Part 54: Episode LII: Hope You Didn't Heal!
Episode LII: Hope You Didn't Heal!
What's so immaculate about this guy? He's shirtless, has an epic case of bedhair, and essentially lives in an old boiler room.
Weiss has two attacks. Teleporting in Vincent's face and completely wrecking his day with a sword slash.
And firing a volley of gunblade shots. Which hurt slightly less than being disemboweled by Weiss' swords, but still enough to wreck our hero's shit.
Weiss also doesn't run. He teleports. Or at least, he slides around the room at super speeds and makes a teleport sound. Close enough, I suppose.
If Weiss stops long enough to actually get a couple of shots in on him, Vincent does pitiful damage against him. For you see, this isn't really a boss fight.
...it's one of those fun unwinnable boss battles. The type you're supposed to lose but the game doesn't tell you until you down a half dozen health drinks. Those are so fun in RPGs. It just seems natural to bring the mechanic into a third person shooter outting.
I'm honestly surprised the game didn't make me use the Phoenix Down and get my shit kicked in a second time before triggering the cutscene.
Vincent kicks into full blown
...only to immediately be defeated by a flick. I think that was supposed to make Weiss out to be an ultra powerful badass. It just makes me think that Vincent actually does have so little body mass that a light breeze could be his undoing.
"Argh... What? No... No I haven't. That was the first time I've tried that."
"Indeed. Hence you've already tried that." "..." "Are you narrating something I just attempted?" "I believe that has been established." "Why would you do that?!" "You already asked me why I would do that, Vincent." "What?! Stop that." "Why? Is it upsetting you, Vincent?" "Yes. Cut it out."
"Then my goal is complete. Wahahaha!"Elsewhere...
Eh?
Meanwhile...
Well, that was enlightening.
Lucrecia out of fucking nowhere! Giving entirely inaccurate advice to boot.
"You must rule Chaos. You can do it!" "Oh, talking dirty to the boy, eh? She used to howl that at night before I mounted her. Wahahaha!" "Shut up, Hojo." "You're the only ho here, joe. Wahahaha. I kill me."
"Hurry up and flash your breasts at the boy or whatever pep talk method you intended so we can get back to business."
Well, that was entirely unhelpful.
"Not you, though. I've met your only ally. What was it called...? Oh yes...righty. Hohohoho."
"She's returned to Lucrecia's Cavern. I know you've been there, Valentine. Can't say the same for me. Not willing to pay thirty gil a month for member's access to the site. Hahahaha!"
Weiss sends a Sonic Boom at Vincent. I guess they needed to break up the streak of Hadokens.
"Whaaaaat?! Oh... I see your ally did pull through. With the workout it gets, you must be able to benchpress tanks. Hehehehehe!"
Lucrecia's woefully unhelpful pep talk has somehow super powered Vincent.
Oh hey, the Protomateria. Remember that MacGuffin from way back when? Yeah, me neither. Apparently, they shoved the thing into Weiss and that's what killed him or...something. I sort of imagine Rosso waltzed into the chamber went 'ta-da' and just shoved it into Weiss' chest. He flopped over dead.
So, anyhow... Vincent can channel the Protomateria's energy...from inside Weiss...to pull a deus ex machina out of his ass.
Weiss' gimmick seems to be extraordinary powers of flicking.
Luckily, Vincent is extremely good at dodging small objects. It's not the power of Chaos or anything. He was just that one kid that everyone aimed for first when playing dodge ball. You know the one....
At least Weiss is having a good time.
"...you won't be able to stop me -- stop Omega." "From having banged Lucrecia. Hahahaha. Oh, it just... Hohohohoho. It just doesn't get old. Wahahaha!" "Hojo."
"What?! But we're just getting started."
"Very well then..."
"It's time for our final battle: The Greatest Scientific Mind in History vs. the Sixty Year Old Virgin. This should be fun..."Bonus Content:
Post Battle Wrap-up
Number of Cutscenes: 1
Total Cutscenes: 196