Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus Part #25

Part 25: Episode XXIV: CTU

Episode XXIV: CTU

You know how there was a big siege at the WRO Headquarters like a week ago?

Yeah, the WRO is basically the CTU of Final Fantasy VII's continuity.

But, what's this? A stealthy infiltration using snipers with silenced rifles? No nine foot tall elves punching open walls? No waves of identical meat puppets running headfirst down corridors shooting everything in sight...other than an actual enemy combatant? Is this a newer, more conservative Deepground?

Okay...I don't think that's particularly safe...

And I don't think walking through glass is a particularly healthy hobby...

Falling several stories probably isn't doing anyone any favors either...

You know what? Forget I said anything. It's the same fuckwit tactics as before, only Vincent just happens to be absent and apparently the one CCTV camera they had in the front lobby has yet to be repaired.

Elsewhere...

"Commissioner!"

"Officer!"

"Commissioner!"

"Officer!"

"Commissioner!"

"Officer!"

"Charlotte!"

"Jonathan! No, that's not right..."

"Argh!"

"Deepground!?"

"I've got a package for a Reeve Tuesti here. Is there a Reeve Tuesti in the building?"

"A package? For me? Why who could it be from?! Is it Cloud?! I bet it's from Cloud! I knew if I wrote him enough he wou-hey!

"You're no postman! I know every postman in the city!"

"Sign at the dotted line, please. Here, you can borrow my pen."

"Gaaaah!"

Whelp, Reeve is dead. Let's go see how Dr. McStrokevictimtits is doing with her duel.

"Azul?"

"His death was merely a prologue to the true terror."

"Wait, Deepground wasted the lives of around a hundred of its troops and presumably lost two of its top lieutenants...just to have some Trojan horse in the form of the non-corpse of Azul and mount a second siege later on?"

"That is correct."

"What if Azul was actually killed the first time?"

"That seems unlikely. He is quite strong."

"You're telling me if someone went over and put a couple of point blank rounds into his head, he's survive?"

"Well...the numbers coming out of his head would undoubtedly be large...but I believe he could handle it."

"What if they'd cremated the body? Or buried it well off site?"

"That could be...problematic... In any case, let's go head off to the next dramatic encounter so I can inevitably defect to the good guys."

"Sounds like a plan."

Back with Vinnie...

"All I'm saying are there aren't Indians on this planet. How can you still call it sitting 'Indian style'?"

"That's just what it's called, Vincent. I don't make up the names. You don't see me complaining about your name."

"What's wrong with my name? It's perfectly normal."

"Exactly!"

"Aaaaah!"

The 'Shadowfox' crashes for the second time now.

This sends Yuffie comically barrel rolling the length of the cabin. Yet, strangely Vincent manages to remain perfectly seated. There's a seatbelt joke in there somewhere, but I think anything involving a belt, strap, or restraint of any fashion has been run into the ground, at this point.

Oh dear... Vincent, you should really probably check on...

...her? I'd say something about how it's a bit assholish to immediately ditch your comrade following a head injury that renders her unconscious for the duration of the stage. Then I remembered it was Yuffie we were talking about.

It seems the Shadowfox has been bested by a roaming band of outlaw farmers and their tractors of doom. Long has the oppressed field hands of Final Fantasy VII gone unheralded. Today...today the day is theirs.

At least, it would be if they had more attacks than a single dumbfire rocket and getting stuck on the jagged parts of the map.

Anyhow, it seems Vincent is on a mountain pass that just happens to lead straight back to the WRO headquarters...if you're on foot. I don't know how in the blue hell the armored trailer expected to make it there. But, details...

And so Vincent bravely proceeds to bravely leave his unconscious friend in the back of a burning vehicle in hostile territory during a genocidal army's siege of the immediate area.