Part 52: Episode L: Shyamalan
Episode L: Shyamalan
The fiftieth update...how appropriate. Alright, let's do this thing.
Apparently, Vincent was unceremoniously farted at by Nero or something during the loading screen after the last cutscene. Ahead is the final point of no return. Beyond that door only a series of cutscenes, boss fights, and madness stand between us and the credits.
Yuffie, of course, will not be contributing anything useful to the closing act. I guess a brief spooky encounter was enough to revert her from Super Ninja Yuffie to helpless damsel in distress until further notice.
The final jukebox store is also in this area (you can shop once more during the intermission, but this is the last meaningful use of the thing.)
It's best to pour any remain cash into maxing out any healing supplies and undoubtedly depleted ammo for the Cerberus. There isn't much use in upgrading any secondary weapons if you haven't already since...well, you'll see why...
Alright, let's do this final boss gate thing properly.
Hit the lights!
Nero is still staggering toward Weiss. Seems Weiss the Immaculate seems to have nabbed a Phoenix Down since we last saw him.
"My beloved brother. It is time. You look fabulous."
"Uhh...if you say so."
Weiss takes the time to deliver his first of many villainous laughter fits. Geez...Nomura didn't even try with this guy's design. Karate pants with some neon blue highlights. Dragon Ball Z Super Saiyan hair painted white. Throw in a couple of swords. Call it a day.
I certainly hope Nero's get-up isn't a recent fashion decision he's made.
"What the fuck are you wearing?!" "My attire is to bind the da--" "You know what? I don't even want to know."
"Hurghf! Urgha! Weiss? Th-this is no...not how you g-give a huuuuuuuuuug..." "I'm finished with you."
Weiss chucks that sonuvabitch across the room.
"Barf!"
"..."
"Haha! Totally called it!"
Weiss gives out his second villainous chortle. There will be a near critical cackling level by the end of this sequence. Bare with me.
Weiss proceeds to leap thirty feet in the air and rocket toward Vincent. Our hero actually uses his gun in a cutscene against an enemy for the first time since...what? The jet pack guys?
Unfortunately, Weiss' wrist can deflect bullets not-unlike Wonder Woman... minus the gauntlets... being a woman... or possessing anything you would use the word 'wonder' to describe.
"The difference being, Chaos is nothing more than a pawn, whereas Omega is the ultimate Weapon that will lead this planet's soul to the stars. Just thought I'm mention that again in case the fifteen other instances it's come up had been forgotten."
Has this claim ever really worked out for anybody?
Weiss almost goes into another fit of laughter, but stops short in order to bring up a new topic of discussion.
"What?" "Still in the dark? Oh right. We don't do foreshadowing around here. Hahahaha. Let me explain..."Alright, kids. I'm not going to alter this next monologue. I feel it speaks for itself...
"...my mind, my knowledge, my inner being across the world wide network."
...You have got to be shitting me!
Bonus Content:
What a Twist!
Number of Cutscenes: 3
Total Cutscenes: 191
Special Feature:
Vetinari posted:
Just another quick refresher on the Online game's plot as things are gonna get wild and wacky:
-Deepground was held in check by implants that would release a virus that kills them if they rebelled against their controllers (Restrictors).
-The player was an aberration in the system that was immune to said failsafe virus.
-The player is manipulated by Weiss and co. to rise up and kill the Restrictor.
-The player kills the Restrictor, but the player dies as well.
-A cure for the failsafe virus was NOT found, so the Tsviets are screwed in a week.
-Game ends, leads into Dirge's opening.
-As an aside, the world wide lifestream/network (aka FF7's internet) is also repaired around this time. So a great place for, say, desperately dying super-soldiers to try and research ways to survive a virus.
So the true plot is basically:
"Oh fuck dudes! We're gonna die! What do we do?!"
"To the Internet!"
"Do we still have Internet? We stopped paying the bill like months ago."
"It just came back online. Something knocked it out for a while but I guess they fixed it." "We're still not paying that bill." "Agreed. What does Web MD say about deadly failsafe viruses for secret armies?" "I'm afraid nothing." "Dammit! Isn't there anything we can do?" "Check the e-mail. Maybe Shinra sent us a way to fix this." "I'll try." "..." "Despite the apparent internet disconnection for some time, we have 241 e-mails in our inbox. An estimated 214 regard penis enlargement pills, information to receive a free Nintendo Wii, and a rich prince from Rocket Town who is willing to share his fortune with us." "I like the sound of the prince thing. Click that." "That would be unwise." "What do the rest of the e-mails have in them?" "Billing statements. Updates on Nero's Youtube subscription status -- information which I will never unsee." "..." "There is also an e-mail from someone named Dr. Hojo regarding vital information to our future success." "A doctor? Click it!" "I don't think..." "Weiss the Immaculate has spoken! Click it!!!" <sigh> "Fine..." "It says..."
"Can help with any problem regarding science. Just need a small, one-time fee of data upload to user's brain. Connect proper cables to frontal lobe and click the following link to begin. AOL users please copy and paste into your address bar." "This guy sounds legit. Let's do it." "He is a doctor, after all." "I concur. Mighty Weiss, will you do the honors?" "I do not thing this is suck a good id--" "Silence! Let the downloading begin. I shall be our martyr!" "Heil Weiss!"A USB cable up the nose and an 12 hours later...
"The file is fully downloaded. It appears to be an auto installer." "How do you feel, brother?" "Raid every populated town on the continent! We need clean bodies!" "But...why? What will that accomplish?" "Science!" "Heil Weiss!" "I need a career change."