edition Panasonic P900 iV available now for a low-low price at your local service provider. Why wouldn't Red have one?" "Well, mostly because he lacks thumbs. But, I forgot about the new Panasonic P900 iV Big Cats Edition for all your opposable thumb lacking needs. It was silly to bring it up."
"Seen the rest of the old team lately? I haven't really gotten out much. The brooding and all." "Well, Aeris is still dead. Other than you and Reeve, I haven't really talked to many of the other guys. Though, I met some guy named 'Zack' that was exactly like Cloud, same giant sword and spiky hair and all. Only he wasn't an emo prick."
"Oh? What was he like?" "Just a prick." "Oh... Well, when was this?" <shrug> "Like around a decade ago."
"Oh... Then, why bring it up now?" "I dunno... It's strange. I just sort of remembered it recently. I mean, I think the guy has the exact same sword Cloud had and everything." "That is strange. Then again, I'm remembering a bunch of inane stuff about Lucrecia I didn't recall earlier."
"Think it's connected?" "Nah. Who'd care that much about this boring little planet to go to the trouble of drumming up the past ten years later?" "Hah. I guess you're right."
"Huh? He's done already." "Yeah, I wasn't paying attention either. But, like I said. It sounds big. I think I caught an 'omega' in there somewhere. I'd be disappointed were it like some villainous dwarf or something."
"They've only been around for a couple of weeks, tops." "Tch. That's like a lifetime!" "In stupid years... "I HEARD THAT!"
I hate this game... Let's go find another scene.
Elsewhere...
Is it really necessary to stick someone in a giant fish jar if they've just been hit with a tranquilizer dart? Are beds simply too retro for the WRO's tastes?
"Is this--?! Oh...rats. I'm still in this game."
Were towels simply never invented in Final Fantasy VII's world?
Oh... Lovely. Not only is the little girl who tried to kill the head of the organization, the chief of 'totally a scientist' personnel, and the only competent fighter the group has not imprisoned...but they left her weapon unguarded on a desk feet away from her. No, I am not counting Dr. McStrokevictimtits passed out after a bender as 'guarding' it either.
Meanwhile at the WRO...
You know how Azul died? Yeah...he was supposed to be dead at the conclusion of that boss fight. Yes, it's news to me as well.
Well, in any case, he's not so dead anymore. I guess that's what you get for presuming enemies dead as soon as they fall down and not...ya know...putting two or three more slugs in their dome to make sure. Or doing anything with the body a week or so later...
Back in Dr. Strokevictimtits' laboratory...
Okay, question: How the fuck are her gloves glowing? She's got some energy pack thing on her back for the
This is what my brother told me most days, around that age.
"I have to admit, I wasn't myself back there. Seeing you for the first time in ten years left me in a spin. But I've had time to recover. It's amazing what spotty character development can be cleared up in the course of a couple shots of whiskey and a nap."
"Not this time. Shelke, I'm sorry it had to come to this... For you see now... Now... I'm crushing your head!"
"I don't recall needing your permission to do anything." "And I don't recall you being able to win any of our fights, do you? How about it, want to try your luck?" "Are you honestly bringing up how you beat me as a child as a means to convince me to reunite with you? Really?"
So... Does Dr. Strokevictimtits know kung fu or is she just going to take out Shelke all Indiana Jones style, with her gun, in the next cutscene? In either case, I can't say I'm impressed with someone beating up <someone with the body of> a nine year old girl.
Meanwhile, in one of the endless corridors of the WROHQ...
Honestly, who thought it a wise idea to make exactly three models for the entire WRO army? I'd be happy with this guy having brown hair, at this point. We're about at the point where we could replace the Star Trek 'red shirt' term with 'blonde haired guy'.
And Azul seems to have gotten even bigger. If only that's all that happened...
Tune in Next Time For:
Seiges!
Car Wrecks!!
Major Characters Being Blown the Fuck Up!!!
Bonus Movies:
Yuffie and Vincent in a Van. Also Reeve.
Stupid WRO Crap
Cutscenes Present: 5
Cutscenes Total: 85