Part 34: Part Thirty-Four: Zell Saves the Day

Part Thirty-Four: Zell Saves the Day


Back in the cell, Selphie is drawing Cure off Zell. I don't even know if Zell has Cure.


It's not going so well, though.



: There seems to be an anti-magic field here.

Is magic use a big problem in prisons? Seems like it wouldn't really be a widespread criminal tool.


Oh, here's a, uh, a thing. With dinner.


Speaking of not going well.



Oh hey, this idiot is back.


In case you'd forgotten, he's mean.


Only one of these can reasonably be called "good manners".


I think Zell could take Mean Guy.


Selphie, Zell, and Quistis together could definitely take him.


This match goes better for Zell than the last one.


Yeah, see ya round, asshole.




: Doesn't work so well, but...



While she works on that, let's check in with Squall.

: What is SeeD? And why do they oppose the sorceress?

Because they get paid to?


Edea is taking the whole "assassination attempt" pretty personally.



: Excellent.


Very personally.


Squall would probably be yelling this out loud if he hadn't just been tortured.

: It's a pity, really. I grew up there, too...


That seems a bit disproportionate, but what do I know?

(This shot included so you can see Seifer poking Squall in the dick with his gunblade.)



: After the Garden's gone, the SeeD hunt will begin. I'll be Edea's bloodhound and hunt down everyone of your kind.

See, this is why people don't like sorceresses.


Oh, I'm sure it'll be a riot.

: Continue with the interrogation.



: I...don't...understand...the question.
Warden: Don't mess with me! Edea says you know something! Now spit it out!



That's what they say.

Warden: Hm? Yeah, so!?


Squall doesn't know anything, but if you pay attention to a lot of small things in the dialogue, the player can get a sense that something weird is going on. Regardless, though, it works to set up Edea as a villain; having Seifer do the torturing shows that she's not the type to dirty her own hands, and having missiles launched at Garden shows she's not the type to take half-measures.


Anyway, back to the task at hand.


Let's start out this torture sequence by lying to the guy. Classic torture strategy.

: ......
Warden: What's that?



Warden: What did you say?
: The true...goal of SeeD... To spread...seeds all over the world... Fill...the world w...with flowers.

This is maybe not the winningest lie he could have come up with.



You're not convincing anyone, buddy.

: See...seeing flowers... Takes...away people's will to fight.
Warden: What then? SeeD wants to bring love and peace to the world...?

I'm sure Selphie would corroborate that if you asked her.

Warden: Ha haha hah! Don't make me laugh! You can't fool me!
: W-we...steal the will to fight... Then we in...invade...
Warden: ...What?



This one's not canon.


A real SeeD would just take the torture.



The setup is the same.

: Your...
Warden: What did you say?
: Your...breath st...stin...stinks!

Squall, unwilling to just be left to die, decides to hurry it along.



Turns out insulting the torturer gets you more tortured. Who knew?



At least I don't have to mash on triangle.

Warden: Tch! Completely knocked out cold. Hey! You 2 Moombas! Watch him!


That's enough of Squall, I guess.


Now we get to walk around our cell. This bit of the game isn't really gameplay-heavy.


Selphie's not optimistic about their prospects.

: I wonder how they'll torture us? I hope it won't hurt!

Now I'm not optimistic about their prospects.


We cannot talk to or collide with the moomba.



: Anyone got a plan?


Selphie's a fun character. By the way, this line doesn't show up unless you stop the Mean Guy from beating up the moomba.


The moomba is not on board with Selphie's plan.

: I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
: (Doesn't sound like you are...)


Too bad they take your weapons away in jail.

: We have to somehow get them back...

Fun fact: I've always parsed that line as "get them back somehow" and just now noticed the actual word order.


Pictured: Zell remembering that he knows how to punch.

: (I could do some serious damage without weapons! It's up to me, baby!)


Finally, Zell is going to save the day.

: Oh yeah! You worked here as Ward, so you know the place!
: (Not really... All Ward did was mop the floors...)


Okay, how are you gonna get out of the cell?





: Guard! Guard! We need some help! Open the door!
Mean Guy: What's the problem?
: The women are unconscious! I think a snake bit 'em!


I imagine this line as just being completely incredulous. This is the most basic ploy there is.


He comes in anyway.


And Zell drops him in one punch.


See ya, Zell.


The moomba just wants to get away from Selphie.

: Ahh, I guess... Just don't get in the way!


And we're off, for the first real gameplay section since Winhill!


I think I gave every GF to Zell. I definitely loaded him up for Strength.


Then I went the wrong way.


This is where I should be.


My dude, should you really be playing with that just in the middle of the floor?


Jesus Christ, he impaled the other guy! This is why you never wave your gunblade around in the hallway!



Safety Video Victim: Is this what they call a gunblade?
Safety Video Star: Check these out, a whip, nunchaku...



Why didn't they take Zell's gloves away?


So, in order to get our shit back, we have to beat up two guards.


Guards are pretty much identical to G-Soldiers, except they have 1 more point in Speed.



He wouldn't be able to survive that hit until level 61.



Probably the biggest difference between Guards and G-Soldiers is that Guards have status magic to draw instead of basic elemental spells.

The lore reason for this is that they use Sleep spells to recapture escapees.


Blind is semi-useful, especially if you like Renzokuken.



Congratulations, Zell and Moomba.