Part 48: Episode XLVI: The Final Flashback
Episode XLVI: The Final Flashback
Welcome to the penultimate stage. The only thing that will be beginning in this stage is the highest cutscene density for a single area in the entire game.
"Yes."
"You sure?" "Yes." "Really...? This looks pretty unsafe." "Just push the button, Vincent Valentine."
"Just make sure you press the blue button. Do not press the red button. Do not press it under any circumstances." "Why not?"
"It would not be a pleasant experience for me." "..."
"Right..." "Thank you."
You just know it took all their willpower not to jack the creepiness to 11 and stick her in that thing half naked.
"Sounds like a plan!" "..." "A plan where I do all the work and you accomplish something I could easily do on my own. How about you come along and actually help defeat the enemy?" "Hmm...yeah. I don't like that one as much. Where's the flashy entrance gonna fit into the equation? No. No, we'll just stick with super ninja Yuffie's flawless attack!"
And with that, Yuffie trots off toward future cutscenes where she will accomplish absolutely nothing useful.
"The flashback you left in the microwave."
"I believe it's ready..."Meanwhile, in flashback land...
"How's the whole unethical super science thing shakin'? Anybody here? Lucrecia? Lucrecia? Hellooooooooooooooo?!"
"Wait...there's more..."
"It's none of your business."
"I mean...what is going on with everyone's age? I'm supposed to be nearly 30. You works with my dad a few years ago but haven't aged a day. And my dad looked like he couldn't have been more than 40. I -- I'm just confused is all. And Hojo looks just as old twenty years ago as he did three years ago. I mean, it just doesn't add up." "Shut up! You have no idea what the Doctor looks like. He has a shadow over his face." "Is...that why there's a shadow? So they didn't have to make him look younger? But...it's not even a good shadow! You can clearly see exactly what he looks like. None of this makes sense!" "Stop it! Just stop it!" "Lucrecia..."
What? Literally every rotten thing that has happened in Vincent's past?
Oh... Just that...? Not going to apologize for completely stringing the kid along and utterly blueballsing him just because you wanted to pork his dad (and accidentally killed him.) Since, ya know, that ranks fairly high on the super bitch scale.
And so Lucrecia rushes off in tears after revealing herself to be the cause of Grimoire's untimely death. What's the best way to make amends with the orphaned Valentine now?
The answer is simple:
Rebound sex with Hojo!
And the curtains close on their ill-fated romance... Vincent went on to cry himself to sleep as Shinra Mansion foundation creaked with passion and the halls filled with the sounds of mad scientist cackling and his one true love moaning like a whore well into the night. The end.
Back in the present...
"It's as though my subconscious is actively trying to make me think of Vincent Valentine as a lesser man."
"Why are you fighting this battle? Or better yet, why are you not? At least fifteen to twenty minutes have passed since I have been asleep. You really do not have to stand there and stare at me. It is not only socially improper, but there are far more pressing matters at hand."
"..." "Eh... It's not... Truth is, I just have nothing better to do this week. It's either sit at home and watch re-runs of Law and Order or save the world. Eh... I figured I could use some fresh air."
"Not really been given ample motivation. My sister's death scene was poorly executed. This was compounded by the fact she did not, in fact, die. One would assume that would have lead to my character switch after a decade devoted to evil. But, Vincent... Honestly, it just is not doing it for me. I mean, the script says..."
"How am I supposed to work with that?" <shrug> "I'm going to go shoot some people. Take care."Bonus Content:
We Do Not Make Derails about Some Cool Guy. I Swear to God, I Will Turn This Car Around!
Number of Cutscenes: 4
Total Cutscenes: 177